to Satsangeetkaur power and humility

April 2, 2003

Hi Satsangeetkaur, Anne Marie here.

I was amazed at your posting when I read it this morning.I was going through

the exact thing yesterday. On Monday my Mother had a heart attack. I am in

Canada and she lives in England. Its always hard when we get news like this.

As usual I started going through the whole gamut of emotions. like you said

fear guilt pride and a little anger. I am the eldest of 5 girls in the

family.

First I was afraid that my Mum was going to die,then I felt guilty because

Im so far away and my younger sisters are doing all the running around and

looking after her, and I felt anger that I had emigrated in the first place.

I realised that I was allowing my ego to let me spiral into the victim mode.

Before I did Yoga I would have been a complete mess. I started to fix my

mind on my body and realised the pain I was creating for myself. I had lower

back pain which then travelled upwards until my whole body felt like it was

spasming. I really hurt all over. Because of Yoga I could be aware of what

my mind was doing to my body. I noticed myself going into hopelessness. I

decided that all I could do was prepare myself.I checked flights to England

sent my Mum flowers and phoned the hostpital directly to get an honest

picture of my Mums condition. They told me not to panic that she was

stable.Then I took a warm bath and layed down and prayed. I surrendered to

the Universe and humbled myself to God and told him I would accept whatever

was meant to be. It was hard I didnt want to let go. It was hard even to

breath and I felt resistance especially on the exhale. Anyway I managed to

meditate for a while and whilst in meditation I was seeing faces, groups of

people in really old fashioned clothes. It felt like they were telling me

all would be okay. I must have dozed off and when I woke up I was completly

pain free and felt able to cope with whatever the outcome. I felt completely

empowered and in control of my own reactions.I often wondered how Yoga would

help me when there was a real crisis in my life and now I know. This has

helped me trust myself in the moment and thats where you feel the real

power. Thanks for letting me share this.Sat Nam Anne Marie

April 2, 2003

"I felt completely

empowered and in control of my own reactions.I often wondered how Yoga would

help me when there was a real crisis in my life and now I know. This has

helped me trust myself in the moment and thats where you feel the real

power."

Sat Nam Anne Marie....thank you for sharing your experience with me, it more or

less echoes a conversation I was having with my teacher yesterday....we were

talking about powerlessness and what to do with feelings of powerlessness.

And just like you did....you work with what you personally have control over and

then you surrender the rest to God/Universe/Creator/universal intelligence

etc....knowing that your higher power will come through..it's a given...and just

be open and willing to accept how that "coming through" arrives on your

doorstep. And after that surrender...simply be peaceful and know all is as it

should be.

Yes, I'm with you...isn't yoga wonderful?...who knew?? there was a way out of

suffering?

I came across a definition of power yesterday which cleared up for me, kinda

what it was I was grappling with around power the other day....it hails from

Deepak Chopra..

He speaks of "ego based" power which is what I was referring to when I said

"power in it's immature form".....which is based on aquisition..it's based on

things and when all the things are gone, so is your feeling of powerfulness or

empowerment.

The other power he speaks of is "Self-power"...which is in keeping with what my

newer understanding of experiencing power is.....He says" It's permanent and

based on the knowlegde of Self. And there are certain characteristics of Self

power. It draws people to you, and it also draws things that you want to you.

It magnetizes people,situations and circumstances to support your desires. This

is called support from the laws of nature. It is the support of Divinity: it is

the support that comes from being in the state of grace.Your power is such that

you enjoy a bond with people, and people enjoy a bond with you.Your power is a

bonding...a bonding that comes from true love."

So I suppose what I understand from all of this is that, what is "powerful"...is

being able to have the courage to act when action is appropriate and then having

the wisdom to surrender unto your higher power, that which is no longer under

your scope of influence...and then understanding that the universe is set up to

support you in every way....no fear off what the outcome might be, is necessary.

As you described Anne Marie...going with the flow...and being present enough to

recognize it.

Being "powerful" is aligning yourself with the Divine and then surrendering to

that process.....living in a state of grace...where nature serves you..because

your personal desires have become of the Divine nature....co-creating

reality...going with the flow etc.

SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD PLACE TO BE!!! Ha Ha ha Ha!

Well I guess I should go teach some yoga...

Blessings for you and your family, Anne Marie...may all love surroound you,

Sat Sangeet

Graham Robert Crabb <gcrabb wrote: