garbage during meditation

[Guest guest]

The other day i realized something that must be obvious, but was not obvious

to me. When I am meditating, I have many passing thoughts, images etc. My

mind is like that all the time. Being a very energy efficient, I think if I

have a good thought, I have to remember it. That means that I have to

evaluate this panarama. Another mundane activity of mind. Have the

thought, evaluate it, remember it and the list goes on.

 

Yogi B. talks about the garabage that goes through our mind. Deep in my

heart I am slightly insulted. I am not sure that I have to accept the

"garbage" lable. I don't have to worry about any evaluation. Just let that

whole list of mind activities go. Good, bad, indifferent, it doesn't

matter. Neither the positive mind nor the negative mind need to be active.

I don't need to evaluate anything including how i am doing with this

morning's meditation. I am not sure about the "watcher" that has been

discussed here. I have a feeling that the "watcher" is not the thinker, the

evaluator or the analyst. I don't need to have the intention to act on any

of the thoughts that occurs during meditation. That is just another

blockage to the meditative process.

 

As I moved out of my classroom this year, I had a chance to review many of

my failed lessons and plans. Those lesson plans were not coming out of

living in the moment. Rather, they were part of the illusions and general

garbage that floated through my mind during meditation. They are only

garbage because they do not come out of the moment. They come out of the

subconscious mind, when the mind is in the process of giving up junk. I

don't understand this process, but this is what I have been told. I believe

that I survived the year intact because I faithfully did sadhana, on the

other hand, things could have been better if I had not been so obcessesed

with my daily problems during sadhana.