Wahe guru mantra;school

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Brad

 

Thank-you for your kind words.

 

My students are kids from all over Pittsburgh. Kids from ghetto communities

are there because smart parents found this loop hole to get them out of

really terrible neighborhood schools. I am in public school heaven, or so I

am told. The problem is the kids have no choice over which language to

take. They have difficulty making a commitment to such an unfamiliar and

to them difficult language. I am the only language teacher in this language

magnet teaching who is teaching raw beginners. Furthermore, I am the only

teacher teaching an unusual language non-European language. So my language,

me and my students are so to speak "second rung" in the pecking order.

 

Worse I am critical and strict with myself. That rubs off on they way I

teach Japanese as well. I am likewise critical of my teaching of Japanese.

So there is no room for a light, easy feelings. You can see I am the same

way with my practice of yoga. (For some reason, I am too lenient or at

least ambivalent in my judgment of student behavior. So I don't come across

as the ideal teacher who is clear and communicative. I am going to have to

meditate on the background for that tendency.)

 

Related, with an apparent change of topics, my 23 year old daughter came

home from yoga practice saying, "I am just beginning to realize that

practicing yoga does not define me, it's an approach to living. It does not

set standards for me. I set the standards."

 

Living and teaching in a way that facilitates the realization that my

daughter had is very important for a teacher who is naturally rather severe.

 

I realized that I was only deciding to continue public school teaching

because I saw it as a test of character and training for a stronger

character. Unfortunately, this kind of teaching (to large groups of

rebellious teenagers) is not my strong suit. So as of June 20th, I am going

to concentrate only on teaching yoga, doing shiatsu and writing. Of course,

the problems that I brought to the middle school teaching job will follow me

to teaching yoga. If I am not as well paid, I hope the work will be more

rewarding. Some yoginis and yogis who I have known for years are including

me in a new yoga school that they are starting. My daughter is designing a

Yoga & Shiatsu website and already a drawing to put on the site has been

donated. So this return to my original direction before I took on the

"real" job seems much more positive than it has ever been. My family has

watched me drawing blood for a "professional" job, so instead of putting

down the yoga teaching as they tended to do before, they are now backing it.

Even my "normal" husband is croaking "wahe guru."

 

By the way after writing to you, I slept and got up to make some lovely

kites that I am going to use for prizes for games tomorrow. Somehow my

energy has changed. I am working more out of creativity than fear and

hyper-responsibility.

 

Brad said: Neutral doesn't mean having to stand in there and take it.

Neutral

can also mean able to walk away from it and feel ok, that you did the right

thing for you, you know neutral.

 

So through meditation we actually become neutral to a lot of our

experiences? In that sense, I am usually successful. We may be

firecrackers in real life, but on reflection we can be a neutral observers.

 

Somehow I thought that cultivation of the neutral mind had a much more

immediate impact on our actions. So for example, even if I were hit by an

open bottle of hair rinse, I would be able to maintain a cool observer's

attitude (if not in the core of my being at least in my observable

behavior.) Since 20 kids are descending on me, quick action is required.

Anger does not have to be part of the mix. The creative reaction becomes

difficult with all that anger. I still believe that the neutral mind can be

strengthen so that in the middle of the battle, I am able to observe from

the third eye. Furthermore, those observations can guide my actions in the

middle of the battle. Or maybe, though my sadhana, the subconscious junk

that fuels an angry reaction will be drained. I will take action to prevent

more damage by the children, and I will not get angry. Too much to

expect??? May be not having expectations is important.

 

 

All things from the divine and all thing to the divine.

 

Sat Nam Gian (Ellen)