Ovarian cyst

April 2, 2003

Sat Nam,

My name is Gloria. I'm new to Kundalini Yoga even though I'm on this

list since a couple of months and reading with interest your posts.

I finally started last week with the short version (11 minutes) of

the SA TA NA MA meditation. Some years ago I already did Hatha Yoga

and had some experience with other energy work like Tai Chi,

Feldenkrais, Reiki, etc - just name it. But I never really went very

deep into it and never kept on doing these for a long time.

Yesterday I had an ultra sound scan and the result was that I have a

huge cyst of 8 cm x 4 cm, filled with liquid, on my left ovary. I

finally did this ultra sound scan after my sister called and told me

about a dream she had that my ovaries should be taken out and she

was screaming that nobody has the right to do that. Actually I

already had a huge cyst last summer (before, I never had problems

with my ovaries, uterus etc) and I get rid of it last July through a

small surgery through the navel. But now its back! What do my

ovaries want to tell me so constantly?

Yesterday night I read in a very interesting book written by the

American gynaecologist Northrup - she is saying that problems with

the ovaries in general show that the woman's creativity flow is

blocked and in particular that this very often the result of

feelings that others are doing something to you (others are guilty

for something which happens to you) Additionally to this, one might

feel angry towards a person, doesn't forgive this person.

And in fact, that reflects a little bit or very much my current

life. Even though I gave birth to a daughter 2 years ago (isn't this

a lot of female creativity?), I'm not always very happy about

certain things in my life. I don't want to go into details, in short

I feel to much pressure on my shoulders to fulfil all the needs

(job, my daughter, my boyfriend, our dog, domestic tasks, etc) with

to less support from my boyfriend. Even worse - a lot of negative

energy is there due to many "fights" I have with him. And here we

are, unconsciously I make him responsible for all this discomfort. I

stay, complain, but nothing moves. I know, I have to change - not to

meet his needs but mine. And I'm sure that Kundalini Yoga can help

to start and evolve that process. Is there any specific mantra and

exercises I could do?

Sat Nam,

Gloria

April 3, 2003

Sat Nam Gloria,

The mantra that you have choosen is a good, positive start....Sa ta na ma helps

one to break out of old patterns and to create a soul connection. Developing

awareness helps us to recognize on a deeper level what our Soul's desires are

and it also allows us to witness our life and begin to gain an understanding of

how we ended up in the places and circumstances that we have ended up

in.....through this broader perpective we are able to view all of our

enviroments, circumstances and relationships....we begin to understand and life

begins to de-mystify....we don't feel so stumped any more.

Rather than hand out KY meditation like a prescription, I believe it is more

important in the beginning.....to start at the beginning. Follow the on line

course and introduce yourself at a moderate pace to the "experience" of KY.

Allow yourself to have the experience of awareness and witnessing...notice the

effect each posture has on your body and mind....how does each kriya effect how

you feel...notice your state of mind before you begin and then notice afterwards

what has changed?

I don't beleive there are really any quick changes to be had...there is a

process to healing our lives and living in more fulfillment....we just need to

keep moving in the right direction. KY is miraculous in it's

effects...sometimes we experience a instant healing....but what I've come to

understand is that there is always alot of "follow up" work that needs to take

place afterwards.

My first three weeks of KY were magical in that respect....I experienced a

healing of a physical condition that had been nagging me for a year and a

half....but after the physical manifestation subsided...I still had a lot of

emotional work to process through.

So I think what I am saying is...just surrender to the process...have an

experience of kundalini yoga and allow your awareness to develope....and begin

to understand what your underlying Soul's desires are and begin to live them,

one step at a time.

You'll recieve guidance along the way....your Soul will speak to you....and

you'll begin to understand what it is you need to do in order to feel healthy

and fulfilled...whether it be yoga or some kind of healing or whatever....

I know it is frustrating when you have a physical condition that won't resolve

with mainstream medical attention....I begin to feel helpless when that

occurs....like what else can I do, just somebody tell me, please! What I

realize is that true and thorough healing takes time as we peel back the layers

of the onion....we need time to process what we uncover...we need time to

practice "being" in new ways...you know there is a learning curve....if we just

had our whole life healed in one second, we'd go into a complete identity

crisis! WE"D REALLY HAVE TO CHANT SA TA NA MA THEN!! HA HA! We wouldn't

recognize the person we had become over night. The whole process of life is to

evolve ourselves...and evolution, as the word suggests, occurs over time.

So the import thing is simply... to begin....and keep moving forward at what

ever pace serves you. When you feel stuck, rely on all the info posted on this

list...there are a million e-mails about how to unstick yourself and move

forward...and then choose to act in a forward direction. The littlest attempt

will get the ball rolling for you.

Good luck Gloria....keep in touch and let us know how you progress....if you

need it, there are alot of people on this list who can give "pep" talks!

May your Soul be Radiant and your health be in balance,

All Light,

Sat Sangeet

gloria.schaedle wrote: