Help with family conflicts

[Guest guest]

Shelley,

 

I know your pain. Been there, done that. Family matters such as these hurt

the most. They can also keep hurting because family members know us well.

They know how to strike.

 

At some point you will have had enough. You know what is right and what you

need to do for your own survival...mentally, spiritually, physically and

financially. It is hard to separate ourselves from the ill needs of others.

It feels lonely and hurtful at first. I had to do this also. I came to the

conclusion that all I had was myself. This was my path to steer. In the long

run, I became much, much stronger and excelled much, much further than I

ever would have under the family control. I couldn't see it while in the

midst of the problems. But, once I removed myself, healthier, happier and

even financially better things came my way.

 

Keep the focus on your path and what is right. It will help you, it will

help you accept and, believe it or not, it will even help them.

 

I removed myself physically and financially. I rejected their every hurtful

control tactic. Then, feeling very alone, did a lot of long, deep breathing

with the thought of welcoming a new lease on life. The unknown is scary but

then you learn you have nothing to fear. This is when I found great strength

of self. I didn't know yoga at the time. But, the experience led me to it.

 

Blessings to you that all will turn out well. Friends and help will come out

of the woodwork as long as you are willing to help yourself.

 

-Heidi

 

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[Guest guest]

hi Shelley,

 

I know that there are times when it feels like there is no solace--no matter

what anyone can say-- noone has to be in your specific shoes--I just want to

console you

by saying--I have been in bad situations---so bad I felt nobody could

relate--however,

with time comes all solutions and healing---and your situation, believe it

or not is no exception--please do not be scared for fear is an illusion and

it is useless--do not feel hopeless either--for God is with you in you

dilemma--the one who can help you--the one who can comfort you--the one whom

you can believe in and cry to when you feel small and helpless--you are not

alone---ever...there is an answer--and it will come from within....you love

your family--of this I have no doubt---you know this and so does a higher

power--so, no matter what happens, you are doing your best and you are

sincere with a kind heart, I can tell---pray, and ask god for guidance--this

is the answer you are looking for.

namaste,

m.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

on 7/30/02 8:11 AM, savahnnauh at savahnnauh wrote:

 

Merry Meet,

 

I am sorry if I have written about this in the past. (I don't remember if I

did, but am ready to deal with the situation now).

 

I am in need of some strength and guidance and don't know where to start.

Last Christmas, I found out my father betrayed me by committing credit

fraud, ID theft, mail fraud, and forgery on me. I am now over $100,000 in

credit card debt. I get harrassing phone calls at home, on my cell

phone,was gettting them at my old work number...I get letters constantly

saying I owe this much money, law offices are sending me letters... I did

not have the heart to turn my dad in when I found out. I was scared and

hurt. I was also on Celexa for panic disorder, so I kind of blew off the

incident. My dad has not done anything to help the situation. In fact, he

denies that there is anything wrong with him mentally. He is crazy. My mom

is of no help. My brother is of no help either. He threatened that he

would disown the whole family if I turned my dad in. My dad was a good

friend of mine. Since I went off my medication recently, everything is

hitting me like a tons of bricks. I am depressed, I finally had the courage

to contact the credit bureaus and let them know I was a victim of fraud.

Everyone is on my side but my mom, dad, and brother. They are so

codependent. My mom's answer to this is to "change my phone number!" They

make me feel so horrible. I did not cause this problem. He ruined my

financial future and did not seem to think of that when he committed those

crimes. I don't know what I am asking for. I feel guilt, shame, confusion,

betrayal, depression, and desparately in need of an answer.

 

Love and Light,

 

Shelley

 

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[Guest guest]

Shelley,

 

Like many of the others I too came from a very dysfunctional family and I

agree with everything the others have said. I would just add that as

long as you continue to do as your family wish , not only do you remain a

victim, but you are helping them to remain as they are. they are

completely opposed to you because doing anything about the situation

because it is going to force them to face reality, which is what they

want to avoid at all costs. There are consequences for every action and

in fact you would be doing your father and the rest of your family a

true kindness by forcing them to face theirs. It is a terrible situation

to be in and you have my deepest sympathy.

 

Love,

Avtar

 

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[Guest guest]

Sat Nam

 

When I read your hard stories about your families, I'm really happy - we have no

problems like this in our family.

 

Do you know Bert Hellinger and his method?

I think it's one of the best ways (except:yoga/meditation/praying) to change

situations in families.

Everything what happens in a family:

the reason is love, which goes wrong ways, but it is always love, even, when it

doesn't look so.

You find some informations on this site: www.hellinger.com

I worked with this method for myself and I often was a part of the work with

others, each time I saw: it is possible to change a lot and in most cases it is

possible to find a positive way.

And it isn't necessary to go to therapists for years!

 

 

Sending all of you a lot of love and enough energy and courage to find good

solutions!

 

Sonja

[Guest guest]

Dear Heidi,

 

I am below quoting your words....

 

>At some point you will have had enough. You know what is >right and what you

need to do for your own >survival...mentally, spiritually, physically and

>financially. It is hard to separate ourselves from the ill >needs of others.It

feels lonely and hurtful at first. I had >to do this also. I came to

theconclusion that all I had was >myself.

 

your these words,although simple but are very powerful.I have myself personally

walked on the track where slowly all left me because I had stood against someone

which I was not "suppossed" to do.And my faith in God helped me go through all

this ordeal.In the middle,it was only me to myself.In all this process I

realized the significance of God.Bad things always happen but if one has a faith

in God then HE gives strength to face those "BAd things".Anyway,it was nice to

know that its not only me who thought at one point in life that I have only me

for myself but you also thought the same and there may be many who have thought

the same after going thru traumatic situations.lol..don´t think I am

depressive.I just wanted to say that your above lines have a very nice and

effective healing message.I think many will benefit from these lines.

 

jyoti kaur

 

 

 

 

 

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