KY and animals and humans... doing good. growing spiritually

[Guest guest]

Being good to all living things, saving animals........ the path of

positive action, doing good, of nobility.... I am purposely making these

goals difficult to achieve. I admire people who can achieve these goals.

Is there a path of the greatest resistance that is also a divine gift?

 

I am teaching Japanese to middle school kid in an inner city school. I have

no training for the teaching part of it although I have taught kids language

for many years. Now I am contemplating "should I continue; should I invest

in the further education that is necessary for certification (18 credits)."

I am 53 years old so I am not sure that I have many more years left in me.

At this stage in my life, a career does not matter much. But as I rise to

the challenge of the job, I seem to become stronger and my yoga practice

becomes more meaningful. I did not seek the job. It came to me. I prayed

for a job that would support my family, but not for this much difficulty. I

think it is Guru Pursed---a divine gift (in disguise).

 

My middle school students do not choose to learn Japanese and they are in a

very difficult time in their lives. Poor, politically weak minority

communities in my city are in hard times. Rich and poor, children are the

first to feel the information overload and the spiritual deficit of our

times. Also, there is a tradition of hazing first year teachers. So, I

have had terrible things done to my classroom and to me. A desk was thrown

out the window; many textbooks were destroyed when they went out the window.

I witness and have to stop fighting daily. I have been physically attacked.

The list is endless and really not very interesting. Its just reality.

 

Looking at my numbers numerological, all the places where I lack numbers, I

also stumble as a teacher. This job brings out my weaknesses like nothing

that I have ever done before. I feel much happier and successful teaching

yoga and doing shiatsu. Racism (I'm Japanese American), and cultural

antagonism (oriental lanague) also figure into the reason why this is a game

that is foolish to try to "win." Saving the adolescent from his or her

self, and the community around me from our shared weaknesses is also not a

realistic goal. Staying with the job only makes sense as spiritual

training for me and possibly for those around me, if I can learn to project

divinity.

 

As I (and other teachers) am steadily attacked by kids and administrators, I

don't harbor anger or resentment. At the same time, as personal karma, I am

too slow to put up a defense. Often I just don't. The cat pisses on my

clothes and the same thing happens at school with humans. Instead of

getting angry as I might have when I was younger, my creativity and ability

to reach out to people just shuts down. I withdraw into the images of

others who are going to reject my efforts. These are my illusions not

necessary the reality around me .

 

Then, an hour later, I screw up my courage and try for example to create

more appropriate lessons etc. But there is a knot in my throat. I am

feeling this won't work. I am going to miss this and that child. I am not

going to capture the imagination of the top of the class etc. The result is

a product that is too complex. Too filled with my doubts.

 

I am doing a kriya that Guru Dev gave me to say no. Enough is enough. I've

been doing it for a nearly a month and it is not strong enough yet. The

idea is to build my arc line. (Integrity to follow through with my word,

directing my word to the spirit of each individual are examples of arc line

issues for me.) On Friday I signed off on an administrator's classroom

observation that had false statements in it just to get out of the

confrontation with the administrator. Weak arc line. I am doing a better

job of holding back student attacks. But, then administrators and parents

are on the attack when I say 'enough' to students. I am still learning how

to verbal defend and document. Defense and offense (boundary creation) does

not come naturally. It is much easier to act as if we were all in sacred

space together and boundary were not an issue.

 

I have been trying a kriya to use the positive forces in the environment for

creative activity. It comes from the Mind by Gurucharand. I hold my hand

in prayer position in front pushing my hands together. I chant ra ra ra ra,

ma ma ma ma, rama rama rama rama , sa ta na ma. I am balancing feminine

and masculine energies. What else could I do? Also, I do a variety of

kriyas (movement yoga) to open up the heart and build the aura (arc line,

prana, magnetic field, radiant body are all included) What I seem to lack

is a sense of projection. Drawing a strong defense does not lead to

projection. What am I projecting? Getting involved in cooperative activity

possibly is more to the point.

