What is happening

[Guest guest]

I have been reading your posts andI can't begin to say how much they

have helped and answered most of my questions.

However, lately after mediation I feel angry or like crying. When I'm

meditation I don't feel this way and I used to feel this energy when

I first started. I have been consistantly been doing KY for about 23

days. I stared before but couldn't seem to keep the schedule.

 

Anyway, I thought I was beyond the anger of ex- husband, and try

clearly to think positivly but now this comes and goes but while it's

there I feel like I've lost what I was searching for. Which is peace.

 

I don't know how to deal with it or not..... Can someone shed some

light on this or me please. Is this reaction of losing control a good

thing? Why am I not losing control and laughing or doing something

positive?

 

How do I work through this and release it. It can be overwhelming at

times. I don't like how I feel about anything when I have these

feelings. Most of the time I am happy and I can't wait to do my KY

but latly I have to push myself because of these emotions. I don't

like these feelings.

 

Any advice? I do SatANamA and I also started Ra Ma Da Sa.

 

Bright Blessings,

 

Sat Nam,

 

Keyleun

[Guest guest]

Dear Keyleun,

You asked if any one can shed some light on your concerns

about feeling a strong response of anger? I can share my

experience?

I think having this intensity of emotion arising stops alot of

people dead in their tracks when they first begin a practice

of KY....I would begin by saying...I can relate and you are

not alone in this experience by any means....

We all have layers upon layers of emotion and thoughts

built up within us....if we keep moving through the layers

eventually...we strike gold...we find the root....the one thought,

all others were built upon...and then we can heal it and the

book closes on that "particular" story.

Some books have "many" chapters! So it takes the time

it takes...to heal something, depending on how ingrained

it is in your psyche....so thinking you've healed something

and then seeing it come up again...is very "normal" in that

you've just come to another layer or nuance of it.

 

When I experience anger rising, I begin to recognize that

my defence mechanism has been set off....meaning the ego

has been threatened and I am now expereincing a strong

reaction that is out of proportion to the current event...which

leads me to believe, there is something "beneath" the anger

that has been touched upon...some unhealed part of myself

that feels threatened in some way.

I find the more I can sit with the anger rather than get caught

up in..."my God.. why am I angry again?" or whatever the

reaction is, you have to feeling angry... the more I can go

beneath the surface to see what's underlying the anger.

For me...there is always a floodgate of tears/grief under

anger? and I know now if I can let myself get to the point

of tears, by being with the anger without acting it out... the

tears will cool the anger...and then when we let go of grief we

are left with a greater capacity to connect with our inner being.

When the emotions are stuck...we lack that connection...when

they flow..it clears the path. In the moments of connection we

can recieve guidance, understanding, light....healing....and the

ability to be more fully our true nature.

I think we in general as a society have huge fear of emoting....I

think we need to change that....having emotions doesn't mean

we are unstable or something is the matter with us....it's called

living and being human. Having a strong emotional reaction is

just a sign post saying hey look over here..something needs

your attention...

Some people feel like they might die if they were to actually

express how they feel....I think the anger comes from not

having the opportunity to express how we feel in an appropriate way....we don't

give ourselves or each other the time to process

emotion at the time that it arises so we stuff and stuff it...and

it begins to spill out eventually.

So to remedy all the stuffing we have been doing...we need

to begin feeling it all and processing it...

So it is a good thing that you are noticing how much anger

you are harboring....now it's time to walk a little deeper into

your closet and see what's hanging behind the anger and

begin to throw away that which needs to be let go of...until all

that is left is that feeling of unshakeable peace that you desire.

So I would suggest expressing your feelings in what you would

consider a safe enviroment, when you feel overcome...and

continue to develope the meditative mind...the ability to witness objectively.

P.S. feeling the anger or grief post meditation is often what happens...just do

your best to keep consciously working with

what is arising for you and you'll experience moments in the

light and then you'll fall back into the dark for a while, then

you'll come back into the light...and the process continues

like that until you are healed.

May all love surround you,

Sat Sangeet

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"OUR DESTINY IS TO BE HAPPY" - Yogi Bhajan

 

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[Guest guest]

oh, m'gosh. this is just what i felt. i went to one ky class (so far) and

besides the fact that the asanas were difficult for me, i became so angry

and so sad alternately. i thought i was going crazy. i have wanted to return

ever since but haven't been able to take myself there because i feel afraid

that i will experience feeling out of control again.

 

----

 

I think having this intensity of emotion arising stops alot of

people dead in their tracks when they first begin a practice

of KY....I would begin by saying...

