Memories of Prabhupad's Final Days

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Srila Prabhupada's Superficial Departure

 

BY ANANTACARYA DASA

 

VRNDAVANA, INDIA, Nov 18 (VNN) — There follows a report of some of

the details that occurred during the last five days of Srila

Prabhupada's presence with us in Vrndavan, India. It is a diary, kept

by the author, which was written everyday in Vrndavan at that time.

It is herewith delivered as it was written 24 years ago in l977, with

no additions. (Moreover, original word spellings are included as they

are).

 

ON THE DISAPPEARANCE OF OUR BELOVED SPIRITUAL MASTER, HIS DIVINE

GRACE, OM VISHNUPADA 108 A. C. BHAKTIVEDANTA SWAMI PRABHUPADA.

 

11 November l977.

 

I arrive at the Mandir (from California) at about 9:30 A. M. As soon

as possible I enter Srila Prabhupada's room. He is lying on his back

in his King-Sized bed, being massaged gently by his close associates.

There is a kirtan in progress. Srila Prabhupada is incredibly thin,

and his hands and feet are swollen. His limbs are supported by

pillows. There is a discussion in progress between Srila Prabhupada

and his close disciples.

 

Srila Prabhupada has expressed his wish to go on parikram to Govardan

Hill.

 

Upon being asked if he will ride in a minibus, his answer is "Bullock

Cart".

 

(This discussion is being recorded and is on tape, I believe). Tamal

Krishna is writing down on a pad what Srila Prabhupada's desires are.

Srila Prabhupada is so weak that the only parts of his body that he

is moving are the lower parts of his arms, and then only barely. He

at most pushes against a cover slightly or raises a hand as a signal.

If he wants to move a leg even slightly, he asks someone to do it for

him. It just does not seem possible for a person to be so emaciated,

but there He is, our Spiritual Master, in His transcendental body---

that looks thinner than people who have been living under near

starvation conditions. And in this unbelievably weakened condition he

is proposing to go down the road 20 miles in a bullock cart. What to

speak of then circumnambulating the hill, staying overnight, and then

coming back the next day! Even in this unbelievable bodily condition,

He remains our intrepid and enthusiatic devotionally courageous

Spiritual Leader. He certainly isn't going to let any kind of bodily

condition stop him from going to Govardhan Hill for Govardhan Puja.

We, of course, are all worried, but start making plans for the

parikram.

 

12 November l977

 

During the night, at about 1:00 A. M., I re-enter the room. Srila

Prabhupada is resting. Swarup Damodara, one of His personal servants,

is tending closely to Srila Prabhupada. Shortly after I arrive,

Swarup Damodara is relieved by Bavananda Maharaj who helps Srila

Prabhupada turn over in bed. Bavananda begins massaging Srila

Prabhupada, and while Srila Prabhupada rests, the room is completely

silent. We chant Japa under our breaths. When Bavananda comes close

to help, Srila Prabhupada asks, "Who is it?" Later on I find out that

some of Srila Prabhupada's associates have talked him out of going on

the parikram, and He has agreed that we will go instead. The night is

chilly. Today is Govardhan Puja, and later on in the morning the

Temple will be decorated.

 

Kaviraj (Shastri-ji, the doctor) comes in at 8:00 A.M. He takes Srila

Prabhupada's pulse and states that the pulse is perfectly normal

again.

 

Kaviraj says that he has seen many, many patients, but never one with

a body like Srila Prabhupada's. One day everything will seem to be in

disorder, but the next day everything will be perfect again. Today

there is no more high blood pressure either. Kaviraj says that he

will have to go to Jaipur to get the ingredients for a special

medicine. He is sure that if Srila Prabhupada will continue to take

milk, take the medicine (when it becomes available), and (one other

thing I couldn't hear), then Srila Prabhupada will be well.

 

Kirtan starts quietly, and most of us leave the room with Shastri-ji.

 

At about 3:50 P.M. I re-enter the room. There are about 10 devotees

singing a nice kirtan for Srila Prabhupada. Shortly thereafter,

another devotee and I are given a chance to lead the kirtan. He is

playing the harmonium, and I accompany him with a pair of karatals.

