inner conflict

[Guest guest]

Dear Kelly,

 

it seems that I am fighting this inner battle with myself. Strange thing is,

I don't know what I'm fighting with myself about. That is exactly how it

feels... an inner battle

for.......??? It's almost as if my body is saying.. what are you

doing...you should going in this direction.. but my rational thought keeps

me where I am.

 

It's really frustrating not to know why this is going on. It's as if I've

put a gag on my heart and now I can't hear what she's saying.

 

man....I'm really depressing myself!!

 

Actually, this is very common, but most are not in touch with the duality or

live in denial.

 

Culitvate a relationship with your body, the sensations and the feelings in

your body. Treat your body like a loved pet. May seem funny, but the body

is very primal and does not related to rationality. The body and emotions

are our feminine aspect. The spirit and our mind our the masculine aspect.

Sounds like the feminine needs attention.

 

Also learn to listen to your heart by feeling the heart in the body. You

know you are in your heart when there is no discussion. If there is a

conversation you are in your head.

 

You can do it. Let us know.

 

Sat Nam,

 

Gururattan Kaur

[Guest guest]

Dear friends:

 

> Culitvate a relationship with your body, the sensations and the

feelings in your body. Treat your body like a loved pet. May seem

>funny, but the body is very primal and does not related to

>rationality. The body and emotions are our feminine aspect. The

>spirit and our mind our the masculine aspect. Sounds like the

>feminine needs attention.

 

This commentary really clicked in for me this morning. I was brought

up in a way that is probably quite familiar to people in this

culture, especially to men - at worst, to suppress emotions, at best,

to intellectualize them, which is really just a way to distance

ourselves from how we feel, if not deny it entirely.

 

As I'm sure everyone knows, I just lost a very beloved pet. This is

scarcely the first death in my life - pets, grandparents, father, a

best friend, and other friends as well. But this is different in a

very interesting way, one which I can only attribute to my practice

of yoga/meditation, which wasn't so much a part of my life in

previous similar circumstances.

 

This time, I notice, I am simply allowing myself to feel what I

feel. I'm not putting labels on my feelings or finding ways to

ignore them. This hurts more, no question about that, but it is also

better in ways that I'm not able to describe well - but I can tell

that it is. For one thing, I have always had a tendency to live in

my head. I have been afraid to be fully in my body, fearful of those

difficult feelings and sensations that I knew were there. This time,

I'm not staying safely locked away in my mind. This isn't easy or

comfortable, but it is good, and it is helpful, and without the yoga

& meditation, I wouldn't have the strength and confidence to do it.

 

Again, I want to thank everyone for the love and support that you

have directed my way.

 

Much love,

Sadhant