Guest guest Posted July 10, 2000 Report Share Posted July 10, 2000 [We the People] Governmentium (GV) a new element > ~~for educational purposes only~~ > > Governmentium (GV) a new element > Edward C. Barile > > The fire at Los Alamos has one significant consequence. A secret > scientific document was discovered in a bunker whose security systems > were mostly destroyed by the fire. This document was leaked to the > public last weekend. > > Actually it reveals nothing that we didn't already suspect. But it does > show that the government has known all along that besides arsenic, lead, > mercury, radon, strontium and plutonium, one more extremely deadly and > pervasive element also exists. > > Investigators at a major research institution have discovered the > heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been > tentatively named Governmentium (Gv) but kept top secret for 50 years. > This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic > number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 deputy neutrons, 75 > supervisory neutrons, and 111 team leader neutrons, giving it an atomic > mass of 312. > > These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which > are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. > Since it has no electrons, Governmentium is inert. However, it can be > detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. > > According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Governmentium causes > one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally > take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of > approximately three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a > reorganization in which a portion of the deputy neutrons, supervisory > neutrons, and team leader neutrons exchange places. In fact, > Governmentium sample's mass will actually increase over time, since > with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, > forming new isotopes. > > This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to > speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain > quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as > the "Critical Morass." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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