Marriage in Hindu tradition

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Marriage in Hindu tradition

 

You're my Laxmi, I'm your Narayana, Come, let us marry!

 

DR JAGADISH SHARMA

 

KANYADAN

 

Kanyadan is the ceremony in which the rite of marriage is actually

solemnized. At Kanyadan, the bridegroom is offered the Madhuparka

worship. It should be noted that the Madhuparka worship is indicative

of the highest honor that can possibly be accorded to human beings.

Madhuparka worship is accorded only to five categories of people and

even this no more than one time a year: Guru who solemnizes the

Bratabandha, scholar who has been invited to perform a Yagya, the

bridegroom, the King, dearest friend and the student who has just

graduated. During the Madhuparka worship, the bridegroom is viewed as

Narayana (Lord Vishnu) and the bride as Lakshmi (Lord Vishnu's

consort).

 

After the Madhuparka worship is completed, the bride is given away in

marriage. The bride's father holds the thumb of the bride and puts it

in the right hand of the bridegroom who is waiting for it all along

with his arm extended and palm open. When the thumb of the bride is

placed on the bridegroom's hand, the latter holds that thumb and

continues to do so until the specific rite is completed. Holy mantras

are chanted and the pieces of cloths which are attached to the waists

of the couple are then tightly tied and knotted. The entire ceremony

lends a solemn and romantic air.

 

The following dialogue that takes place during Kanyadan is of special

importance.

 

Bridegroom: (To the bride's father) I am as bright among my equals as

the sun is among the stars. I can conquer those who want to fight me.

 

(To the bride presenting gifts) Oh dear lady, please accept these

gifts and look beautiful. Please treat my wealth and descendants as

you see fit. Live a life of one hundred years and grow old with me.

 

(After the bride accepts the presents, while wrapping the bride with

a shawl around her shoulders) I pray to the Goddesses who made the

threads, synchronized them and wove them as this shawl to bless you

with a long life and protect you till you are very old.

 

Bride's father (addressing the two) – Look at each other with love

and figure out who among the two of you is more attractive and

beautiful.

 

Bridegroom (face to face with the bride) –May the almighty Lord of

this universe unite the two hearts of ours and make them complete.

 

(After accepting the bride given away to him by the bride's father)

 

Who is presenting this?

 

Bride's father: The will.

 

Bridegroom: To whom?

 

Bride's father: To will. Taking, giving, and being given away are all

nothing but acts of will. I have given you my daughter. You shall not

enjoy any more right than she does especially in the fields of

religion, wealth and human passion.

 

Bridegroom: No, I shall not.

 

(The Bridegroom walks along with the bride, and while walking, they

look at each other).

 

(To the Bride who is looking at him lovingly) Your glance is sweet

and gentle. Be good to me and remain cheerful. Bloom with honour and

bear fruit. Be brave and give birth to the brave ones. Comfort the

two-and four-legged ones. All my desires are now vested in you. Find

enjoyment with me and allow me to find enjoyment with you.

 

The Priest: Pray the bride shall have a long and happy life, shall

always enjoy the love and cohabitation of her husband, shall give

birth to healthy children and shall enjoy happiness from those

children.

 

The Bridegroom: Oh Agni! (fire), let all our activities be

successful; let us achieve the glories of this world, lead us to good

paths, give us a bright and honourable life. Let death stay at a

distance from us.

 

Oh death, stay away from our divine path and do not victimize our

descendants.

 

The Bride: The fire is my witness. My relations with my parents and

the family I was born with must never be cut off and my husband must

never desert me. I am stating this in front of this fire. Let my

husband have a long life and let my friends and relatives lead a life

of prosperity and happiness.

 

(To her husband) Oh my husband, I am offering this worship for your

prosperity. Let this fire continue to be a witness to all those

things which may have mutual interest to us.

 

SAPTAPADI

 

The literal meaning of the word Saptapadi is seven steps. In Hindu

culture, close friendship based on equality is effected after taking

seven steps together and after talking to each other on seven

different subjects. The bride and bridegroom also take seven steps

together and converse seven times in order to become inseparable

friends with equal rights and duties toward each other.

 

Bridegroom: Firstly, may Lord Vishnu always keep us together for our

livelihood.

 

(The two take their first step forward)

 

Secondly, may Lord Vishnu always keep us together for the development

of our respective strength and capabilities.

 

(Second Step)

 

Thirdly, let us always remain together for our enrichment and

prosperity.

 

(Third step)

 

Fourthly, let us always remain together for our comfort and happiness.

 

(Fourth step)

 

Fifthly, may Lord Vishnu always keep us together for the protection

and development of our cattle and other domestic animals.

 

(Fifth step)

 

Sixthly, may Lord Vishnu keep us together in all seasons, happiness

and sorrow.

 

(Sixth step)

 

Seventhly, let us always assist each other in our work and duties.

 

(The bride and bridegroom take their last and final step forward and

walk together).

 

Bridegroom: For the sake of good and prosperity, I hold this hand of

yours. You shall grow old with me. All the Gods and Goddesses have

gifted you to me as the Mistress of my household. I am what you are.

And, you are what I am. You are the Lakshmi and I am the Narayana.

You are the song and I am the rhythm. Come, let us marry. Let us have

sex only together; let us have children; let us have many sons; let

our children live long lives. Let us live a life of one hundred years

full of love, strength and emotions.

 

BADHUPRABESH

 

Badhuprabesh is the ceremony in which the bride is escorted to her

husband's home. As the bridegroom is about escort his wife into the

house, his relatives jovially come in his way and try to prevent him

from doing this. The bridegroom then promises to bestow all kinds of

favours and finally succeeds in getting their consent. This is all

part of the social merriment in a Hindu marriage

ceremony.

 

The bridegroom's mother comes forward in her finest clothes and

escorts the bride to the treasure room. They try to collect and

acquire as much grains and money as they possibly can. There is a

competition between the two. The one who gets more is considered

victorious. This is a moment of merrymaking. The two women finally

help each other in storing the treasures they have managed to

acquire. The mother-in –law shows the bride her entire treasure and

gives her its keys. This is an entirely Nepali tradition developed

over the years with a purpose to create intimacy, confidence and

trust in each other. This tradition is also symbolic of the

responsibility the two women mutually hold toward their common

household.

 

To sum up, a Hindu marriage ceremony is a social institution that is

performed not just for show but also for upholding a tradition that

is full of awe-some responsibilities to be borne by the newly married

couple.

 

 

(This article is based upon late Badagurujyu Shree Ambika Prasad

Adhikari's Vaidic Bibaha Vidhi: Ek Parichaya.)