My holiday 'test'

[Guest guest]

WARNING!! Another one of Christa's long posts. (I figured I've been

gone for awhile so you've probably missed my long-winded rambling!)

 

I really like the saying 'anything worthwhile is never easy.' I'm

trying to figure out how to phrase this without sounding either

ridiculous or self-abusive. My experiences thus far with ky have been

very positive, and I don't mean that I'm working through a lot

of 'junk'. But rather, the effects have been very calming and

peaceful. I haven't had any negative emotional issues arise that I've

needed to work through. And as silly as this sounds, I sometimes

think maybe I'm not doing things correctly. Because in the back of my

mind I'm expecting (I know, stop doing that) to be experiencing

negativity and to have to work through things in order to come out

stronger and better for it. But I haven't. So there's part of me

that's wondering when all of the 'bad' stuff will come up for me to

deal with. And another part of me is suggesting that I'm not doing

something in ky correctly and that's why I'm not digging up garbage

to sift through. Those two voices aren't as loud as the were several

months ago and are fairly easy to ignore now. But they are still

there.

 

On the positive side, I do appreciate a lot of 'little' things that

happen outside of ky. In conversations that I have with family and

friends I notice things that I never noticed before. Like implied

meanings, odd phrases, things that before would have either slipped

by me or gotten under my skin. And now I hear them and see them for

what they are. They don't bother me in the least. My family has been

teasing me (in a loving and friendly way) about doing yoga ever since

I started. (My brother offers me an AUMond Joy whenever he sees me!)

And it has never bothered me at all, I know they are just joking

around. But lately they've referred to me as Switzerland several

times, which they've never done before. And its usually when

referring to 'family matters'. Everyone has certain Aunts/Uncles who

get on everyones nerves, or cousins who talk to loud and obnoxious

or...you get the idea. And my family is no different. But this year,

as my immediate family was doing some venting regarding the extended

family, I was just listening to them and musing to myself. When they

asked me, I just responded with something like 'you all know how they

behave. Why are you upset or frustrated because they behaved that way

again? It shouldn't surprise you, so why let it ruin your evening.

They are what they are. Let them be and just enjoy yourselves.'

Granted its not something Ghandi would have said, but for the

audience, it was sufficient to call me Switzerland and then comment

about 'getting off the fence.' Again, it didn't bother me. But as I

listened to them, it was like I was hearing them for the first time,

even though this is the same stuff every year. I was happy to see all

of my family and actually enjoyed myself. The real test for me was

yet to come.....it was my sister-in-law.

 

Contrary to common stereotypes, my husband and I get along actually

very well with our in-laws. Although he can't stand either one of his

sisters. I've only ever had a problem with his youngest sister.

Before this year, I could only tolerate being in a room with her for

less than 10 minutes. She is in her mid-thirties (very close to my

age). She still lives at home. She has had more odd jobs over the

years than I can count. You get the picture. I really like my parents

in-law and always felt like she was taking advantage of them and his

grandmother (she lives with them as well). The taking advantage part

is because they make her food for her, wash/fold her clothes, even

make her bed. And she doesn't have a problem asking or expecting this

of them. She's basically everything that is completely opposite to me.

 

And up till this year, I've been putting the bulk of the

responsibility for the situation on his sister. The rationale being

that she's old enough to know when she's taking advantage of a

situation. But this year, I commented to my husband that she will

never change until his mother stops treating her like that. And as I

said that, it was pure fact. There was no emotion or anthing attached

to it. And it was like I was hearing it for the first time, even

though I was the one saying it. And I realized that they both share

equal responsibility for the way things have evolved. And that no one

else can change it except them. Its amazing how simply obvious some

things are and yet we still can't see them until the smack us in the

face a few times and scream once or twice. But I spent several hours

in the same room with her. We didn't talk much, we just don't have a

lot in common. But she didn't bother me in the least. I felt

comletely comfortable and not annoyed at all.

 

So, while I may find some (NOT all) poses fairly easy and possibly

don't fully appreciate how difficult they are for others, I

absolutely do appreciate the results that I see in the rest of my

life. And after 12 years, I am confident that the only reason I could

enjoy my holiday and not get frustrated with others, especially my

sister-in-law, is because of KY. (After that long, I've been able to

rule out all other possibilities that I've tried over the years!)

 

Christa

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Christa,

Thanks for sharing that. When one can stand in the middle of something and

remain unaffected then they are progressing. After all what does all this amount

to if when cross-road situations arise and we are not able to meet them

appropriately. You were tested and you past!

Toyb

-

spatialagent1 <spatialagent1

Kundaliniyoga

Tuesday, January 07, 2003 9:16 PM

My holiday 'test'