Good news / Bad news

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam ya'll,

Well, the good news is my life.

Well, the bad news is my life.

 

I know that sounds confusing, yuo should try it from my side of the street! You

know, you read something like Kundalini is "in your face" yoga, which means our

stuff comes up much faster for us to deal with. But who really knows what "in

your face" means till it's IN YOUR FACE!

 

If you've been keeping up with me of late, you know that I have been being

contacted by tons of people from my dim past, either in the flesh or in dreams.

I recognize this is an opportunity for me to heal the unpleasant past, and yet

it can feel overwhelming at times. Not to mention that these people, by and

large, represent excrutiating times and events in my life. Today I did my usual

Sa Ta Na Ma meditation and added an ANGER SET and the Ra Ma Da Sa Sa Say So Hung

- and for the moment I feel even more miserable, if that were possible.

(interesting side note: when I started this last meditation, all the dogs in my

apt. complex started howling. Weird huh?)

 

I'm fairly sure I'm doing the right things to help myself, but I'm sitting here

with tears in my eyes to say "Right now, it's REAL hard ya'll" ! I find I don't

want to go most places because they make me feel "icky". I guess maybe I'm just

more sensative to the energy in my environment now. So my friends worry about

me becoming reclusive.

 

You know, it wasn't fair when I was put through the events and traumas I endured

growing up, and it seems a bit masochistic to want to re-experience all that

pain, even for healing. I do know that the only way out is through - but I'd

also like ya'll to be aware that these are the very things that caused me to

choose a life full of sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll! Right now, this minute,

those choices seem somehow more viable. Not because they're good for me by any

stretch of the imagination, but because they work. Temporarily to be sure, but

they DO work. I am SO trying (and so far suceeding - today) not to make those

choices.

 

As some of you know - I'm a budding writer. The other day I had a character say

a line I think particularly suits where I am right now. THe line was, "Welcome

to your new life, we regret any inconvenience."

 

Sat NAm, Leo

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Leo, Some years ago I "played" with kundalini. The results were

disasterous. I became obsessed with long forgotten traumatic memories which

had commandeered my conciousness. I became EXTREMELY emotional and paranoid.

Every moment of my day was overshadowed by these painful memories. I began

to doubt my sanity. Long therapy with counselling and medication helped but I

knew that the energy must rise for me to be myself again. As it stood I was

simply in damage control mode.

Now I am reentering Sadana with a competent teacher and I am

determined to carry this process to its end. As explained to me, once the

energy gets stuck it doesent go back down. It will stay in the area and

problems will continue until with continued sadana you get it started moving

up again. I feel good now and hope that my experience may shed some light on

your problem. You have entered the process and must complete it. There is the

"pot of gold" at the end of the rianbow. Hang in there and fight, Brother,

God is waiting for you.

 

Sincerely, Scott

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

> but I'd also like ya'll to be aware that these are the very things

hat caused me to choose a life full of sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll!

Right now, this minute, those choices seem somehow more viable. Not

because they're good for me by any stretch of the imagination, but

because they work. Temporarily to be sure, but they DO work.

 

But what about them 'works', Leo? The fact that you forget what hurts

or that you don't feel the pain anymore? I love the saying "anything

worth doing is never easy." You know what's best for you. ANd you are

doing your best to maintain it. If it does get too hard, ask for

help. Not just from us, but from God.

 

I can give you my perspective in situations like this, but it would

ONLY be mine. And it's certainly not a yogic point of view.

Independence is very important to me, perhaps because of my father.

But anytime I'm in an emotional crisis, I refuse to drink any

alcohol. I never did drugs, but the same concept would apply. The

reason is that I wanted to be able to get through it on my own. I

didn't like the thought of 'needing' something to get through a

situation, whether its depression/sadness or a time of celebration.

And I've always been like that. Of course, I'm now working on LOTS of

blocks in my heart chakra, but that's another story. The point is,

you CAN face these issues. You don't need alcohol or drugs to get

through. You've been there/done that. You know where that will lead

you. And right now your in the middle of the forest and have no way

of seeing how much further you have to go through. But keep up with

the yoga and the meditation. Soon you'll be able to see some light

glaring in. Then you'll see the trees thinning. And finally you'll

step into a beautiful green pasture. Just focus on one day at a time.

Don't think about what you'll do tomorrow if you still feel this way.

Deal with here and now. When tomorrow comes, then you can deal with

it. But every minute you stick with it, is one more minute that you

are closer to coming into the clearing.

 

Christa