Guest guest Posted September 15, 2002 Report Share Posted September 15, 2002 In a message dated 9/12/02 11:47:58 AM Central Daylight Time, matthew.pearson writes: << It's great to hear your news Paula. When and what time is your next treatment? Matt >> Matt - I'm hoping to reschedule my chemo for Friday. My son and I plan to visit New York City the following week. Yankees game and Statue of Liberty. He wants to "drop everything" and "just do it!" Of course I agreed. Not every day I get the chance to travel with a handsome young man on my arm! Especially one that means so very much to me. So, I will let you all know what the day will be that I switch to. Thank you so much for your support. I carry you all in my heart wherever I go. It means so very much to me these days to know I have your ears, as well as your love. Chemo has not become the ordeal I feared it would be, but they assure me it "can become very troublesome" before it's over (the side-effects). I haven't started losing my hair, and with some determination of the spirit, I may keep most of it (it's very long, and I'm very fond of it)! My good friend that kept me with her for the last 3 weeks has gone home now, and I'm back on my own. My biggest problem is maintaining my weight. The chemo (or the cancer) steals one's appetite. Otherwise, I'm good. Thank you for asking. Peace and Love Paula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 4, 2002 Report Share Posted October 4, 2002 Sat Nam Group! Have been trying to get caught up on reading the board. Everyone is busy I see. This is good. There is much activity these last weeks. I had chemo on Monday this week. I didn't have my emails with me, and it really bothered me, because I had a feeling of being disconnected. This week has been tougher than the first two. I'm glad to be back online and reading with you. I'm not sure, but I don't remember if I wrote to you before this last treatment. I won't let that happen again. I have truly felt alone the last 3 to 4 days. Christa - you sound much better. Leo - hang in there. You're doing well also. Your determination impresses me. It is not my imagination, I don't think. Have you guys noticed there is more traffic on the board? Peace and Love Paula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 6, 2002 Report Share Posted October 6, 2002 Paula- I'm so sorry. I don't remember reading about your last chemo, so I didn't do RaMaDaSa for you during the chemo treatment. I'm REALLY sorry to have missed it. Please post your next one, and I will make sure to do it then. I'm doing much better, thank you for asking. My mother is taking things one day at a time. Which is all anyone can do. But she's smiling more now. Not quite back to 'normal', but getting there. Christa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2002 Report Share Posted October 7, 2002 Paula I also missed your chemo as I already wrote you to apologize, but your noticing the absence does rather validate the effect. I can not imagine anyone going through what you are not feeling alone. It is a very isolating experience. I remember how alone I felt being on the side lines. But, remember that you are not alone, we are here and also the universe is with you. hug-fulls of love, On Friday, October 4, 2002, at 08:07 PM, pjmcleroy wrote: > I had chemo on Monday this week. I didn't have my emails with me, and > it > really bothered me, because I had a feeling of being disconnected. > This week > has been tougher than the first two. I'm glad to be back online and > reading > with you. I'm not sure, but I don't remember if I wrote to you before > this > last treatment. I won't let that happen again. I have truly felt alone > the > last 3 to 4 days. -cris Cris Naugle Walk in Beauty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2002 Report Share Posted October 7, 2002 Dearest Crista and Group, My next chemotherapy is Monday, October 14th at 10:00 am CDT. Thank you for asking. I would have probably made an announcement before that day. I do not want to do this without you folks ever again.....I find it impossible to convey to you how much love and calmness surrounds me and fills me knowing that so many wonderful people are thinking and praying for me. This exercise has also helped me to become more "humble" on my journey. I've heard how difficult learning humility can be for some people, and I believe I'm one of them! :-) Having to "let go" and allow others to do for me has been a challenge. I was always taught to serve others. For an example, my son came to see me this weekend, and he did laundry and folded clothing for himself and me, and I felt very disturbed that I could not allow that to happen without feeling uncomfortable about it. Can you imagine how much a challenge it will be to ask for help using the toilet if the time comes? Blessings, Peace and Love to all Paula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2002 Report Share Posted October 7, 2002 Sat Nam Paula, Our love and prayers will be with you during and after the chemo. Keep up. Sincerely yours Hari Sant Singh Give up your sense of mine and yours and become the dust of the feet of all. God resides in every heart. > > > >"OUR DESTINY IS TO BE HAPPY" > - Yogi Bhajan > >You can UNSUBSCRIBE from this list at the Groups Member Center (My Groups), or send mail to >Kundaliniyoga >NO UNSUBSCRIBE