We sing continuously until 7:00 P.M. During this time Srila

Prabhupada asks to be seated up in bed!!! He not only sits up in bed,

but also accepts a portion of choody noodles! He chews just a little

bit of it, and, after he is done, Upendra carefully distributes to us

that which is left on the plate. Needless to say, the devotees in the

room waste no time in honoring the Maha Prasad that has come right

off the plate of the pure devotee! Srila Prabhupada is always giving

to us, no matter what his apparent condition.

 

Sunday, 13 November, 1977.

 

Upon entering the room at 1:00 A.M., I prostrate myself near the bed,

and offer obeisances to our Spiritual Master. The room is completely

silent except for two sounds: the very faint sound of Srila

Prabhupada's breath as he sleeps, and the slight rustle of

Bavananda's beads as he chants silently. There are four of us in the

room: Srila Prabhupad, Bavananda Maharaj, Giriraj, and myself. I take

the opportunity to chant silently.

 

Srila Prabhupada sleeps well for awhile, but then he awakens. He

begins to have more trouble with his body. Bavananda does everything

that he can----rearranging pillows, massaging, moving Srila

Prabhupada, changing the blankets, but no matter what, Srila

Prabhupada is still not doing well at all. Bavananda gives the order

the go wake up Upendra. Upendra is here in no time and takes care of

things nicely enough that Srila Prabhupada calms down and goes back

to sleep. He sleeps well from 2:00 to 3:00 A.M. Then he wakes up

again. For awhile he is cold, but then the quilt which is put on is

too heavy, and He asks that it be removed. He even pushes strongly

against it. His left leg is in pain, and he asks to be helped to pass

urine. Things go from bad to worse. He insists that all covers stay

off.

 

We get Upendra up again, but then, in addition, we have to rush for

Shastri-ji and get him up too. There are more devotees in the room

now too, since many are now getting up early in order to chant some

rounds before mongala aroti. In the middle of all this action, Srila

Prabhupada erupts with a very loud and distinct "Hare Krishna". At

that, Bavananda starts too chant out loud, but due to the attention

that he is giving Srila Prabhupada, he stops chanting a few minutes

later in order to concentrate on what he is doing for Srila

Prabhupada. At that, Srila Prabhupada again erupts with "Hare

Krishna!" and Bavananda chants even louder. Five minutes later,

another "Hare Krishna!" from Srila Prabhupada, and at that point

Upendra turns around to us and says, "You may all chant japa out

loud". Kaviraj takes the pulse, looks over Srila Prabhupada, and then

leaves. Srila Prabhupada becomes a little quieter. I leave at 4:15

A.M.

 

At 6:45 A.M. I re-enter the room. About 20 devotees are being led in

a nice kirtan by Satswarup Maharaj. Srila Prabhupada is now worse.

Now he has a cold, too. Now a cold on top of everything else. Srila

Prabhupada's sister arrives, dressed all in white, and goes to the

head of the bed to see her brother. She reaches out her hand to give

him a long, consoling touch.

 

She then proceeds to the foot of the bed, reaches under the covers,

and touches his feet before she leaves. At about 8:30 A.M. I leave

the room.

 

At about 9:00 P.M. I re-enter Srila Prabhupada's room. There are

about 15 to 20 devotees gathered around the bed including Kaviraj and

another elderly gentleman friend of Srila Prabhupada. Srila

Prabhupada is being massaged on one leg with looks like an oil of

some kind, and a compress is being applied to the other leg. He

doesn't seem to be doing well at all. Many devotees are staying and

not leaving to take rest. At about 10:30 P.M. He begins to sleep very

well. He is on his left side and sleeping silently. By 11:00 P.M.

there are only four disciples left in the room: Swarup Damodara,

Jagadisha Prabhu, a bramacari(who is reading under a lamp in the

corner), and myself. Swarup Damodara is sitting quietly in the corner

keeping an eye on Gurudev; Jagadish is seated quietly against the

wall; the bramacari is reading; I am chanting Hare Krishna. At this

point, the only sound in the room is Anantacarya whispering the Hare

Krishna Mantra.

