Guest guest Posted October 6, 2001 Report Share Posted October 6, 2001 Melanie, It can be a challenge to change a relationship dynamic that is already established. I highly recommend the books of Melody Beattie, author of Co-Dependant No More. I learned some skills from her books that have helped me deal with the controlling people in my life that I do love and do not want to sever relationships with. I love the mantra 'Sat Nam' because it means 'Truth is my Identity'. I think it is important to remember when you are around controlling people that everyone has a piece of the truth (including you!). I found that transforming my relationships with controlling people required a level of honesty that I was initially (and still am but it gets easier) uncomfortable with but it has improved my relationships in the long run. The truth will set you free! Remaining positive while maintaining clear boundaries around your personal integrity can work miracles. I like the phrase, "Thank you so much for your suggestion" you acknowledge the other person in a positive way but then inform them that in fact you personally would prefer mustard instead of mayonnaise on your sandwich or whatever, your truth. It may shock them at first. Controlling people usually need reassurance. I have found that if you can say positive things to them that you genuinely feel they loosen up the tight grip. Also, working the third chakra strengthens your own will. Leaving is not always the answer but its OK to take a break now and then. Hope this helps. SAAAAAAAAAAAAAT NAM Peggy Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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