REQUESTS TO THE LIST PLEASE! >WEB SITE: kundalini yoga > >KUNDALINI YOGA ON-LINE TRAINING. Details from >kundalini yogaclasses.html > >Sponsored by YOGA TECHNOLOGY - Practical Books & Videos on Kundalini Yoga & Meditation. Also Meditation & Mantra CDs. > >Your use of is subject to ___________ SikhNet - http://www.SikhNet.com ___________ Get news on Sikhism and the Sikhnet web site Sign up at http://www.SikhNet.com/ ___________ Select your own custom email address for FREE! Get you w/No Ads, 6MB, POP & more! http://www.everyone.net/selectmail?campaign=tag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2002 Report Share Posted October 8, 2002 On Monday, October 7, 2002, at 08:12 PM, pjmcleroy wrote: > For an example, my son came > to see me this weekend, and he did laundry and folded clothing for > himself > and me, and I felt very disturbed that I could not allow that to happen > without feeling uncomfortable about it. Can you imagine how much a > challenge it will be to ask for help using the toilet if the time comes? Paula, This resonated with me. I had surgery several years ago and when the hospital sent me home, the taxi driver had to carry me into my apartment and lay me on my bed. I cried all night because I had done so much for my late husband yet I had no one to care for me. Later, I was told by a wise man, "but God sent you the taxi driver." I too was humbled by this; my angel was a taxi driver from Nigeria, who deserved my gratitude not my embarrassed tears. Know that you will be sent the angel you need and if it happens to be one of your sons -allow him to repay you in this lifetime for all your loving maternal gifts. Any loss of dignity can be hard but is it really a loss of dignity or surrendering yourself to a helping hand; accept it with gratitude for it will be true, unconditional love. I will be there on the 14th, bless you, -cris Cris Naugle Walk in Beauty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2002 Report Share Posted October 8, 2002 Wow! This really hit home with me too (maybe it's a gender thing). But I remember getting home from the hospital after deliverying my 3rd child, and the next morning getting up and making pancakes for my family and a friend of ours who was visiting for a few days. She made such a big deal about having me get up and make pancakes after childbirth and couldn't believe I was doing it. But I honestly never thought anything about it until I read Paula and Cris' posts. And I completely understand what you are saying. It never occurred to me to just rest and recouperate. The only thing I was thinking was "I have a guest and a friend. I need to make sure they feel welcome and comfortable here." Paula, Cris is absolutely right. God will provide what we need when we need it. It may be in disquise (like a taxi driver), but he will be there regardless. We need to be open and honest enough to accept the gift of help with gratitude and love and not meet it with humiliation or embarrassment. This was very eye-opening for me. And I know deep down that I have a long road ahead of me in this area as well. But you both have helped me to understand an aspect of myself that I hadn't thought of before. Thank you both for your insights. And Paula, I will definately be with you on the next round of chemo! Christa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2002 Report Share Posted October 9, 2002 In a message dated 10/7/02 5:18:49 AM Central Daylight Time, cris writes: << Paula I also missed your chemo as I already wrote you to apologize, but your noticing the absence does rather validate the effect >> Cris - I do agree with you. I'm sure it's psychological on my part, but it plays an important part!!! Paula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2002 Report Share Posted October 9, 2002 Cris - Learning humility comes in many forms. So far, I do not feel as though I have lost any dignity, and do not fear that I will. It's very much like giving ourselves over to God/Guru whomever and trusting in faith. I have always struggled with not trying to "drive my own car" and accepting that it's not my job to be in control.. ha ha ha. Do you understand what I mean? Love and Peace Paula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2002 Report Share Posted October 9, 2002 Wow! This really hit home with me too (maybe it's a gender thing). But I remember getting home from the hospital after deliverying my 3rd child, and the next morning getting up and making pancake Christa = thank you for your words of encouragement. I think we become "programmed" in our heads as wives and mothers at an early age, and when the tables are reversed, we feel uncomfortable. It is actually an enlightening experience for me as well. I am enjoying some of the attention, but my son doing laundry was pause for reflection. This is a wonderful journey, preparing myself to leave this earth, whenever that may be. I have had many wondrous experiences that I'd love to share with all of you, but time and space will not permit. I'm learning to "let it happen" and not to question too deeply. Answers will come later when I'm ready, or when my God is ready to tell me. It helps me to say to myself "be still, and know that I am God." Love and Peace Paula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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