letting go of old thoughts

[Guest guest]

For`Siri Devta Kaur,

I too have been dealing with a religious situation w/ family my whole life. I

was raised in a Baptist and Methodist environment smack in the center of the

Bible Belt. I was seriously taught to fear God. Fear damnation, feel

unworthy, to felt like a bad person constantly by what was said in church - I

couldn't connect to what I was so afraid of.

 

I began to quietly disagree with everything my Sunday school teacher would

say, I just turned to a different light- I thought if God loves his children

so much and is so forgiving then why is he so strict that they can't even

learn by mistake- it just snapped-this is total fear power! this is not what

God should feel like, if God is love then there is no fear-all of this is

weird and contradicting! (around age 11) and from that point on I began to

grow spiritually different in a quiet space inside myself that I never felt

able to show to anybody.

(I had personal secrets and lies to hide mt true self- learn to make the

quick get-away!)

 

I gradually broke away from all churches, When I went away to college- I

adapted a personal at home natural relationship with God turning to my Native

American roots. It was a constant argument with my parents. They didn't

understand that I felt God without church- they argued with the truth that I

felt. - I couldn't just except what they were saying- I felt like I had to

constantly defend myself. (Defend Defend Defend.)

 

When I had my children-things only got worse. I began ignoring the parents

completely. I was still very sad because I wanted to be close to them.

(around age 28) I saw them getting older and wanted to connect better-finally

I just sat them down and had them to just overlook at my life as a whole and

me as a whole person and know and recognize that I am a good being, not a

terrible person. I am kind and forgiving and I have all the qualities that

they taught me. I just don't want to go to their church. I just choose

differently. God gave us the free will to choose. I 'lived' the truth and

they could see it jsut by looking at my life , no need to argue or defend it

harshly.

They are the ones after all who taught me that it is not right to judge

others. I just want to feel God the way that I feel him the best. I am a

good person who loves God- just a little different religiously. Now...Im

happy that they are happy. They are happy that I am happy. We all love God.

 

I publish a free magazine called SMASH(Spreading Music Services & Happenings)

On page 4 this month I put all the "prayers for peace" that were listed on

this group discussion list all together on one page and in the center of the

page -I put "The Melting Pot " with a background image of the United states.

Just last week a man about 65 years old in a jiffy store started an argument

with me in public as I was dropping SMASH out at the store. He was mad about

these prayers that I had so proudly published.

He asked me if I believed in God. I answered "yes, absolutely, I believe in

God."

He said "Oh... but only part time right?...You are only a part time

Christian, right?"

I was shocked and I said "No I'm sure I believe 100% of the time in God."

He said "well then why are you hanging around with people like these?(as he

pointed to my beautiful page of prayers) You know these people aren't going

to heaven?"

I said "I believe we will all go home one day-to heaven- we were born of the

same spirit and we are all doing our best in our own way to just simply go

home"

He said "Well Jesus Christ didn't die on the cross for them and they surely

aren't' going to heaven little lady!( with a big "no -it -all" look grin on

his face)

I backed out of the store and said "God asks that we not judge others and I

wish you a good day sir!"

I was so unraveled! That man was a pain in the butt! I thought, the nerve of

him cornering me in the store like that and practically attacking me with

accusations about God! How dare he!!! Who does he think he is?

 

Later...I talked to my brother, who's wisdom I greatly respect, and he said

to me "If a dog barked at you in the street would you feel it necessary to

bark back at him?"

hmmmmm......

 

~At the time of the incident I had felt like I had done 2 good things right

that I had learned from previous experience-

I did not go to either extreme- I didn't lie and just agree with him (secrets

& lies, the quick get-away solution!)

nor did I yell at him and get emotional or upset either (defend ,defend

myself).

Somehow I just remained calm and did my best to get out and make a point too

as I made my escape. But I was still so upset with this man. What am I

supposed to learn? How could I learn to not be mad or upset?

 

This was my lesson!!!! I was so mad at this man..... but should I thank him?

"Live the truth, and it will show!"

 

Why not be mad?- because he showed me to remember "to live the truth."

he and I are both a reflection of God, just different. He simply believes

differently and I am not to judge him either, if he is wrong or right, it is

not for me to decide!

 

"The truth is above everything...but higher still is truthful living." This

was my lesson!

....only victory endures in consequences which no one is defeated."

Thank you Guru.

Reminding me that It is always good to keep moving forward, to keep learning,

to add on to what I already know- this religion question has been a huge life

lesson for me, otherwise I wouldn't have been put so deeply in it. Everything

grows on the next thing. You have never learned everything that there is to

learn. lessons do come up again and again if you dont learn them.

Now , from the bottom of my full heart I thank this man that was in the

store for helping me to reach forward, he has helped me greatly without even

knowing what he has done.

He was simply a catalyst that propelled me to move forward, to examine myself

better.

to help me to concretely inforce what I know is Gods truth.

I will always thank him and remember him for this. The next time this happens

to me I will just smile and say.... "Sat Nam"

Always remember what you learn and always build on it.

I hope this little story helps you to recongise your personal catalysts and

to love them, sorry it is so lengthy.

Sat Nam,

Guru Tera Kaur

[Guest guest]

a wonderful story. thank you for sharing.

Peace, Love and Light, Sukhmani

 

-

MieshaLarkins

Kundaliniyoga

Sunday, October 07, 2001 12:41 PM

letting go of old thoughts

 

 

For`Siri Devta Kaur,

I too have been dealing with a religious situation w/ family my whole life.

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

dear Seri Devta Kaur,

 

i once read that all religions are different paths up the same mountian with

the objective of all followers to reach the top or to get as high as

possible. in their purist forms, all religions that i know of, ultimately

speak the same truth. wonderful words written by inspired and clean human

beings. sometimes, less spiritually evolved people do not question their

faith and accept blindly whatever they are told, often through fear of the

almighty because of bullying as children. this is ofcourse totally wrong and

very sad. and so the ignorant misinterpret these positive messages and the

truth becomes polluted. i do not suggest that these people are evil or bad,

only that they do not understand the more subtle points. when i find myself

disagreeing with someone who calls themselves holly or religious, yet acts in

an undignified way i tell myself that this person is atleast trying to climb

the mountain, towards the light. just as you say, it is then possible to love

them for where they are at this moment.

 

take care and sat nam

Stephen