1st September 1896

[Guest guest]

'One of the features of my new state was my changed attitude to the Minakshi

Temple. Formerly I used to go there very occasionally with friends to look at

the images and put the sacred ash and vermillion on my brow and I would return

home almost unmoved. But after the Awakening I went there almost every evening.

I used to go alone and stand motionless for a long time before an image of Siva

or Minakshi or Nataraja and the sixty-three Saints, and as I stood there waves

of emotion overwhelmed me. The soul had given up its hold on the body when it

renounced the 'I-am-the-body' idea and it was seeking some fresh anchorage;

hence the frequent visits to the temple and the outpouring of the soul in

tears. This was God's play with the soul. I would stand before Iswara, the

Controller of the universe and of the destinies of all, the Omniscient and

Omnipresent, and sometimes pray for the descent of His Grace upon me so that my

devotion might increase and become perpetual like that of the sixty-three

Saints. More often I would not pray at all but silently allow the deep within

to flow on and into the deep beyond. The tears that marked this overflow of the

soul did not betoken any particular pleasure or pain. I was not a pessimist; I

knew nothing of life and had not learnt that it was full of sorrow. I was not

actuated by any desire to avoid rebirth or seek Liberation or even to obtain

dispassion or salvation. I had read no books except the Periapuranam, the Bible

and bits of Tayumanavar or Tevaram. My conception of Iswara was similar to that

found in the Puranas; I had never heard of Brahman, samsara and so forth. I did

not yet know that there was an essence or Impersonal Real underlying everything

and that Iswara and I were both identical with it. Later, at Tiruvannamalai, as

I listened to the Ribhu Gita and other sacred books, I learnt all this and found

that the books were analysing and naming what I had felt intuitively without

analysis or name. In the language of the books I should describe the state I

was in after the awakening as Suddha Manas or Vijanana or the intuition of the

Illumined.'

As he set out for Arunachala, the young Venkataraman wrote:

'I have set out in search of my Father in accordance with His command. It is on

a virtuous enterprise that this has embarked, therefore let none grieve over

this act and let no money be spent in search for this. Your college fees have

not been paid. Two rupees are enclosed herewith.'

It was the morning of September 1st, 1896, three days after leaving home, when

he arrived at Tiruvannamalai station.

With quick steps, his heart throbbing with joy, he hastened straight to the

great Temple. In mute sign of welcome, the gates of the three high compound

walls and all the doors, even that of the inner shrine, stood open. There was

no one else inside, so he entered the inner shrine alone and stood overcome

before his Father Arunachaleswar. There, in the bliss of Union, was the quest

achieved and the journey ended.

(Ramana Maharshi and the Path of Self-Knowledge - Arthur Osborne, Rider 1970)