 

The night is getting cold outside, and Swarup Damodara wants to stop

a cold draft which is coming in on Srila Prabhupada by way of a

French window near the bed; but it won't close. So I go outside and

push while Swarup Damodara pushes from the inside. Somehow or other

we manage to get it closed without waking up Gurudev.

 

Later on, at 11:40 P.M., Srila Prabhupada awakes and asks to be

rolled from his left side onto his back. Swarup Damodara helps him

roll over to His back, then gives Him his medicine, and then fixes

him up with the urinal. While He is being moved to his back, Srila

Prabhupada's feet become uncovered, so I go over and tuck in

Gurudev's lotus feet under the blankets.

 

Monday, 14 November, l977.

 

It is now 12:15 A.M. Gurudev is still sleeping soundly. Bavananda

shows up promply at 1:00 A.M., and he takes up his vigil in the chair

by the foot of the bed. At this point I take the opportunity to also

go over close to the bed so that I can be closer to Srila Prabhupada

while I chant the Maha Mantra very softly. For the next hour and a

half I stand right there, next to Gurudev, looking at his lovely head

and face. He is resting so nicely, and for that hour and a half, I

can't see anything else. I stand in one spot and meditate upon his

lotus face and head. Bavananda gets up and goes over to sit by the

far wall with some other devotees who have now begun to arrive in the

early morning hours. (It is now about 2:00 A.M.) So somehow or other

I am alone at the bed with Gurudev as I chant softly for Him.

 

Little do we suspect that this will be the last night that we will be

able to be with our spiritual master by his bedside.

 

It is now about 2:30 A.M. and, insofar as there are more devotees in

the room to keep Srila Prabhupad company, I depart from the room.

 

All Glories to our inconceivably merciful and infinitely wonderful

Spiritual Master!

 

At about 10:15 in the morning, I am passing by the windows of Srila

Prabhupada's room and hear a loud kirtan going on in the room. Due to

the strength of the kirtan I find myself thinking that now Srila

Prabhupada is feeling better, but shortly later one of the devotees

tells me that his condition is as critical as ever. Again at about

12:00 noon I pass the windows and the kirtan is still good and

strong. Prasadam today is at 1:15 P.M., and as we are taking

prasadam, a server walks into the center of the prasadam room and

says, "I don't know how many of you have already heard about it, but

Kaviraj has said that Srila Prabhupada has only five more hours in

his body". At that announcement I begin to gulp down the remaining

prasadam on my plate and then double time to Srila Prabhupa's room. I

am afraid that the room will be so packed that I will be too late to

get inside, but upon arriving, the room is about 1/3 filled with 25

to 30 devotees who are gathered close to the bed, chanting strongly.

Our Spiritual Master is in what looks like a coma: He is not moving:

His facial expression is like that of a trance. He is lying on his

back with his head tilted back and to the side. His lips are parted,

but there is no movement, and his eyelids are closed down tightly.

Gurudev's bed is a nice large bed.

 

It is sizeable enough that, even though Gurudev is lying in the

middle of it, there is plenty of room for several devotees to sit on

the bed along side of Him. Upendra, Bavananda Maharaj, and other

close disciples of Srila Prabhupada are seated on the bed. Caru das,

the president of the Berkeley Temple, is seated on the floor at the

foot of the bed, massaging Srila Prabhupada gently. Tears are coming

down his face as he gently strokes the legs and feet of his Spiritual

Master. Other devotees are crowding around all sides of the bed,

getting as close as they can, and singing kirtan continuously. All

Srila Prabhupada's personal servant's are in attendance and they have

worried looks on their faces(Bhakta Caru Maharaj, Upendra das,

Bavananda Maharaj, Swarup Damodara das). The room is starting to fill

up fast as the word gets around the Mandir about what Kaviraj has

said. Everybody is now pouring into the room to chant for Srila

Prabhupada---brahmacaris, matajis, children from the Gurukula,

Sannyasis, visitors,---everybody. Hamsadutta Maharaj sits on a corner

of the bed down by Srila Prabhupada's feet, and takes over the

kirtan. He leads the kirtan nicely and keeps up chanting the right

prayers(Pancha Tattva Maha Mantra, Hare Krishna, Samsara Dava). He

asks for a prayer book and then leads us in the complete set of

Govindam Prayers. We don't know all the words, of course, but he is

singing them, and then we all join in for the refrain(Govindam Adi

Purusam, Tam aham bajami---).

