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Sat Nam Everyone,

 

I'm looking for a way to deal with other peoples negativity manifested in

hurtful speech. When loved ones hurt me with their speech, I find myself

verbally paralyzed after the injury, because I do not want to react by saying

something hurtful in return.

 

What can I do in preparation for these encounters and is there anything I can do

during these encounters to help overcome the negativity?

 

Sat Nam.

Ernie

 

 

 

 

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Dear Ernie,

 

There is no simple answer to your question, but there is a solution if you

are willing to explore a rather simple formula as set out originally by

Marshall Rosenberg in nonviolent communication.

 

Communication is an art. I have found the techniques of non-violent

compassionate communication incredibly useful. I feel that this method is

to communcation like KY is to health and well-being. I have taken workshops

from the author, Kelly Bryson, of a new book on the subject DON'T BE NICE BE

REAL.

 

Kelly is the most devoted student of Marshall Rosenberg. He has succeeded

in integrating the heart of this method into his psyche. When he talks I

feel empowered to be honest to the core. He shares so honestly in his book

that I feel free to be real with myself and others.

 

We now have this book in our store www.yogatech.com. I highly recommend it

to everyone! I wish I had been born with it in my hands.

 

Sat Nam,

 

Gururattan Kaur

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Sat Nam Ernie,

I understand completely the way you feel about other people hurting you through

speech as I had quite a few really close to me during my life. I used to react

the same way you do, but lately a strange energgy flow of realizing and telling

the truth comes out from my heart and it really works better for everyone.

Instead of freezing or answering back to them, I simply tell them straight and

calmly in their face what they are doing, how they try to hurt me with their

words and this seems to take them by surprise, because the truth is that while

they are doing this, they might not be aware of it. Most people are usually

acting mechanically through behavioral patterns without even realizing it most

of the time, but if someone strikes them once with the truth instead of reacting

by hitting the ball back to them, they at least have the chance to think and

realize for a moment what they are really doing. If you are honest with them

then they have to be honest with themselves don't they? And then the world would

be a much more honest place wouldn't it?

Love and Light

Marily Sat Atma

-

Ernie

kundaliniyoga

Sunday, February 02, 2003 9:02 PM

hurtful speech.

 

 

Sat Nam Everyone,

 

I'm looking for a way to deal with other peoples negativity manifested in

hurtful speech. When loved ones hurt me with their speech, I find myself

verbally paralyzed after the injury, because I do not want to react by saying

something hurtful in return.

 

What can I do in preparation for these encounters and is there anything I can

do during these encounters to help overcome the negativity?

 

Sat Nam.

Ernie

 

 

 

 

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Dearest Ernie,

 

you've got some wonderful answers.

 

I want to add some things:

 

You can use the Triple Mantra as a very good preparation - 11 minutes every

morning, it will help you to avoid any negativity from others against you.

 

And, if you can, try to see light in them, surround them with light, see Christ

in them and they will have no little chance to project anything on you.

 

I tried it and it works very quick:

I was in a workshop, there was a woman sitting behind me, she had a real

aversion

against me, I couldn't explain myself why, I was just there and I was friendly

with her, but she was grumbling the whole time, I couldn't do anything right in

her eyes and it was not easy for me to stay at that place, because I could feel

a

real disagreable energy.

Then I tried this 'easy' little exercise, and directly after it she was very

friendly and

it was okay for the next three days.

 

If you want to do a little bit more, you can see: http://www.rootlight.com

There you will find a prayer: Love before me, Love behind me, Love at my left,

Love at my right..., Peace before me, Peace behind me..., Light before me..., -

you can add Christ before me, Christ behind me... and if you use this prayer as

often as you can, you will have a very good protection - together with Triple

Mantra it will be great, you will be invulnerable.

 

If someone hurts you, then you can take the same prayer and add his or her name:

Love before Tom, Love behind Tom...

 

And there is another important thing too: if you don't want to be hurt, you

should send light to all people you may have been hurt, even if you did it

without intention.

 

If you want share your experiences...

 

Blessings - Love, Peace & Light to you and to all

 

Sonja

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