Bhagavan's Teachings

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Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya

We all had an intersting discussion on 'Atma Vichara' yesterday in chat room. In

this context I would like to repeat a portion of the post sent by Alagesan

Palanivelu on 28th June.He quoted an excerpt of an annonymous author(describing

his first experiance of the I-I which occured during a six day visit to Ramana's

Ashram in 1939) from collection of reminiscenes by Ramana devotees published in

1946. I feel this post is worth reading, once again.

David Godman has also written an interesting article (Shri Ramana Maharshi on

'I' and 'I-I'),to read this pls check his web site.

 

Quote

"MAHARSHI READ [MY QUESTION] and smiled, and smiling he turned towards me. I was

sitting there with folded hands and eyes filled with tears. As he looked at me I

was overwhelmed and a violent emotion convulsed my body which set Maharshi

laughing. He laughed merrily for some time and then silently folded the paper

and left it on a bookshelf which stood nearby. He did not speak to me nor did

he seem to pay any further attention to me. The mind cannot remain in a tense

state for long; sheer exhaustion calms it down. My mind calmed down after some

time. The bell rang summoning us to dinner and we followed Maharshi to the

dining hall.

I had placed my case before Maharshi. He did not even speak to me; rather he

laughed at me! There was nothing more to be done. I must return home and be a

laughing-stock also to my friends and relatives. What could be done? He could

not be forced to bestow Grace. With these thoughts the mind became resigned.

After the night meal they used to spend half an hour in meditation in the hall

in Maharshi's presence. Mechanically I followed them and sat with them in the

hall. A few minutes passed. Then suddenly I felt a pleasant coolness inundating

me. It seemed to emanate from the very bones, cooling the whole being. Is this

the spiritual fragrance spoken of as emanating from Maharshi? Whatever it might

be, I had no doubt that it came from Maharshi and at his will.

This was on the night of the third day of my visit. On the next day, while

sitting before Maharshi, I experienced a sudden pull in the region of the

heart. I was astonished and, as I sought to observe it, it passed away. Nothing

like the experience of the previous night was repeated. The remainder of the day

passed in keen expectation, but nothing happened, even during the meditation

period after the night meal. Perhaps expectation obstructed its manifestation.

Next morning, i.e., on the fifth day of my stay at the ashram, news came of

further heavy bombing of the eastern coastline by the Japanese, and I naturally

became anxious for my family. Moreover, as I did not experience anything unusual

during the meditation periods of the previous night and of that morning, I

thought that I had obtained what I deserved and that nothing more would be

gained by a further stay at the ashram. So I decided to return home. In the

afternoon I wrote out my intention to go home on a piece of paper and placed it

before Maharshi. He read it, silently folded the paper, and left it on the

shelf. He spoke nothing and did not even look at me. Another rebuff.

I made preparations for my departure, packed up my small belongings, and, after

taking my evening meal, requested an inmate of the Ashram to kindly get a

carriage for me; but I was told that no carriage would be available at that

hour, that I should have informed him earlier so that one might have been

fetched from the town. I was thus compelled to stay at the Ashram for another

day.

Next morning I attended the usual prayers. I did not experience anything

abnormal during the meditation period. Discussions generally take place when

they assemble in the hall after breakfast. Maharshi also answers questions from

earnest seekers. That morning also discussions were going on. As they were

talking mostly in Tamil (a language not known to me) my attention was not

attracted till I found some people turning their heads and laughing at me. On

enquiry I learnt that they were discussing the subject-matter of my first

letter to Maharshi. Evidently, he had spoken something to them regarding this

letter. Though made a laughing-stock, I was still glad to find that he had at

last taken notice of me. I took part in the discussions and, as I was in the

back row, some distance away from them, they asked me to come nearer so that

there might not be any difficulty in following each other, and I obeyed. I was

thus brought very near

Maharshi's seat. Our discussions over, I heard Maharshi say, "He is

concentrating on the reflection and complains that he cannot see the original."

It struck me forcefully. What did he mean by reflection and what was the

original? I shut my eyes and tried to find out the meaning. Immediately after,

I felt a pull in the region of the heart, similar to what I felt two days

previously but much stronger in intensity. My mind was completely arrested --

stilled, but I was wide awake. Suddenly, without any break in my consciousness,

the "I" flashed forth! It was self-awareness, pure and simple, steady, unbroken

and intensely bright, as much brighter than ordinary consciousness as is

sunlight brighter than the dim light of a lamp. In ordinary consciousness the

"I"-sense dimly remains in the background -- as a matter of inference or

intuition -- the whole of the consciousness being occupied by the object. Here,

"I" came to the foreground, occupied, or rather became, the whole consciousness,

and intensely existed as pure consciousness, displacing all objects. I was, but

I was neither the subject nor the object of this consciousness. I WAS this

consciousness, which alone existed. There were no objects. The world was not,

neither the body nor the mind -- no thought, no motion; time also ceased to

exist. I alone existed and that I was consciousness itself, self-luminous and

alone, without a second... Suddenly, and again without any break in my

consciousness, I was brought back to my normal, ordinary consciousness.

A great miracle had been performed in broad daylight in the presence of so many

people, without their knowing it. No argument of the greatest philosophers and

scientists of the world will now make me doubt the possibility of experiencing

the "I" in its pure state or pure consciousness, without any subject-object

relationship. Of course, I myself had not the least inkling of such a state

even a second earlier, and I never expected to get such an experience. I, an

insignificant creature, wallowing in the mud of mundane existence, and without

any sadhana, being granted this supreme experience! -- an experience which is

rarely obtained even by great yogis after austerest spiritual practices

strenuously performed for ages together. Such is the wonder of His Grace! --

immeasurable and unfathomable Grace!

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