 

The room is now getting stuffy because so many devotees are packed

in. We open all the doors and windows and turn on the fans. More

people from outside the Mandir are now showing up. Srila Prabhupada's

sister is already here, seated on the floor next to the bed. For the

many hours to follow, she almost constantly remains close to him. No

matter what happens next, she will do her best to hobble along to be

with Srila Prabhupada. Some of Srila Prabhupada's elderly vaishnava

friends are arriving and a bench is brought in for them to sit on.

The room is jammed. Kirtan goes on without ceasing as Hamsadutta

leads us through the afternoon hours. The afternoon is filled with

devotees coming and going and chanting. Some of the elderly Vaishnava

gentlemen later on decide to leave, but the real frail short one

stays on, sitting politely on the bench and quietly chanting japa. A

real Vaishnava gentleman, chanting Hare Krishna continuously. Will I

ever, in this lifetime, be able to appreciate what a merciful

privilege it is---to be allowed to associate with the wonderful

Vaishnavas in this room?

 

At 5:00 P.M. Kaviraj arrives and proceeds to the bed. The devotees

crowd close. In no time he has searched for Srila Prabhupada's pulse,

but then reaches for his stesthoscope. He moves it around from point

to point on Srila Prabhupada's chest and midsection, and then says

something to Bhakta Cara Maharaj with a worried look. Only a handful

of devotees could actually hear what Kaviraj said, but somehow or

other the word is passed around--only 3 more hours, that's all.

Kaviraj asks that some of Srila Prabhupada's books be placed nicely

around his head on the pillows and some pictures of the Dieties also

be placed on the pillows at the head of the bed. The books are placed

nicely, and the diety pictures are now leaning against the pillows

and bedstead. There are also japa beads lying near his head. So his

lovely head and face are framed with some of his favorite

transcendental paraphernalia. It is so beautiful to see the head of

Gurudev surrounded that way.

 

By now it has sunk into us what is happening, and Pradyumna and

others have begun preparations for the Samadhi. There is talk of

palanquin, fresh saffron cloth, garlands, etc. Hamsadutta looks very

worried but keeps right on going with dedication and devotion. Srila

Prabhupada is now occasionally swallowing with his mouth closed. His

breathing is noticeable by the slight rise and fall of the sheet

which covers his frail body. He is given some kind of liquid by

Bhakta Caru, but I am too far away to see exactly what it is. From

5:00 to 6:00 P.M. I am appointed guard duty and sit in the vestibule.

People from the town are arriving, and I can't tell who to let in and

who to keep out. Everyone is extremely determined to see Srila

Prabhupada and beg to please be let into the room for one last

Darshan with him. At 6:00 P.M. I leave guard duty and re-enter the

room. Now even the Matajis are crowding right up to the bed in order

to be as close as possible to Srila Prabhupad. ISKCON photographers

are carefully taking photographs and motion picture films. As before,

may of us are crying. As for Bavananda, his eyes are continuously

filled with moisture. Upendra too. We are all pressing toward the bed

to see Gurudev. Now he is motionless again.

 

Kaviraj walks in at about 7:50 and goes to the bed. He bends over for

the pulse and we all push forward even more. I cannot see what is

going on, so I stand on a chair in the back of the room, but still I

cannot see Srila Prabhupad. But I can see Kaviraj, and instantly upon

checking for the pulse he says something swiftly like "finished" or

something to that effect.

 

He (or Tamal?) immediately gives the order for loud, loud chanting of

the of the Hare Krishna Maha Mantra. We all erupt with the Hare

Krishna Mantra with an almost hopeless frenzy. Now it really begins

to sink into us what has happened. Kaviraj has said that it's all

over. Many of us start sobbing. There are devotees frantically

chanting, crying, sobbing, breaking down completely. One boy goes

into a crying convulsion and has to be dragged to a corner where he

collapses in convulsive sobbing. Devotees are crying, sobbing,

chanting, and running in every direction. Tamal orders us to leave

the room. I go upstairs to cry alone. The night is filled with close

and distant sobbing, women wailing, bells ringing, and even the dogs

are barking and howling.

