~*~ Religous Merger Craziness...!!! LOL>>>!!!! :-) ~*~

[Guest guest]

--- In

 

~*~ Forwarded By: Cozmic Neon Flower of Mystic Ambrosia & Shivani

Sannyasini ~*~

 

~*~ Thought I'd share this, in case you haven't heard: :~)

 

 

 

~*~ RELIGIOUS MERGER CREATES 900 MILLION HINJEW>>>!!! ~*~

 

 

Attainment of Nirvana Still The Goal, But Not So Important

That You Should Miss Cousin Vijay's Bar Mitzvah...>>>!!!

 

 

New Delhi, India (SatireWire.com) ? Hinjew leaders today conceded the

merger

of Hinduism and Judaism has not worked out as planned, as instead of

forming

a super-religion to fight off the common Islamic enemy, they have instead

created a race of 900 million people who, no matter how many times

they are

reincarnated, can never please their mothers.

 

"On paper, this was a textbook alliance ? two smaller competitors join

forces to take on a larger adversary," said New Delhi resident Chandra

Gopan. "But the synergies are just not there. For instance, I still

believe

I must pursue my own dharmic path to ultimate happiness, but when I get

there, I just know my mother will find something wrong with it."

 

 

Military officers, in particular, have found assimilation difficult. "We

were all excited at first, especially about the Kama Sutra parts, but it's

not going to work," Israeli Col. Benyamin Telluk said at a joint press

conference with Indian officers. "I mean, just this morning, I was showing

Col. Bhadrak here pictures of my family, and he said my wife was a cow."

 

"I said his wife reminds me of a cow," Bhadrak explained.

 

"Oh, you've said it again!" screamed Telluk.

 

"It's a compliment!" answered Bhadrak.

 

Hinjews across the world, meanwhile, said they also were too busy dealing

with integration to worry about Pakistanis, Palestinians, or any other

opponents.

 

"Surprisingly, it's not the big issues, like is there one God or are there

many? It's the little things," said New York City Hinjew Nathan Feldman.

"Like my Hindu half acknowledges that this world is full of suffering, but

my Jewish half just goes on and on about it."

 

SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH A NICE HINJEW GIRL?

 

However, most agreed that even if other issues could be overcome, maternal

obstacles to Hinjuism would always exist.

 

"Yesterday, my former self was killed in a car accident," said the

late Gori

Bhupendra of Madras. "But I had good karma, so I was reincarnated this

morning into the Vaisya caste. To me, this is a step up, right?"

 

But then Bhupendra's former Sudras mother tracked him down.

 

"She says, 'Oh, Vaisya now, is it? Very nice. Of course, your former

brother

is a Ksatriya, but he was always an overachiever.'"

 

Meanwhile, Muslim nations, citing the difficult Hinjew merger, said they

have discontinued talks with the world's largest religion to form

Chrislam.

 

"It wouldn't have worked anyway," said Imam Satra Mohammed of

Damascus. "The

first time we drank the communion wine, we would have all had to kill

ourselves."

--- End forwarded message ---