 

Does it make sense to any of you to go after work that really exposes your

weaknesses and then to work on them through direct action and yoga? I don't

need the income from this work. The lesser income from shiatsu and teaching

yoga is ok. This work makes me really depressed whereas I am uplifted by

healing work (I get sick with that too because of weak boundaries). I don't

get sick since I started this job and seem to steadily build in strength

(physically and spiritually). Making time for sadhana and teaching yoag is

difficult, but I even have time to think about it as I am here. Those are

all signs to me that this work is guru pursad. I keep hoping that these

aggressive administrators will fire me for stumbling around so much, but

Japanese teachers are hard to come by. The only signs that I see is the

work demands will continue to increase. I am making plans to proceed, but

I'm scared. If this job is the guru pursad, where I lack the resources, the

universe will provide. That's what I am told. I am making the wager by

offering my life.

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Ellen,

 

Sounds like a dilemma. Guru Dev has got great advice. I'm an accountant

which is too left brained for what I really want to do, and thats changing.

I've

gotten to where I can tolerate the left-brainedness of the work. Now I am more

of a yogi that does accounting, whereas before I saw myself as, and felt I was

an

accountant who also happens to practice yoga (and about 3 yrs.). One day in SNR

class, Guru Dev was using me as an example and said "I could fix

him, but then he would just be an unhappy accountant."

I don't love it or feel drawn towards it in the way you are to teaching, but

I've put

it in my life now, where it needs to be. That was lots of yoga, and meditation

ago.

I have no doubt you could accomplish the same. Have you considered writing Yogi

Bhajan?

 

Blessings

 

Brad

 

Ellen Madono wrote:

 

> Being good to all living things, saving animals........ the path of

> positive action, doing good, of nobility.... I am purposely making these

> goals difficult to achieve. I admire people who can achieve these goals.

> Is there a path of the greatest resistance that is also a divine gift?

>

> I am teaching Japanese to middle school kid in an inner city school. I have

> no training for the teaching part of it although I have taught kids language

> for many years. Now I am contemplating "should I continue; should I invest

> in the further education that is necessary for certification (18 credits)."

> I am 53 years old so I am not sure that I have many more years left in me.

> At this stage in my life, a career does not matter much. But as I rise to

> the challenge of the job, I seem to become stronger and my yoga practice

> becomes more meaningful. I did not seek the job. It came to me. I prayed

> for a job that would support my family, but not for this much difficulty. I

> think it is Guru Pursed---a divine gift (in disguise).

>

> My middle school students do not choose to learn Japanese and they are in a

> very difficult time in their lives. Poor, politically weak minority

> communities in my city are in hard times. Rich and poor, children are the

> first to feel the information overload and the spiritual deficit of our

> times. Also, there is a tradition of hazing first year teachers. So, I

> have had terrible things done to my classroom and to me. A desk was thrown

> out the window; many textbooks were destroyed when they went out the window.

> I witness and have to stop fighting daily. I have been physically attacked.

> The list is endless and really not very interesting. Its just reality.

>

> Looking at my numbers numerological, all the places where I lack numbers, I

> also stumble as a teacher. This job brings out my weaknesses like nothing

> that I have ever done before. I feel much happier and successful teaching

> yoga and doing shiatsu. Racism (I'm Japanese American), and cultural

> antagonism (oriental lanague) also figure into the reason why this is a game

> that is foolish to try to "win." Saving the adolescent from his or her

> self, and the community around me from our shared weaknesses is also not a

> realistic goal. Staying with the job only makes sense as spiritual

> training for me and possibly for those around me, if I can learn to project

> divinity.

