Fw: kali yuga humor

[Guest guest]

>The System > >DEMOCRAT >You have two cows. >Your neighbor has none. >You feel

guilty for being successful. >Barbara Streisand sings for you. > >REPUBLICAN

>You have two cows. >Your neighbor has none. >So? > >SOCIALIST >You have two

cows. >The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. >You form a

cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. > >COMMUNIST >You have two cows.

>The government seizes both and provides you with milk. >You wait in line for

hours to get it. >It is expensive and sour. > >CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE >You

have two cows. >You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. >

>DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE >You have two cows. >The government taxes you to the

point you have to sell both to >support a man in a foreign country who has only

one cow, which was >a gift from your government. > >BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

>You have two cows. >The government takes them both, shoots one, >milks the

other, pays you for the milk, and then >pours the milk down the drain. >

>AMERICAN CORPORATION >You have two cows. >You sell one, lease it back to

yourself and do an >IPO on the 2nd one. >You force the two cows to produce the

milk of four >cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. >You spin an

announcement to the analysts stating you have >downsized and are reducing

expenses. >Your stock goes up. > >FRENCH CORPORATION >You have two cows. >You

go on strike because you want three cows. >You go to lunch and drink wine.

>Life is good. > >JAPANESE CORPORATION >You have two cows. >You redesign them

so they are one-tenth the >size of an ordinary >cow and produce twenty times

the milk. >They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. >Most are at

the top of their class at cow school. > >GERMAN CORPORATION >You have two cows.

>You engineer them so they are all blond, >drink lots of beer, give >excellent

quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. >Unfortunately, they also demand

13 weeks of vacation per year. > >ITALIAN CORPORATION >You have two cows but you

don't know where they are. >While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.

>You break for lunch. >Life is good. > >RUSSIAN CORPORATION >You have two cows.

>You have some vodka. >You count them and learn you have five cows. >You have

some more vodka. >You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. >The Mafia

shows up and takes over however >many cows you really have. > >TALIBAN

CORPORATION >You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. >You don't

milk them because you cannot touch >any creature's private parts. >Then you

kill them and claim a US bomb blew >them up while they were in the hospital. >

>IRAQIAN CORPORATION >You have two cows. >They go in hiding. >They send radio

tapes of their mooing. > >POLISH CORPORATION >You have two bulls. >Employees

are regularly maimed and killed >attempting to milk them. > >FLORIDA

CORPORATION >You have a black cow and a brown cow. >Everyone votes for the best

looking one. >Some of the people who like the brown one best, >vote for the

black one. >Some people vote for both. >Some people vote for neither. >Some

people can't figure out how to vote at all. >Finally, a bunch of guys from

out-of-state tell >you which is the best-looking cow. > > >CALIFORNIA HAPPY

COWS >Crowd herd of happy fun loving cows into a small dirt lot. >Feed cows

weeds. >Hire Hollywood to show commercial of HAPPY COWS in >green pastures.

>Smoke weed left over from cow feeding. >Make millions selling "HAPPY MILK."