 

I go back downstairs about 3/4 of an hour later. No more matajis,

children, or visitors are present. The devotees in the room are now

the saffron clothed ones. Mostly leaders in the Hare Krishna

movement. Kirtan is continuing nicely. Srila Prabhupada has already

been clothed nicely in saffron, garlands of flowers are placed on

him, and a lovely bouquet of Tulasi manjaris is laid across his

chest. There is sandlewood pulp covering his forehead and a large

tulasi leaf fixed in the middle of his forehead.

 

His skin has now turned pale, but one look at that powerful face and

you know that whatever are the conditions, He is still the boss,

still the Spiritual Master. Saffron material is now covering his

form, and a saffron colored "swami" hat is covering his head. We

bring in the palanquin, and he is picked up from the bed by four or

five devotees and placed securely in the seat of the palanquin. Other

Vrndaban Vaishnavas now come back in, led by Narayana Maharaja. They

pay their heartfelt obeisances, and place flower garlands around

their beloved friend. They are clearly much affected by the departure

of Gurudev, and offer their most reverent obeisances to him. At this

point I am crying almost all the time.

 

Tamal Krishna states the plan for the next couple of hours: "The

palanquin will now leave for the Temple Room where Gurudev will see

the Dieties and an Arotik. Then a Gurupuja, an offering of flowers by

devotees, and then chanting until the samadhi is ready". The

palanquin containing Srila Prabhupada is lifted, and with strong

chanting is carried out of the room. Srila Prabhupada in his

palanquin is then taken around the around the outside of the Krishna-

Balaram Temple 3 times. Three times around the circumference of the

Temple Building with the devotees following and chanting. It is a

joyous, happy kirtan. Round and round the Temple with Srila

Prabhupada, and then he enters the temple as our transcendental

leader to see the dieties. First the palanquin is placed in front of

Gour-Nitai with the devotees singing joyously for their Gurudev. On

to Krishna-Balaram: and then to Radha-Krishna. The kirtan is strong

and jubilant. Then the palanquin is lifted and Srila Prabhupada is

taken around the inside of the Temple, then outside, and then re-

enters again and is placed before the Krishna-Balaram Dieties for

continued jubilant kirtan and dancing. The devotees are singing and

dancing and circumnambulating the palanquin. The devotees circle

close to the palanquin and drink in the nectar of close darshan with

Srila Prabhupada. We go around many times, circling closely. Now the

palanquin is lifted and proceeds to the Vyasasan where both palanquin

and Gurudev are placed right on and in the Vyasasan.

 

He is in his palanquin which is on the blue velvet asana, with lion

figures on both sides.

 

Gurupuja begins. Omkara dasa does the arotik while Hamsadutta leads

us in a rip-roaring kirtan. Really rip-roaring. After the Gurupuja,

we prepare for the offering of flowers (marigolds) to Srila

Prabhupada. The first devotees to offer flowers and obeisances to

Srila Prabhupada are: His sister; His Vrndaban friends; Tama Krishna

Maharaj; then Upendra; Pradyumna, the ISKCON swamis and Temple

Presidents. Some of the Gaudiya Math (?) offer garlands of flowers

and decorative spiritual paraphernalia.

 

We offer the marigolds by circling motions and then shower them on

Srila Prabhupada. Then each devotee (after offering his flowers)

prostrates himself before the Vyasasan. While this is going on,

Narayana Maharaj leads us in a very, very nice kirtan. He is leading

us so very, very nicely, and from his leading chant, one can

appreciate how much he is devoted to Srila Prabhupada. After the men

have offered flowers and obeisances, then the matajis offer. At the

end, Tamal announces that the townspeople of Vrndaban have requested

to please let them have darshan once more with Srila Prabhupada, so

now instead of proceding directly to the samadhi, Srila Prabhupada

will wait in the Vyasasana during the night and then proceed to the

seven temples of Vrndaban in the morning. After the parikram of

Vrndabn in the morning, He will return for samadhi. We are ordered by

Tamal to stay up all night with Gurudev for continuous kirtan. Srila

Prabhupada is now being fanned by camara while the kirtan goes on.

