Guest guest Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 I have been reading your posts andI can't begin to say how much they have helped and answered most of my questions. However, lately after mediation I feel angry or like crying. When I'm meditation I don't feel this way and I used to feel this energy when I first started. I have been consistantly been doing KY for about 23 days. I stared before but couldn't seem to keep the schedule. Anyway, I thought I was beyond the anger of ex- husband, and try clearly to think positivly but now this comes and goes but while it's there I feel like I've lost what I was searching for. Which is peace. I don't know how to deal with it or not..... Can someone shed some light on this or me please. Is this reaction of losing control a good thing? Why am I not losing control and laughing or doing something positive? How do I work through this and release it. It can be overwhelming at times. I don't like how I feel about anything when I have these feelings. Most of the time I am happy and I can't wait to do my KY but latly I have to push myself because of these emotions. I don't like these feelings. Any advice? I do SatANamA and I also started Ra Ma Da Sa. Bright Blessings, Sat Nam, Keyleun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 Dear Keyleun, You asked if any one can shed some light on your concerns about feeling a strong response of anger? I can share my experience? I think having this intensity of emotion arising stops alot of people dead in their tracks when they first begin a practice of KY....I would begin by saying...I can relate and you are not alone in this experience by any means.... We all have layers upon layers of emotion and thoughts built up within us....if we keep moving through the layers eventually...we strike gold...we find the root....the one thought, all others were built upon...and then we can heal it and the book closes on that "particular" story. Some books have "many" chapters! So it takes the time it takes...to heal something, depending on how ingrained it is in your psyche....so thinking you've healed something and then seeing it come up again...is very "normal" in that you've just come to another layer or nuance of it. When I experience anger rising, I begin to recognize that my defence mechanism has been set off....meaning the ego has been threatened and I am now expereincing a strong reaction that is out of proportion to the current event...which leads me to believe, there is something "beneath" the anger that has been touched upon...some unhealed part of myself that feels threatened in some way. I find the more I can sit with the anger rather than get caught up in..."my God.. why am I angry again?" or whatever the reaction is, you have to feeling angry... the more I can go beneath the surface to see what's underlying the anger. For me...there is always a floodgate of tears/grief under anger? and I know now if I can let myself get to the point of tears, by being with the anger without acting it out... the tears will cool the anger...and then when we let go of grief we are left with a greater capacity to connect with our inner being. When the emotions are stuck...we lack that connection...when they flow..it clears the path. In the moments of connection we can recieve guidance, understanding, light....healing....and the ability to be more fully our true nature. I think we in general as a society have huge fear of emoting....I think we need to change that....having emotions doesn't mean we are unstable or something is the matter with us....it's called living and being human. Having a strong emotional reaction is just a sign post saying hey look over here..something needs your attention... Some people feel like they might die if they were to actually express how they feel....I think the anger comes from not having the opportunity to express how we feel in an appropriate way....we don't give ourselves or each other the time to process emotion at the time that it arises so we stuff and stuff it...and it begins to spill out eventually. So to remedy all the stuffing we have been doing...we need to begin feeling it all and processing it... So it is a good thing that you are noticing how much anger you are harboring....now it's time to walk a little deeper into your closet and see what's hanging behind the anger and begin to throw away that which needs to be let go of...until all that is left is that feeling of unshakeable peace that you desire. So I would suggest expressing your feelings in what you would consider a safe enviroment, when you feel overcome...and continue to develope the meditative mind...the ability to witness objectively. P.S. feeling the anger or grief post meditation is often what happens...just do your best to keep consciously working with what is arising for you and you'll experience moments in the light and then you'll fall back into the dark for a while, then you'll come back into the light...and the process continues like that until you are healed. May all love surround you, Sat Sangeet Sponsor "OUR DESTINY IS TO BE HAPPY" - Yogi Bhajan To UNSUBSCRIBE from this list, please send a blank email to Kundaliniyoga NO UNSUBSCRIBE REQUESTS TO THE LIST PLEASE!