emotional upset

[Guest guest]

Greetings to all!!!

 

I followed the thread concerning Devta`s emotional upset with particular

interest, as I could personally feel with her as I suffered a similar

occurance with my sister in law. Because of particular beliefs I had about

family & family ties this became a real conflict within me as I was "trying "

to have a "sincere " relationship with a person whom I could feel no warmth

toward. I see now that the best I could have done & which I did do, was give

her the space and myself also that we can each be ourselves. We live in the

same house and it proved particularly difficult in the beginning to distance

myself from her verbal attacks which always left me in tears. & emotionaly

distraught for days afterward. Me emotions ran away with me and I could not

concentrate on other aspects of my life as this always seemed to take up most

of my time. What I have done is been honest with myself as to the fact that

she rubbed me up the wrong way continually and I had to be the one to change

my feelings --- I did so and due to my a meditating and practicing peace

within myself I have been able to discipline my feelings & emotions so that I

can think before I allow myself to feel.I have realsied also that I can

contain those same feelings without them running off before I had time to

contemplate my reactions. Sadly I came to realise that I was feeling " bad"

not being able to relate to her & she not to me but I have come to respect

her as a seperate pesrson with her own life to live and we must not a have

sincere and close relationship simply because we are related family. Her

reactions toward my wishes to be close was also the very first time in my

life that I experienced such rejection and was confronted with a completely

new situation. I continually "tried " to make something out of our times

together but this was wasted time as two people can only relate to each other

when both have this need. That is simply the way I saw this situation. I have

since forgiven her within myself for what I felt during that time and have

since moved on in my life. After learning to keep my emotional body within

myself I found it easier and easier to handle my arousing emotions.I often

wished that I could flee such situatuions but that would mean that every time

somebody said or did something which affected my emotions I would have to

continually be on the move. So I decided this time to work with my feelings

and become more aware of the patterns that she was touching within me. I have

since let her go and be her own self and I appreciate the lesson that I was

taught by her behaviour toward me .That is the way I have chosen to see the

situation I was in. I am glad though that Devta had the courage to write

about this as it has helped me understand my own self better Thanks .

 

in peace

ingrid