 

IT IS NOW 12:30 A.M., 15 NOVEMBER 1977.

 

The kirtan goes on, and the nightime is beginning to get very cold.

By 1:30 A.M. the population in the temple room is beginning to thin

out and there are only a few of us who are actually doing kirtan.

There are about 20 to 30 devotees in the temple room, but many are

chanting japa. I am beginning to get tired myself, so I quickly dash

upstairs for a cold shower and then dash back to the kirtan. At about

2:00 A.M. the air has become penetratingly cold. Four or five of the

younger "Indian" ISKCON devotees and myself are now clustered

together up close to the Vyasasan in order to keep the kirtan going

strong. Also up by the Vyasasan are two of the older

dedicated "Indian" devotees who refuse to leave Srila Prabhupada even

though they can hardly stay awake, and no matter how cold it gets.

The little frail one sits motionless in front of the Vyasasan with

only a chowda wrapped around his shoulders. Pradyumna sits with us

and chants on his japa beads. He is looking quite worn out, but stays

with Srila Prabhupada. The "Indian" ISKCON devotees lead the kirtan

and keep it going nicely. Also, there are a few matajis in the rear

of the temple room, chanting japa.

 

Viraha Prakash Maharaj is now standing at attention by the side of

the Vyasasan steps. About 3:00 A.M. I am asked to fan Srila

Prabhupada with one of the Camaras. I step up next to the palanquin

at Srila Prabhupada's right side and relish every moment of being

able to whisk Srila Prabhupada. I am talking to him silently, and the

tears won't stop rolling down my face. It is just dark enough that

the devotees (I hope) cannot see that I am crying.

 

Srila Prabhupada is so kind that even though he finally decides to

leave us, he still mercifully stays with us for an extra night so

that we may have one last chance to see His Divine Form, chant kirtan

for him, and whisk him with the Camara. By 4:30 many of the devotees

are beginning to return to the temple room. Srila Prabhupada's sister

also returns at this time and politely sits on the floor near the

vyasasan. She obviously wants to sit even closer to Srila Prabhupada

(on the mats up front with us) but this carpet is filled with male

devotees, so she humbly sits down over to the side on the cold floor,

next to one of the pillars. At this point the women come forward and

offer incense to Srila Prabhupada. At 4:45 I volunteer to whisk

Gurudev again, and take the left side this time. How nice it is to be

able to fan Him during his last hours with us.

 

By 5:00 A.M. everyone is back. As mongol arotik starts a little

later, many devotees turn their backs to Srila Prabhupada in order to

pay prostrated obeisances to the Dieties. Narayana Maharaj and his

associates remain motionless and do not budge. In no time at all,

Narayana Maharaj is laying it on the line to Gopal Krishna Das---the

devotees are to stay at the Vyasasan facing Srila Prabhupada, and

there is to be a simultaneous arotik for Srila Prabhupada at the

Vyasasan while the arotik also goes on for the Dieties. Gopal Krishna

quickly gets everything arranged nicely, and a nice arotik is held at

each of the three altars plus at the Vyasasan. Narayana Maharaj leads

the kirtan and winds up everything with repeated and resounding "Jaya

Gurudevas", one after another. Afterward, there also is an arotik for

Tulasi Devi.

 

The Parikram begins at about 6:45 A.M., and the palanquin is lifted

from the Vyasasan and carried to the center of the courtyard of the

templeroom where we circumnambulate Srila Prabhupada with more

chanting, of course. We then proceed through the front gate of the

Mandir, down the road to Vrndaban, and parikram to each of the (7)?

Temples of Vrndaban.

 

Narayana Maharaj is arranging everything nicely, leading the

procession, leading the kirtan, and seeing with great attention that

everything goes along perfectly for our Gurudev. Narayana Maharaj is

now conducting the parikram, acting on our behalf as our very capable

leader, and seeing to it that everything is conducted nicely for

Srila Prabhupada. For the next 6 hours, he is indefatigable, watching

everything, and continuously providing the devoted and competent

leadership needed so that all the details of the parikram and samadhi

are executed perfectly.

