Fw: fun stuff

[Guest guest]

> > > SWAMI BEYONDANANDA'S GUIDELINES FOR ENLIGHTENMENT

> > >

> > > 1. Be a Fundamentalist--make sure the Fun always comes before the

> mental.

> > > Realise that life is a situation comedy that will never be cancelled.

A

> > > laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are put in the

> > material

> > > world is to get more material. Have a good laugh-sitive twice a day,

> and

> > > that will ensure regular-hilarity.

> > >

> > > 2. Remember that each of us has been given a special gift, just for

> > > entering--so you are already a winner.

> > >

> > > 3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That

is

> > > where I tell a vision to you and you tell a vision to me. That way, if

> we

> > > don't like the programming we're getting, we can simply change the

> > channel.

> > >

> > > 4. Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop. And, no

> > matter

> > > what adversity you face, be reassured: Of course God loves you--He's

> just

> > > not ready to make a commitment.

> > >

> > > 5. It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought

> > > particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition

> called

> > > truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And when

> you're

> > > tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in Swami's

> > > Absurdiveness Training class: "Don't get even, get odd."

> > >

> > > 6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly

> > live

> > > like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That way,

> > > there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with each

> of

> > > us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all the

> peaces

> > > will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.

> > >

> > > 7. I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so

if

> > > you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my

> > > advice is simple. When you find a fault, just don't dwell on it.

> > >

> > > 8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet

> train

> > > the world, and we'll never have to change it again.

> > >

> > > 9. If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad

> > news

> > > and some good news. The bad news

> > > is---there is no key to the Universe. The good news is--it has been

> left

> > > unlocked.

> > >

> > > 10. Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That way, if you

> > don't

> > > like it, it's not my fault. And

> > > remember, enlightenment is not a bureaucracy. So, we don't have to go

> > > through channels.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > COUNT ON YOGI AKAL

> > > Telephone (Toll-Free, USA/CANADA): 1-888-966-6902

> > > International Page: 1-601-960-9547

> > > Postal: Akar Jantri International, P. O. Box 146, Tuckahoe, NY, USA

> > 10707

> > > Web Sites: www.NumberNet.com & www.YogaGuy.com