Grappling with Humility &Power

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Everyone...

 

I just had a funny experience with this "list". I was trying to go

back and read some of the info given to me on diet earlier this week

and I accidentally hit the wrong button and ended up at the

beginning of time....(or alteast the very beginning of this list!)Ha

ha!

 

I found myself witnessing the birth of this "list"...before there

was a Gordon or a Gururattan even!....when people had questions, but

there wasn't really a whole lot who could answer them....WOW! how

things change!

 

It's funny because this morning during meditation I realized I've

been experiencing what my teacher calls "the four Horsemen" over the

last few days (fear, anger,guilt, grief).....(not that any of these

are "new" territory for me..but I just became aware that this is

what is at play for me right now)and out of these four emotions in a

more refined sense I have been experiencing pride. My teacher

always says.."pride needs to be stalked"...meaning become aware of

where in your life it surfaces..what circumstances awaken it?

 

....and I am vigilant in my stocking of pride, which is very

difficult, because it goes against all the things which pride is

about! Ha ha!(you know saving face, feeling righteous,showing no

weakness etc) And as I've said in the past..I AM A LEO!..and born

on a Tues to boot!(Mars...god of war!)...for me this is a job and a

half!

 

>From the ego's point of view...releasing pride...feels like "loosing

the battle" (giving up)....well..of course...IT IS!...SURRENDER....

THY Will...not my will...."get in line with the Divine"....

 

Finding myself back at the beginning of this list and seeing

what "humble" beginnings it had, reminded me of the "beauty" of

humility....out of the most humble beginnings...proliferation can

grow and be nurtured.

 

I find myself contemplating humility and power. I realize that my

perception of these words have been quite skewered. My new

understanding although it is still unfolding for me, is that....

humility...IS...a "position of power"....and that power perhaps is

more of a state of consciousness(the state of presence, humility and

awareness) than a force you exert or manipulate. And I'm speaking

of a True definition of power....I realize many exert force in our

world and many feel powerless because of it.

 

My new understanding is that...under any circumstance I can

experience "empowerment"(a state of power/no lack/infiniteness)...in

many ways I have believed this in the past(in our day to

dayness)...but there are always those last few "cling ons" in our

psyche that say..."yeah...but not under this circumstance...no.."

I'm thinking about that book, "Man's Search for Meaning" and how

Victor talks about feeling "okay" in amongst the most atrocious

circumstances etc... and something is really clicking for me....I

suppose this is an obvious "in the book of Duh!" to quote Deva, but

it holds a deeper meaning, it's more poignant for me right now.

 

I can chose humility in any moment and not lose power...humph! What

a liberating thought!

 

I think in it's immature form, power is something we exert, and as

it matures,through the developement of presence and awareness, it

becomes a magnetic force which draws towards us all possiblities

which will uplift our Soul. This is actually what I've always

understood the grace of a woman to be...the ability to be

magnetic... perhaps I'm only viewing it from a female perspective?

 

Does anybody have a deeper understanding of the True Nature of power

that they could share with me?

 

All Light,

Sat Sangeet