PROBLEMS AND EXPERIENCES-PART IV (END)

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Problems and Experiences-Part IV (End)

 

Q: My attempts at concentration are frustrated by sudden

palpitations of the heart and accompanying hard, short and quick

breaths. Then my thoughts also rush out and the mind becomes

uncontrollable. Under healthy conditions I am more successful and my

breath comes to a standstill with deep concentration. I had long

been anxious to get the benefit of Sri Bhagavan's proximity for the

successful culmination of my meditation and so came here after

considerable effort. I felt ill here. I could not meditate and so I

felt depressed. I made a determined effort to concentrate my mind

even though I was troubled by short and quick breaths. Though partly

successful it does not satisfy me. The time for my leaving the place

is drawing near. I feel more and more depressed as I contemplate

leaving the place. Here I find people obtaining peace by meditation

in the hall whereas I am not blessed with such peace. This itself

has a depressing effect on me.

 

A: This thought, `I am not able to concentrate', is itself an

obstacle. Why should the thought arise ?

 

Q: Can one remain without thoughts rising all the twenty-four hours

of the day? Should I remain without meditation?

 

A: What is `hours' again? It is a concept. Each question of yours is

prompted by a thought. Whenever a thought arises, do not be carried

away by it. You become aware of the body when you forget the Self.

But can you forget the Self ? Being the Self how can you forget it ?

There must be two selves for one to forget the other. It is absurd.

So the Self is not depressed, nor is it imperfect. It is ever happy.

The contrary feeling is a mere thought which has actually no stamina

in it. Be rid of thoughts. Why should one attempt meditation? Being

the Self one remains always realized. Only be free from thoughts.

You think that your health does not permit your meditation. This

depression must be traced to its origin. The origin is the wrong

identification of the body with the Self. The disease is not of the

Self, it is of the body. But the body does not come and tell you

that it is possessed by the disease. It is you who say so. Why ?

Because you have wrongly identified yourself with the body. The body

itself is a thought. Be as you really are. There is no reason to be

depressed.

 

Q: Suppose there is some disturbance during meditation, such as

mosquito bites. Should one persist in meditation and try to bear the

bites and ignore the interruption, or drive the mosquitoes away and

then continue the meditation?

 

A: You must do as you find most convenient. You will not attain

mukti simply because you drive them away. The thing is to attain one-

pointedness and then to attain mano-nasa [destruction of the mind].

Whether you do this by putting up with the mosquito bites or driving

the mosquitoes away is left to you. If you are completely absorbed

in your meditation you will not know that the mosquitoes are biting

you. Till you attain that stage why should you not drive them away?

 

Q: People practising meditation are said to get new diseases; at any

rate, I feel some pain in the back and front of the chest. This is

stated to be a test by God. Will Bhagavan explain this and say if it

is true?

 

A: There is no Bhagavan outside you and no test is therefore

instituted. What you believe to be a test or a new disease resulting

from spiritual practices is really the strain that is now brought to

play upon your nerves and the five senses. The mind which was

hitherto operating through the nadis [nerves] to sense external

objects, maintaining a link between itself and the organs of

perception, is now required to withdraw from the link' and this

action of withdrawal naturally causes a strain, a sprain or a snap

attendant with pain. Some people call this a disease and some call

it a test of God. All these pains will go if you continue your

meditation, bestowing your thought solely on understanding your Self

or on Self-realization. There is no greater remedy than this

continuous yoga or union with God or atman. Pain is inevitable as a

result of discarding the vasanas [mental tendencies] which you have

had for so long.

 

Q: What is the best way of dealing with desires and vasanas with a

view to getting rid of them - satisfying them or suppressing them?

 

A: If a desire can be got rid of by satisfying it, there will be no

harm in satisfying such a desire. But desires generally are not

eradicated by satisfaction. Trying to root them out that way is like

trying to quench a fire by pouring inflammable spirits on it. At the

same time, the proper remedy is not forcible suppression, since such

repression is bound to react sooner or later into a forceful surging

up of desires with undesirable consequences. The proper way to get

rid of a desire is to find out `Who gets the desire? What is its

source?' When this is found, the desire is rooted out and it will

never again emerge or grow. Small desires such as the desire to eat,

drink, sleep and attend to calls of nature, though these may also be

classed among desires, you can safely satisfy. They will not implant

vasanas in your mind, necessitating further birth. Those activities

are just necessary to carry on life and are not likely to develop or

leave behind vasanas or tendencies. As a general rule, therefore,

there is no harm in satisfying a desire where the satisfaction will

not lead to further desires by creating vasanas in the mind.

 

Q: In the practice of meditation are there any signs in the realm of

subjective experience which will indicate the aspirant's progress

towards Self-realization?

 

A: The degree of freedom from unwanted thoughts and the degree of

concentration on a single thought are the measures to gauge the

progress.

 

NOTE: TAKEN FROM "BE AS YOU ARE", EDITED BY DAVID GODMAN, PAGES 170

TO 178