ego awareness or apathy??

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Christa,

 

If it matters to you that it doesn't matter, could this not be ego as well?

 

Who can enlighten us all about this paradox?

 

Light and Love

Sioux B

 

> Sat Nam everyone!

> I've been doing the Smiling Buddha med for just over a week now. And

> I had expected (I know, shouldn't do that) that this would be working

> on the heart center. But what I've found lately, is that I feel like

> I'm 'debating' myself a lot. Meaning, I'll watch a thought or feeling

> appear, and then question or identify that thought as 'ego' driven.

> And then I usually get rid of the thought. But a lot of times when

> this watching occurs, the feeling afterwards is "it doesn't matter".

> So maybe this means I'm becoming apathetic? Most of this occurs

> during work. And I'm not sure if this is the next stage for me to

> work through or if this is an affect from this meditation or

> something else. I haven't worked on my navel center in awhile. And

> this morning for sadhana I did the nabhi kriya (boy was I feeling

> that afterwards). Maybe the "it doesn't matter feeling" is just that

> my solar plexis is weak.

>

> Christa

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam everyone!

I've been doing the Smiling Buddha med for just over a week now. And

I had expected (I know, shouldn't do that) that this would be working

on the heart center. But what I've found lately, is that I feel like

I'm 'debating' myself a lot. Meaning, I'll watch a thought or feeling

appear, and then question or identify that thought as 'ego' driven.

And then I usually get rid of the thought. But a lot of times when

this watching occurs, the feeling afterwards is "it doesn't matter".

So maybe this means I'm becoming apathetic? Most of this occurs

during work. And I'm not sure if this is the next stage for me to

work through or if this is an affect from this meditation or

something else. I haven't worked on my navel center in awhile. And

this morning for sadhana I did the nabhi kriya (boy was I feeling

that afterwards). Maybe the "it doesn't matter feeling" is just that

my solar plexis is weak.

 

Christa

[Guest guest]

Dear Christa,

 

Learn to discriminate between detachment and mental discussion.

 

In the heart there is no discussion.

 

Sat Nam,

 

Gururattan Kaur

[Guest guest]

Hi Christa

 

I think the Smiling Buddha meditation is working. To be in the essence of

Buddha is to rise above judgment and acknowledge things as they are, with

detachment. It is the place of non-duality. It is a strange feeling at

first because to not feel emotion is to appear apathetic, and we are led to

believe that there is something wrong in that. I haven't experienced this

myself, but I've read the post very recently of a person on another list who

has, and this person was slightly bemused by her state until she realised

she was experiencing Buddha consciousness (with the guidance of the realised

teacher and healer who set up the discussion group). Apparently the

emotions will come back. Until then, enjoy the space and freedom and get to

know the space.

 

In the words of the teacher on the other list, "Bliss is not passion, it has

a larger dose of peace in it. Passion is drama, believing the illusion,

giving energy to fear and running off to save the world."

 

Good luck in your process. How exciting!!

 

Lori