 

It certainly is quite an impressive procession as it moves along down

the road. The procession actually consists of two parts. First, there

is a large group of devotees consisting of Narayana Maharaj and most

of the Sannyasis (and others, too). This group leads the procession

and also leads the strong kirtan. Then there is a gap of about 20

yards to the next group which consists of the Palanquin with Srila

Prabhupada, the palanquin bearers, close attendants, devotees, and

others. Immediately following this group are the matajis, and then

several rickshas carrying Srila Prabhupada's Sister and some of the

children from the Gurukul. There are eleven dandas gliding through

the air. When one looks toward the palanquin, he usually sees

Citsukananda bearing the load up front and Vishnu Tattva Das

supporting the rear of the palanquin. Although they are from time to

time temporarily relieved, these two boys are seen carrying the heavy

palanquin for most of the procession. And it is indeed heavy. Some

boys who try to carry it cannot even get the carrying bar up to their

shoulder so that it can move, and, as a result, are not able to share

in this mercy. For the entire procession, Bavananda Maharaj is

inseparable from Srila Prabhupada's side.

 

Tamal Krishna is also there at the palanquin, taking part of this

part of the procession and giving the directions and leadership to

the second group of devotees. From time to time the going gets a

little rough. At this, there is anxiety written all over Upendra's

face, because there isn't much that he can do about it. Nevertheless,

Srila Prabhupada and his devotees sail through the streets of

Vrndaban. The streets are lined with people shouting "Hari

Bol!Hare Krishna!Jai Gurudev!". Families are coming out on the

rooftops to see the procession, and the townsfolk of Vrndaban, young

and old, are paying standing obeisances to Srila Prabhupada. We stop

in front of each of the Temples and there are resounding "Jai

Gurudev"s.

 

At one point on the road (not to far from the mandir) there is a

young woman standing at the side of the road watching the procession

go by. After the last devotee walks by, her eyes begin to get wide,

and they light up with amazement and veneration. She follows the

procession down the road with her eyes, and then turns and walks to

the center of the road. She bends down, and with hands outstretched,

palms down, she rubs her hands in a circular motion in the dust.

Lifting her hands she then, again in a circular motion, smears the

dust of the lotus feet of the Vaishnavas all over her cheeks. At that

point, with eyes still as wide as large coins, she beams with a

smile, and with that smile radiates to us that she understands that

it is not everyday at 7:30 in the morning that a person gets a chance

like this!!!!! A little farther down the road, another young woman,

dressed in the finest of exquisite garments, steps from her house

into the street ditch in order to see the palanquin go by. When she

recognizes who is in the palanquin, then, regardless of the finery

she is wearing, she immediately bends her knees into the gutter,

brings her head and arms to the ground, and pays obeisances to Srila

Prabhupada. How is it possible to keep from crying when one sees just

how much Srila Prabhupada is loved and revered by everybody.

 

We return to the Mandir, and the samadhi begins immediately. Srila

Prabhupada has a bathing ceremony, a change of garments, flower

garlands, puja offering, prasadam offering, and is finally covered

with salt and then sand. It is a lengthy and beautiful ceremony, and

does not terminate until 1:00 P.M. in the afternoon. The temple bell

is ringing continuously, and the kirtan goes on without interruption.

At about 1:00 P.M. the samadhi ceremony ends, and the devotees take

Prasadam.

 

These pages began as a diary---but somehow or other turned into

something like a partial report of some of the details of the past

few days.

 

In consequence, even though it is clear that I am certainly not

competent to write about those events, I am begging the mercy of our

Gurudev and the Disciplic Succession to allow me to write down as a

diary this little bit of information for those devotees who were not

able to be with their Spiritual Master during his last days with us.

Please, Srila Prabhupada, forgive my offenses. It is only by your

mercy that I can possibly do anything. You have given me so much, and

I have given you so little.

 

Namah Om Vishnupadaya Krishna Presthaya bhutale, Srimate

Bhaktivedanta Swamin iti namine.

 

Namaste Saraswati Deve Gauravani pracarine, Nirvisesa sunyavadi

pascatya desatarine.

 

Anantacarya Das.

 

Krishna-Balaram Mandir, Vrndaban, India.

 

17 November, 1977.

 

Author's e-mail address is: nectarcup