Guest guest Posted February 11, 2000 Report Share Posted February 11, 2000 >From Vrinda Devi >Vrinda >Vrinda >You know you are Asian when >Thu, 10 Feb 2000 21:05:00 EST > >[sent to me by an Indian friend in London] > >TOP TEN REASONS WHY THERE WON'T BE AN ASIAN PRESIDENT ANYTIME SOON > >10. White House not big enough for in-laws >9. Engineering, medicine, and law always preferred over politics >8. Oval Office has bad feng shui >7. Can't find decent roast duck inside the beltway >6. Secret service can't handle nagging from mother >5. Dignitaries generally intimidated by chopsticks at state dinners >4. No chance for promotion >3. Lactose intolerance not considered politically correct >2. Senior aides won't take off shoes before coming in >1. Air Force One: No frequent flyer miles > >HOW TO BE THE PERFECT ASIAN AMERICAN PARENT? >(From the second generation perspective) > >1. Be a little more lenient on the 7:00 p.m. curfew. >2. Don't ask where the other point went when your child comes home with >99 grade on his/her report card. >3. Don't "ai-yah" loudly at your kid's dress habits. >4. Don't blatantly hint about the merits of Habad (Harvard), >Yeil(Yale),Purinsiton (Princeton), or Stamfud (Stanford). >5. Don't reveal all the intimate details of your kid's life to the entire >Asian community. >6. Don't ask your child, "What are you going to do with your life?" If >he/she majors in a non-science field. >7. Don't give your son a bowl haircut or your daughter two acres of >bangs. >8. Don't try to set your kid up on a date in anticipation of their poor >taste or inept social skills. >9. Incorporate other phrases besides, "Did you study yet?" or "When are >you getting married?" into your daily conversations with your >children. >10. Don't ask all your kid's friends over the age of 21 if they have a >boy/girlfriend yet. > >50 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU'RE AN "ASIAN" >(* The NEW List from the 1st to 1.5 Generation Perspective*) > >1. You were/are a good student with very high GPAs >2. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or >finance >3. You have more than one-college degrees, especially more than one >Master's >4. If you play a musical instrument, it must be piano >5. You have a vinyl table clothe on your kitchen table >6. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil >7. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it >8. You beat eggs with chopsticks >9. You always leave outdoor shoes at the door >10. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack >11. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times >12. You boil water before drinking >13. You eat all meals in the kitchen to keep your dining room clean >14. You don't use measuring cups when preparing foods >15. You save grocery bags and use them to hold garbage >16. You have a rice cooker >17. You're a wok user >18. You fight over who pays the dinner bill >19. You wash rice 2-3 times before cooking it >20. You make sounds when you have a bowl of soup. >21. Your don't dry-clean cloths, even if they need to be dry-cleaned >22. You iron your own shirts >23. You like congee (Zhou1) with thousand year old eggs Song1Hua1) >24. You always cook yourself, even if you hate it >25. You use credit cards, and pay monthly bills in full >26. You keep most of your money in a savings account >27. You buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off >28. When you hand wash dishes, you only use cold water >29. You hate to waste food > a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to >throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them > b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or >one leftover chicken wing >30. You don't own any real Tupperware--only a cupboard full of used but >carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars >31. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses >32. When toilet paper is on sale, you buy 100 rolls and store them >33. You have a collection of miniature shampoo/conditioner bottles and >little soap bars that you take every time you stay in a hotel >34. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in >plastic packets, which you "save" every time you get take out >or go to McDonald's. >35. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel >means any car ride longer than 15 minutes) >36. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table >37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself >38. When you go to a dance party, there is a wall of guys surrounding the >dance floor trying to look cool. >39. Your house/apt. is always cold in winter, and hot in summer >40. Your mom drives her Mercedes to Price Club, or Shoppers Food >Warehouse regardless how far it is, even if Safeway is next >door. >41. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling >Directory Assistance costs 50 cents >42. You only make long distance calls after 11pm or during weekends >43. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached. >44. You never call your parents just to say hi. >45. You think ONLY Japanese can make good CARS! >46. You use a colored face cloth every morning >47. You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat places. >48. You've joined a CD club at least once >49. You never discuss your love life with your parents > >AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST >50. You take this message and forward it to all your Asian friends. > ____ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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