>

> As I (and other teachers) am steadily attacked by kids and administrators, I

> don't harbor anger or resentment. At the same time, as personal karma, I am

> too slow to put up a defense. Often I just don't. The cat pisses on my

> clothes and the same thing happens at school with humans. Instead of

> getting angry as I might have when I was younger, my creativity and ability

> to reach out to people just shuts down. I withdraw into the images of

> others who are going to reject my efforts. These are my illusions not

> necessary the reality around me .

>

> Then, an hour later, I screw up my courage and try for example to create

> more appropriate lessons etc. But there is a knot in my throat. I am

> feeling this won't work. I am going to miss this and that child. I am not

> going to capture the imagination of the top of the class etc. The result is

> a product that is too complex. Too filled with my doubts.

>

> I am doing a kriya that Guru Dev gave me to say no. Enough is enough. I've

> been doing it for a nearly a month and it is not strong enough yet. The

> idea is to build my arc line. (Integrity to follow through with my word,

> directing my word to the spirit of each individual are examples of arc line

> issues for me.) On Friday I signed off on an administrator's classroom

> observation that had false statements in it just to get out of the

> confrontation with the administrator. Weak arc line. I am doing a better

> job of holding back student attacks. But, then administrators and parents

> are on the attack when I say 'enough' to students. I am still learning how

> to verbal defend and document. Defense and offense (boundary creation) does

> not come naturally. It is much easier to act as if we were all in sacred

> space together and boundary were not an issue.

>

> I have been trying a kriya to use the positive forces in the environment for

> creative activity. It comes from the Mind by Gurucharand. I hold my hand

> in prayer position in front pushing my hands together. I chant ra ra ra ra,

> ma ma ma ma, rama rama rama rama , sa ta na ma. I am balancing feminine

> and masculine energies. What else could I do? Also, I do a variety of

> kriyas (movement yoga) to open up the heart and build the aura (arc line,

> prana, magnetic field, radiant body are all included) What I seem to lack

> is a sense of projection. Drawing a strong defense does not lead to

> projection. What am I projecting? Getting involved in cooperative activity

> possibly is more to the point.

>

> Does it make sense to any of you to go after work that really exposes your

> weaknesses and then to work on them through direct action and yoga? I don't

> need the income from this work. The lesser income from shiatsu and teaching

> yoga is ok. This work makes me really depressed whereas I am uplifted by

> healing work (I get sick with that too because of weak boundaries). I don't

> get sick since I started this job and seem to steadily build in strength

> (physically and spiritually). Making time for sadhana and teaching yoag is

> difficult, but I even have time to think about it as I am here. Those are

> all signs to me that this work is guru pursad. I keep hoping that these

> aggressive administrators will fire me for stumbling around so much, but

> Japanese teachers are hard to come by. The only signs that I see is the

> work demands will continue to increase. I am making plans to proceed, but

> I'm scared. If this job is the guru pursad, where I lack the resources, the

> universe will provide. That's what I am told. I am making the wager by

> offering my life.

>

>

> "OUR DESTINY IS TO BE HAPPY"

> - Yogi Bhajan

>

> You can UNSUBSCRIBE from this list at the Groups Member Center (My

Groups), or send mail to

> Kundaliniyoga

> NO UNSUBSCRIBE REQUESTS TO THE LIST PLEASE!

> WEB SITE: kundalini yoga

>

> KUNDALINI YOGA ON-LINE TRAINING. Details from

> kundalini yogaclasses.html

>

> Sponsored by YOGA TECHNOLOGY - Practical Books & Videos on Kundalini Yoga &

Meditation. Also Meditation & Mantra CDs.

>

> Your use of is subject to

[Guest guest]

Dear Ellen - No, it doesn't make sense to stay in an unhealthy situation.

Years ago I was in a similar situation with lots of mental abuse at work. I

needed the job. I had to hang in there and make it and help support my

family. It was exhaustingly painful and difficult. From the stress, I came

down with hypothyroid and adrenal exhaustion. I have never regained the

energy I once had. My thyroid was to be removed and I was to be put on

lifelong medication. I opted for alternative help but I don't enjoy the

health and energy and mental acuity I once had. - - The ability to reason

and think seperates us from the animal unable to get out of it's

environmental stress.