 

Be Love,

Berijoy

 

 

[Guest guest]

Sat nam Berijoy....I've taught and have been in many classes

where one or several students are crying through a good portion

of the class....I had one student come up to me after the

3rd class she took and ask "why do I cry...everytime we

begin...I didn't even know I was sad?"

 

This is all good....and the focus is simply to be with it,

allowing without fueling it with supporting thoughts,

which serves to keep the emotion alive and kicking!

If an emotion is like a wave...simply allow it to rise

and fall...and then take a moment to notice

afterwards that...you survived! ha ha! Then emoting

becomes a much more comfortable experience for you.

In time you learn to ride the wave!

Happy surfing!

Sat Sangeet

 

 

P.S. I have taken classes before where

 

I have been experiencing homicidal rage

 

within me...but if I didn't tell anyone

 

they probably wouldn't notice (unless

 

they paid more subtle attention to me)

 

 

 

....because there is a big difference

 

between acting out an emotion and

 

experiencing an emotion. There is no

 

emotion that can not be experienced and

 

transformed back to it's original form

 

which is simply energy...through the

 

skill of witnessing, allowing and

 

expressing when necessary...with that

 

knowledge intact, then we begin to give

 

ourselves permission, to express and

 

process rather than repress and stuff

 

emotion until it begins oozing out of

 

our pores.

 

 

 

 

 

"OUR DESTINY IS TO BE HAPPY" - Yogi Bhajan

 

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[Guest guest]

Ola' Keyleun,

Many of us are wired to avoid a sense of fear by quickly (lightning

quickness) connecting with our anger because it gives us some illusion

of control. Crying is a release of fear and sadness and is healing for

the heart.

Do one minute breath (20 seconds inhale - 20 seconds suspend - 20

seconds exhale) after your layout and before you tune out. Do it 5-11

minutes. Connect your mind/being with and through the breath and let the

frequency of the mind match the frequency of your body, which is much

slower. Split the moments with your presence and relaxed focus..

Sometimes our greatest fear is that the world we felt on our inside can

actually be the world we live in....then we start thinking and we get

anxious. It's important to remember that it's all play. The word

illusion come from the Latin "il ludory"* which means to play. Do the

breath. It will open your Pranic body (fearlessness vs. fear) and allow

you feel a sense of pure containment and a feeling of playfulness. Draw,

write, authentic dance, whatever you do, just don't let it bring you

down. Allow what's inside to come out.

Be kind to your future.

Sat Nam,

Dharam

 

 

 

*ludo: to play, sport; imitate, banter; delude, deceive

lusi: to play, sport; imitate, banter; delude, deceive.

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Keyleun:YOu have already received some excellent advice from SatSangeet,

Dharam and others, and I think their advice is helpful and wise and useful for

all of us (So thank you folks).You ask why you cannot be laughing and cheerful

instead of the opposite -- but be patient because you will get there too.

Dharam mentions "be kind to your future", and I say also be kind to yourself.

For many years, I did not like the "loving kindness to yourself" phrase because

I equated it with being self-centered and selfish, however, not anymore, I am

older and (hopefully heading a little in the wise direction). Also, allow

yourself to be, just be. There is nothing wrong with crying. It cleans the

eyes, and all that is inside that needs to be cleaned. I think too often women

(and it may be the same for men - I am just not used to thinking like a man -

not being one) do not allow themselves to be. It is not only dangerous for

ourselves, but even so for those of us with daughters. We have to twice as

aware, because we do not want to pass on the lack of awareness and non-allowance

to the next generation. Have you ever watched a video of some party or other

occasion in which many of your friends including yourself are part? I have, and

have sometimes said to myself quite unconsciously, now that is quite an

interesting woman, and guess who I was thinking of - myself. Well, if I can

find myself interesting and all those nice qualities in the video, surely, I

should be able to recognise them in myself in real life, right? It is the hard

part to do so though, and extra awareness is needed. Secondly, I have also gone

through a phase in my life when I just could not cry. I would hope and hope

that I could just cry it all out, but I could not. So, don't worry, you are

doing just fine. YOu are absolutely OKAY. We are all very fortunate to have

chosen this path and to have fellow KY-sadhaks.

Sat Nam allLyn

 

 

 

 

The New Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Friends,

 

Sat Nam.

 

I have just sent out #64 NMB Taurus -- From Satotage to Satisfaction. I have

covered the topic of anger and how to deal with the negative emotions as they

come up. Try out the ideas I suggest and let us know your experiences.

 

Blessings,

 

Gururattan Kaur