"kAmmangaL mAtru..": The Destiny of Desire

[Guest guest]

Dear friends,

 

If Stanza#28 ("karaivagal pin senru") celebrates the soul's

attaiment of God in the climactic moments of the 'tiruppAvai',

Stanza#29 ("sitran siru kAlE..") today (13 Jan) celebrates the

aftermath of such attainment.

 

The aftermath of attaining God, in SriVaishnava

thought, is equally, if not more important than the

soul's union with God.

 

What is the "aftermath" of such union? What does

attainment of 'brahman' entail? What follows

after a soul has attained the supreme state of

"parama-padam". This profound Upanishadic question

gets answered in the 29th 'pasuram' of the tiruppAvai.

 

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The "aayarpAdi" girls say, "nee, kutrayval engaLai

kollAmal pOgAdu... anru kAn gOvindA... etraikkum

Ezh-Ezh piravikkum... undannOdu utrOmE aavOm... unakkE

nAmAt seyyvOm!".

 

This is a phrase pregnant with enormous significance.

 

After having "attained" the Feet of Krishna

("pOtthAmarai adiyE") the girls tell Him:

 

"O Krishna, if you think that we are happy now that we

have attained you, then you are thoroughly mistaken.

Our goal is not simply attaining you. Our real goal is

to attain you and then enter upon your personal

service ("antaranga kainkaryam") as your servants....

It is only You, O Krishna, who can grant us such

eternal employment whose rich reward is You Yourself!"

 

(In the "ArAiyarapadi" the commentator Sri.AMP Nayanar

puts it very beautifully, "engallai nee

kollumadanai-yozhiya, nAngal un pakkalilley unnai

yozhiyavumm koLvathonrundu enrerrindAyO!").

 

"O Krishna, our service to you should be not just for

now, not for today, not just for tomorrow... but for

eternity. The joy of eternal Service to You

("kainkarya-purushArtha") is for us a thousand-fold

greater than the joy of attaining You." (Here, one

recollects the prayer of nammAzhwAr's to the Lord of

Tirupati (T.mozhi 3-3-1):"ozhivil-kAlamellAm udanAy

manni, vazhuvilA adimai seyya vendumm nAm!").

 

The girls further tell Krishna, "Our service to, O

Krishna must be uninterrupted.... there should be no

break or leave of absence...."sambandham undAyirukka

seyydE patthumAsam pirind iruthal; pathinAlAndu pirind

iruthal, pathinArAndu pirind irutthal

seyyavonNAdu".... even if there should be some such

fated interruption, O Krishna, let us not be separated

from You too long.... 10 months like Sita is the

utmost we can bear.... but if we were to be separated

from you for 14 long years like Bharatha was or for 16

interminable years like NammAlwAr...it would be simply

unbearable for us....". The pathos ("akinchanayatvam")

of the poor, simple aayarpAdi girls is superbly portrayed

here by gOdA-pirAttiyAr.

 

Finally they tell Krishna, "Lord, 'matrai nam kAmangaL

mAtru"...

 

In the course of our eternal employment ("nitya-

kainkaryam") with You, may our single-minded desire to serve

You remain unchanged! And should our hearts entertain the trace

of any other desire ("matru kAmangal") whatsoever, even those

desires, O Krishna, please sublimate them and convert everyone of

them ("mAtru") into undying God-desire only.....".

 

Beautiful and moving lines indeed are these of AndAl-pirAtti where

she defines for us what is true Desire and what is true Prayer.

 

If we pray to God to fulfil our many desires in life, prayer

becomes unwise. The purpose of life is not satiation of desire. If we

pray to God to root out all desire, that too would be un-realistic

because 'kAmA' can never be extinguished as long there is life. But

if we realize the true destiny of human desire -- that 'kAmA' too is

in fact one of the 4 great 'purushArthA-s' of life (the other being

'dharma', 'artha' and 'moksha'), then we would appreciate that the

wisest course of action for us is to pray, as the 'aayarpAdi' girls

did, for all gross desires to be turned into a sublime one... i.e to

be sublimated into a single all-powerful, all-exclusive desire for

God.

 

Prayer might start with trifles -- the 'aayarpAdi' girls ask indeed

for trifles in the previous pAsuram-s -- but finally, in Verse 29, we

see them asking God for the sublimation of their petty personal

desires.

 

If we must pray for the various petty things in life

there will be no end to our petitioning. But if we pray for the one

thing in life that will put an end to all petitioning forever,

imagine how liberated and joyful we can be! This simple truth is

shown

to us here by AndAl. The prayer of the 'aayarpAdi' girls is the

surest way in which we too can organize our many unsatiated worldly

desires so that God may work through them for the realization of the

real end of life -- viz. the cessation of desire ending in

"parama-purushArtam".

 

When we pray to God in this way, it tends to purify and enlighten the

desire itself. And when the petition is granted it may be on a much

higher plane than when it was first offered to God. Yet it is the

same

prayer! The desire is always satisfied. But it gets sublimated in the

process of satiation.

 

That is exactly what happens to the 'aayarpAdi' girls, as we see, in

the tiruppAvai. They start by praying to God for things like rain,

good crops and prosperity("sAra mazhai", "teengnru nAdu" and

"neengAtha selvam"); then they ask for their sacrifices to be

fruitful

("neyy unnOm, pAl unnOm"); then they ask for trifles like "parai",

"villaku", "kOdi", "vidAnam" etc.. ... but finally they end up asking

for nothing else in life ("matrai namkAmangal matru") but the highest

and supreme Destiny of all Desire -- oneness with God and eternal

servitude to Him... "undannOdu utrOmE aavOm... unakkE nAmAt

seyyvOm!".

 

The essence of 'pAsuram' 29 is therefore only this: "Our prayer to

God

is not to ask that He change the course of things in this world for

our sake. True prayer is to ask Him to help us be part of that course

of

things He has designed for all Creation".

 

********* ******** **********

 

God ("mula-sukhrutan") is the means ("upAyam") and the

End ("upEyam") for every soul. He will shower his

infinite Mercy ("nirhEtuka-kripa") upon a soul of His

accord. All that the individual soul must do is to wish for

"ananya prayOjana kainkaryam' ... for eternal service unto

Him exactly as the 'aayarpAdi' girls did.

 

This is the highest and subtlest truth of SriVaishnavite

philosophy that this 29th Stanza of the "tiruppAvai"

teaches.

 

AndAl tiruvadigalE sharanam

 

dAsan,

Sudarshan

 

 

 

 

 

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