Query on Information: sthree dhanam in vedas

[Guest guest]

SrI:

 

Dear Friend :

 

In response to your question on Sthree Dhanam,

Here are my views.A quick answer to Your question is:

There is no support for Sthree dhanam in the Vedas

(Rg vedam X Canto).

 

(The question of the freind who has asked me

to respond is at the end of my response. Please

read it first to get a perspective on my response).

 

Sthree Dhanam (Dowry ) is an abomination and

has no roots in the VedAs .If the parents of

the bride wish to bless their daughter with

sthree Dhanam (property, Jewelery et al)as a mark of

their affection , it is fine. On no account should

the parents of the bridegroom demand a shopping list of

things as if it is a commercial transaction ,

where their son's value is being put on a scale

(ThulA Bharam) or assessed as a Return on investment

made by them on his education and earning potential .

 

In the old Vedic times , a bachelor had

to approach the parents of a Kanya thru

elders and seek her hand for conducting

a vedic life as a Grahasthan . Bhakthi List

(http://www.ramanuja.org) has a detailed

essay on Vedic Wedding , which I wrote back in 1995 .

 

Here is the acrual URL:

 

http://www.ramanuja.org/sv/rituals/sacraments/marriage_mantras.html

 

Today's cruel custom of demanding a dowry

and weighing the price of a catch

are atrociuos and despicable. I have seen too many

tragedies of bride being destroyed due to

the thoughtlessness and cruelty of the parents of

the bridegroom.

 

The bride should be welcomed to the house of

the bridegroom as a precious one and cherished.

Many of our young men are so influenced by

the parents demands that they do not protest

this cruelty and injustices of Dowry .

 

last year , I opened a web site for parents of brides and

bridegrooms to introduce themselves and plan a dowry free wedding .

You can to it by sending mail to:

 

sadagopan10510-

 

Many girl's lives are ruined by this obnoxious

non-vedic practise . The horrible behavior of

in-laws after the wedding and demanding of more

presents for their son (automobiles, refreigirators

and so many other stupid things) and sending

the newly married bride home to her parents for noncompliance

with their demands and the spineless newly wed husband

watching this horrible treatment is fairly familiar.

 

This practise based on greed and disregard for

the intrinsic worth of the kanyA has to be stopped

at all costs .

 

In summary , Vedic weddings are to build families and practise

GrahasthAsrama Dharmams without the unwelcome practise of dowries

and other monetary considerations that humilate the sacred ritual of

VivAham/Kanyaa Dhaanam processes these days.

 

DEvotees of the Lord! Please unite to put an end to

these coercive and adharmic practises thru personal examples.

 

V.Sadagopan

 

Question of the Friend

***********************

At 04:33 PM 4/27/03 -0000, you wrote:

>Dear sir,

>

>I would like to know about " Sthree Dhnam " described in our

>VEDAS.

 

>As your name has been refered by one of my friend, I have decided

>to contact to know that issue. Plese inform me why sthree dhanam

>is being given to a women and in what circumstances it is given.

>As this information is urgently required I request you to please

>send me the details on Sthree Dhanam as early as possible for

>which I shall be gtateful to you.

>

>Thanking you in anticiaption of reply mail.

[Guest guest]

Dear bhagavathAs,

 

sthrI is dhanam, that's why a bride is referred to as gReha laxmi.

Greatest dAnam is considered to be kanyA dAnam.

As Sriman SadagOpan has already said, there are no mantras in the Vedas

for dowry. There is no kriya without mantra, yet none for dowry!

It is perhaps some kutantram that started the tradition.

I think if some parents want to pour gifts over their daughter in marriage

is fine, but demanding and or expecting the gift are adhamAdhamam.

 

dAsan

 

KotikanyAdAnam Sreekrishna Tatachar