to Michelle re sa ta na ma

[Guest guest]

Hi Michelle Anne Marie here,

I dont know really about the times and days we should do the meditation but

my teacher always tells me to drop the shoulds and do what you feel. I think

you were referring to me about the childhood trauma thing. I dont know if

this is what the meditation will do for everyone , but for me its bringing

up images of when I was a child and when I felt worthy and whole, before I

was sexually abused. I always had this image of myself as being unclean and

undeserving of anything, and I thought that was the real me and that if

people discovered my dirty little secret I would be ostrasised by them. I

have had nice memories come up during the meditation and now as I go about

my day I notice that my image of myself is changing dramaticaly. Sometimes a

lot of anger also comes up and I cry a lot and so it drains me.I hope that

is getting rid of the crap. What really blows me away is that I can remember

just about every nice dress that my Mum put on me as a child,( we had to

wear dresses in England) My teacher says that that is a rememberance of

innocence. Anyway, I do it when I feel I can handle the pain it brings up

but at the same time look forward to it because its giving me back my self

respect. I do it for 31 mins and sit for a while afterwards and then

sometimes if I have time journal my experience. Lots of luck Sat Nam

AnneMarie.

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Anne Marie:

 

Yes, I was referring to what you had written about clearing away

childhood traumas with this meditation.

 

I have decided to go forward and continue this on for beyond the 40

days and also now to do the 31-minute version. I really need to. I

have been crying and sleeping a lot--not the depressive, isolating

kind of sleep--just exhausted emotionally from it all. I feel like

a walking open wound. But this is good!!! heh. )

 

I will be writing to you off-list by day's end.

 

Thank you for connecting with me. We have angels. )

 

Blessings,

Michelle