If you don't have to have this job, - don't. Have you considered that

this might be a sign for you to leave this job and use your energies to

devote yourself to the healing work that bekons you and where you can feel

and do good.?

Let us know how you are doing. Love and Blessings. Ruth

 

 

-

"Ellen Madono"

Re: KY and animals and humans... doing good.

growing spiritually

 

 

> Being good to all living things, saving animals........ the path of

> positive action, doing good, of nobility.... I am purposely making these

> goals difficult to achieve. I admire people who can achieve these goals.

> Is there a path of the greatest resistance that is also a divine gift?

>

> I am teaching Japanese to middle school kid in an inner city school. I

have

> no training for the teaching part of it although I have taught kids

language

> for many years. Now I am contemplating "should I continue; should I

invest

> in the further education that is necessary for certification (18

credits)."

> I am 53 years old so I am not sure that I have many more years left in me.

> At this stage in my life, a career does not matter much. But as I rise to

> the challenge of the job, I seem to become stronger and my yoga practice

> becomes more meaningful. I did not seek the job. It came to me. I

prayed

> for a job that would support my family, but not for this much difficulty.

I

> think it is Guru Pursed---a divine gift (in disguise).

>

> My middle school students do not choose to learn Japanese and they are in

a

> very difficult time in their lives. Poor, politically weak minority

> communities in my city are in hard times. Rich and poor, children are the

> first to feel the information overload and the spiritual deficit of our

> times. Also, there is a tradition of hazing first year teachers. So, I

> have had terrible things done to my classroom and to me. A desk was

thrown

> out the window; many textbooks were destroyed when they went out the

window.

> I witness and have to stop fighting daily. I have been physically

attacked.

> The list is endless and really not very interesting. Its just reality.

>

> Looking at my numbers numerological, all the places where I lack numbers,

I

> also stumble as a teacher. This job brings out my weaknesses like nothing

> that I have ever done before. I feel much happier and successful teaching

> yoga and doing shiatsu. Racism (I'm Japanese American), and cultural

> antagonism (oriental lanague) also figure into the reason why this is a

game

> that is foolish to try to "win." Saving the adolescent from his or her

> self, and the community around me from our shared weaknesses is also not a

> realistic goal. Staying with the job only makes sense as spiritual

> training for me and possibly for those around me, if I can learn to

project

> divinity.

>

> As I (and other teachers) am steadily attacked by kids and administrators,

I

> don't harbor anger or resentment. At the same time, as personal karma, I

am

> too slow to put up a defense. Often I just don't. The cat pisses on my

> clothes and the same thing happens at school with humans. Instead of

> getting angry as I might have when I was younger, my creativity and

ability

> to reach out to people just shuts down. I withdraw into the images of

> others who are going to reject my efforts. These are my illusions not

> necessary the reality around me .

>

> Then, an hour later, I screw up my courage and try for example to create

> more appropriate lessons etc. But there is a knot in my throat. I am

> feeling this won't work. I am going to miss this and that child. I am

not

> going to capture the imagination of the top of the class etc. The result

is

> a product that is too complex. Too filled with my doubts.

>

> I am doing a kriya that Guru Dev gave me to say no. Enough is enough.

I've

> been doing it for a nearly a month and it is not strong enough yet. The

> idea is to build my arc line. (Integrity to follow through with my word,

> directing my word to the spirit of each individual are examples of arc

line

> issues for me.) On Friday I signed off on an administrator's classroom

> observation that had false statements in it just to get out of the

> confrontation with the administrator. Weak arc line. I am doing a

better

> job of holding back student attacks. But, then administrators and parents

> are on the attack when I say 'enough' to students. I am still learning

how

> to verbal defend and document. Defense and offense (boundary creation)

does

> not come naturally. It is much easier to act as if we were all in sacred

> space together and boundary were not an issue.

