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New Element Discovered!

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[We the People] Governmentium (GV) a new element

 

 

> ~~for educational purposes only~~

>

> Governmentium (GV) a new element

> Edward C. Barile

>

> The fire at Los Alamos has one significant consequence. A secret

 

> scientific document was discovered in a bunker whose security

systems

> were mostly destroyed by the fire. This document was leaked to

the

> public last weekend.

>

> Actually it reveals nothing that we didn't already suspect. But

it

does

> show that the government has known all along that besides

arsenic,

lead,

> mercury, radon, strontium and plutonium, one more extremely

deadly

and

> pervasive element also exists.

>

> Investigators at a major research institution have discovered

the

> heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery

has

been

> tentatively named Governmentium (Gv) but kept top secret for 50

years.

> This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an

atomic

> number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 deputy

neutrons,

75

> supervisory neutrons, and 111 team leader neutrons, giving it an

 

atomic

> mass of 312.

>

> These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons,

which

> are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles

called

peons.

> Since it has no electrons, Governmentium is inert. However, it

can

be

> detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into

contact.

>

> According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Governmentium

causes

> one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would

normally

> take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of

 

> approximately three years; it does not decay but instead

undergoes a

> reorganization in which a portion of the deputy neutrons,

supervisory

> neutrons, and team leader neutrons exchange places. In fact,

> Governmentium sample's mass will actually increase over time,

since

> with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become

neutrons,

> forming new isotopes.

>

> This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to

> speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a

certain

> quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is

referred to

as

> the "Critical Morass."

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