Guest guest Posted July 7, 2001 Report Share Posted July 7, 2001 Dear Sadhant Singh, I want to thank you for taking your time to write me such an informative and unlifting email. I think joining this group is one of the best things that I have done. I am going to do the exercises you suggested and also meditate much more than I have been. For me it has been all about fear of losing control (from an ego perspective) and wanting to surrender to the truth but nevertheless being paralized by intense terror. (of the kundalini and knowing probably unconciously that if I cooperate things can never be the same) The strangest and most disturbing part of all of what I have been going through is the fact that everything I decide to do on a positive level there is another part of me pulling the exact opposite direction. Many times I just do nothing because of the anxiety I feel either way. What has caused me grief among other things this whole time is the fact that I was pulling away from God and I didn't want to but did nevertheless. Confusion, frustration, and a sense of helplessness overcame me for awhile but deep inside I knew (or know) that I will overcome because ultimately I love and have faith in God. (no matter how my behavior contradicts this) and my only solace is that God knows who I really am and if I seem to be rebellious or care less God knows more than me even-- that this is not my hearts desire--. I need to get a hold in a peaceful and gentle manner of my unconcious processes and you have helped me see that I am not unable to do this with more effort and courage. I think the water retention is from the second chakra and possibly and imbalance? I don't and have not for many years eaten salt added to my food or eaten high sodium processed foods. Sometimes I feel I have nutrition deficiencies and that my body is not the same as it used to be before the kundalini experience. I am 28 years old and I read somewhere that your body changes completely in 7 year cycles. I don't know but if I just meditate and do more yoga I will probably tune my self in to the answers. Thank you again, and I really do appreciate your help. michelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2001 Report Share Posted July 7, 2001 Dear Michelle, >What has caused me grief > among other things this whole time is the fact that I was pulling away from > God and I didn't want to but did nevertheless. There is one thing you should know: God loves you, the way you are. How can you be sure? Because He gave you the opportunity to be here, and to come back to Him. His love only is what draws and keeps people on the spiritual path, and the paths may be many but the destination is the same. God can't NOT love you, because you and Him are one, and have always been one, and will always be one. This is the big open secret of yoga and spirituality. You may not believe this now, and that is fine. But just remember it as a possibility. My teacher said that since this - the experience of total union - is what you will experience in the end, why not know it from the beginning? About the terror of change... Yes, life will never be the same once you set out on the spiritual path. But don't even think it is YOU who are terrorized! It is your ego, and your bad tendencies who are so afraid. What will happen to them if your behaviour becomes perfect : )? You are not your ego, and you are not your feelings, and you are not your mind. You are a flame of divine love. Maybe you can't see this, but others can. There is something so strong inside you that longs for the spiritual - it longs for home. This is who you are. If the ego makes noise, let it. This is what it is supposed to do. It is said that you need to have a lot of good karma and the touch of divine grace to start on the spiritual path. Most people are still content to live in the world and do not look for anything further. It is the few blessed ones who hear the call to come home, to the place of perfection, the place of love, the place of eternal bliss. No matter how hard things may seem, remember that you have been blessed to be here. Remember that you have God's love, and He is calling you back. As Rumi said - "Lo, I am with you always" means when you look for God, God is in the look of your eyes, in the thought of looking, nearer to you than your self, or things that have happened to you There's no need to go outside." Many blessings, Satsang Kaur Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2001 Report Share Posted July 7, 2001 Dear Satsang Kaur, I want to sincerely thank you for that beautiful and encouraging letter. Sometimes hearing the truth through the words of another and especially words of compassion and wisdom, can make all the difference. I have felt alone in many ways and knowing that there are other people who don't find it so unusual that I have vowed to make my relationship and committment to God my number one focus in life is quite a breakthrough. Your email has given me new hope and energy and has reminded me of what love really means...I have a little plaque next to my bed that says, "Love is patient" and since God is Love I guess I am alright after all! truly grateful, michelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2001 Report Share Posted July 8, 2001 Dear Michele and everyone else, Attune to cycles and do what is appropriate during those cycles. They are for example the seasons, night and day, the moon and other astrological influences. During the feminine energies it is most appropriate to meditate and relax. During the masculine energies we feel like taking action and being more active. My next KYTraining lesson is on surrender. It will cover some of your questions on how to accomplish that. It will be out in about 2 weeks. Sat Nam, Gururattan Kaur Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2001 Report Share Posted July 8, 2001 Dear Michelle, Reading your messages made me think a lot. I am 26 now (27 by the end of this month) and suffer from anxiety and depression. I wanted to share with you that the path is not easy but it is not imposible. I still have my downs after two years of intense battle-but I think everyone have those-. Kundalini Yoga gave me (gives me) faith and hope when I thought there wasn't any other possibility for me; it connects me with my inner power and with God. It has helped me manage my days without antidepressants, and it has made me discover my real self and power to accomplish things I never dare doing before. As you mentioned, it is scary to think we won't be the same, I felt that way too, but think about all the positive things that will come to your life with the change. I see it now as an evolution. The most amazing part of it all is that no matter what we decide, or how many times we stumble, God is always present within us. Sat Nam, Karem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2001 Report Share Posted July 9, 2001 Dear Michelle/Karem : I have suffered from anxiety since I was young, I'm 48 now, married with 3 young sons, I started searching and doing spiritual practices 10 years ago because always felt that had things unresolved in my inside. I have 6 months since I found KY and joined to this list, and believe me, I'm becoming friend of my anxiety, I don't feel it like an enemy (as I used to), I don´t mean that I like it, but I accept it as a response of unresolved issues. This group has been for so far, an incredible support for me, I've received more than I ever expected, I feel that in the last 10 years I was sailing on small rivers, and now I've arrived to the Sea. Much Light & Peace Carlos Reading your messages made me think a lot. I am 26 now (27 by the end of this month) and suffer from anxiety and depression. I wanted to share with you that the path is not easy but it is not imposible. I still have my downs after two years of intense battle-but I think everyone have those-. Kundalini Yoga gave me (gives me) faith and hope when I thought there wasn't any other possibility for me; it connects me with my inner power and with God. It has helped me manage my days without antidepressants, and it has made me discover my real self and power to accomplish things I never dare doing before. As you mentioned, it is scary to think we won't be the same, I felt that way too, but think about all the positive things that will come to your life with the change. I see it now as an evolution. The most amazing part of it all is that no matter what we decide, or how many times we stumble, God is always present within us. Sat Nam, > > Get personalized email addresses from Mail http://personal.mail./ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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