>

> I have been trying a kriya to use the positive forces in the environment

for

> creative activity. It comes from the Mind by Gurucharand. I hold my hand

> in prayer position in front pushing my hands together. I chant ra ra ra

ra,

> ma ma ma ma, rama rama rama rama , sa ta na ma. I am balancing feminine

> and masculine energies. What else could I do? Also, I do a variety of

> kriyas (movement yoga) to open up the heart and build the aura (arc line,

> prana, magnetic field, radiant body are all included) What I seem to lack

> is a sense of projection. Drawing a strong defense does not lead to

> projection. What am I projecting? Getting involved in cooperative

activity

> possibly is more to the point.

>

> Does it make sense to any of you to go after work that really exposes your

> weaknesses and then to work on them through direct action and yoga? I

don't

> need the income from this work. The lesser income from shiatsu and

teaching

> yoga is ok. This work makes me really depressed whereas I am uplifted by

> healing work (I get sick with that too because of weak boundaries). I

don't

> get sick since I started this job and seem to steadily build in strength

> (physically and spiritually). Making time for sadhana and teaching yoag

is

> difficult, but I even have time to think about it as I am here. Those are

> all signs to me that this work is guru pursad. I keep hoping that these

> aggressive administrators will fire me for stumbling around so much, but

> Japanese teachers are hard to come by. The only signs that I see is the

> work demands will continue to increase. I am making plans to proceed, but

> I'm scared. If this job is the guru pursad, where I lack the resources,

the

> universe will provide. That's what I am told

>

> "OUR DESTINY IS TO BE HAPPY"

> - Yogi Bhajan

>

> You can UNSUBSCRIBE from this list at the Groups Member Center (My

Groups), or send mail to

> Kundaliniyoga

> NO UNSUBSCRIBE REQUESTS TO THE LIST PLEASE!

> WEB SITE: kundalini yoga

>

> KUNDALINI YOGA ON-LINE TRAINING. Details from

> kundalini yogaclasses.html

>

> Sponsored by YOGA TECHNOLOGY - Practical Books & Videos on Kundalini Yoga

& Meditation. Also Meditation & Mantra CDs.

>

> Your use of is subject to

>

>

[Guest guest]

What I am thinking is that when I am doing Sadhana, I really don't seem to

suffer any of the normal symptoms of a stressful job. The job stress makes

the need for Sadhana all the more real. Normally without this kind of

stressful job (teaching middle school without training for it), I just glide

through life. I went through the PhD stress with a lot more physical

trouble than I am having now. (I was only discovering the power of yogic

living at that time.) Now with all the demands of the job, I am having to

be a person that I am not naturally. That is, I have never been a leader,

never been highly organized, never had a tremendous aura, never been a very

positive person. I am very good at close personal relationships (one-on-one

communication) intellectual study and empathy. This job has some of that,

but it has much more of what I don't have. So I am learning to be those

other parts of the less developed me. Yogi B. taught us the teacher's oath:

I am not a woman, I am not a man, I am not a person, I am not myself. I am

a teacher. This is beginning to sink in. I am learning resources that a

teacher has, but that I (the person, woman, myself) don't just naturally

have. I think I will grow more than if I were doing what is easy and

natural for me. I will go back to teaching more yoga teaching and doing

more shiatsu in a few years. Before that, I need to grow. As I am now, I

will reach very few people because I naturally do not reach out. I have a

lot more yin than yang. If I grow in the more yang ways, I will become a

yoga teacher who can reach out to a wider public. As I am now, the yoga

class that I can generate will not grow me as a teacher. They will not

demand much from me. I doubt that I can become a great middle school

teacher in just a few years, but certainly I can become a greater more well

rounded person and a better teacher. I don't like the administration of the

school, but I am learning from the great teachers around me.