> WEB SITE: kundalini yoga KUNDALINI YOGA ON-LINE TRAINING. Details from kundalini yogaclasses.html Transitions to a Heart Centered World - Gururattan K. Khalsa Ph.D. The most comprehensive source of Yogi Bhajan's Kundalini Yoga sets and meditations available! transitions.html Post your free ad now! Canada Personals Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 oh, m'gosh. this is just what i felt. i went to one ky class (so far) and besides the fact that the asanas were difficult for me, i became so angry and so sad alternately. i thought i was going crazy. i have wanted to return ever since but haven't been able to take myself there because i feel afraid that i will experience feeling out of control again. ---- I think having this intensity of emotion arising stops alot of people dead in their tracks when they first begin a practice of KY....I would begin by saying... Be Love, Berijoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 Sat nam Berijoy....I've taught and have been in many classes where one or several students are crying through a good portion of the class....I had one student come up to me after the 3rd class she took and ask "why do I cry...everytime we begin...I didn't even know I was sad?" This is all good....and the focus is simply to be with it, allowing without fueling it with supporting thoughts, which serves to keep the emotion alive and kicking! If an emotion is like a wave...simply allow it to rise and fall...and then take a moment to notice afterwards that...you survived! ha ha! Then emoting becomes a much more comfortable experience for you. In time you learn to ride the wave! Happy surfing! Sat Sangeet P.S. I have taken classes before where I have been experiencing homicidal rage within me...but if I didn't tell anyone they probably wouldn't notice (unless they paid more subtle attention to me) ....because there is a big difference between acting out an emotion and experiencing an emotion. There is no emotion that can not be experienced and transformed back to it's original form which is simply energy...through the skill of witnessing, allowing and expressing when necessary...with that knowledge intact, then we begin to give ourselves permission, to express and process rather than repress and stuff emotion until it begins oozing out of our pores. "OUR DESTINY IS TO BE HAPPY" - Yogi Bhajan To UNSUBSCRIBE from this list, please send a blank email to Kundaliniyoga NO UNSUBSCRIBE REQUESTS TO THE LIST PLEASE!> WEB SITE: kundalini yoga KUNDALINI YOGA ON-LINE TRAINING. Details from kundalini yogaclasses.html Transitions to a Heart Centered World - Gururattan K. Khalsa Ph.D. The most comprehensive source of Yogi Bhajan's Kundalini Yoga sets and meditations available! transitions.html Post your free ad now! Canada Personals Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 Ola' Keyleun, Many of us are wired to avoid a sense of fear by quickly (lightning quickness) connecting with our anger because it gives us some illusion of control. Crying is a release of fear and sadness and is healing for the heart. Do one minute breath (20 seconds inhale - 20 seconds suspend - 20 seconds exhale) after your layout and before you tune out. Do it 5-11 minutes. Connect your mind/being with and through the breath and let the frequency of the mind match the frequency of your body, which is much slower. Split the moments with your presence and relaxed focus.. Sometimes our greatest fear is that the world we felt on our inside can actually be the world we live in....then we start thinking and we get anxious. It's important to remember that it's all play. The word illusion come from the Latin "il ludory"* which means to play. Do the breath. It will open your Pranic body (fearlessness vs. fear) and allow you feel a sense of pure containment and a feeling of playfulness. Draw, write, authentic dance, whatever you do, just don't let it bring you down. Allow what's inside to come out. Be kind to your future. Sat Nam, Dharam *ludo: to play, sport; imitate, banter; delude, deceive lusi: to play, sport; imitate, banter; delude, deceive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2003 Report Share Posted April 22, 2003 Hi Keyleun:YOu have already received some excellent advice from SatSangeet, Dharam and others, and I think their advice is helpful and wise and useful for all of us (So thank you folks).You ask why you cannot be laughing and cheerful instead of the opposite -- but be patient because you will get there too. Dharam mentions "be kind to your future", and I say also be kind to yourself. For many years, I did not like the "loving kindness to yourself" phrase because I equated it with being self-centered and selfish, however, not anymore, I am older and (hopefully heading a little in the wise direction). Also, allow yourself to be, just be. There is nothing wrong with crying. It cleans the eyes, and all that is inside that needs to be cleaned. I think too often women (and it may be the same for men - I am just not used to thinking like a man - not being one) do not allow themselves to be. It is not only dangerous for ourselves, but even so for those of us with daughters. We have to twice as aware, because we do not want to pass on the lack of awareness and non-allowance to the next generation. Have you ever watched a video of some party or other occasion in which many of your friends including yourself are part? I have, and have sometimes said to myself quite unconsciously, now that is quite an interesting woman, and guess who I was thinking of - myself. Well, if I can find myself interesting and all those nice qualities in the video, surely, I should be able to recognise them in myself in real life, right? It is the hard part to do so though, and extra awareness is needed. Secondly, I have also gone through a phase in my life when I just could not cry. I would hope and hope that I could just cry it all out, but I could not. So, don't worry, you are doing just fine. YOu are absolutely OKAY. We are all very fortunate to have chosen this path and to have fellow KY-sadhaks. Sat Nam allLyn The New Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2003 Report Share Posted April 23, 2003 Dear Friends, Sat Nam. I have just sent out #64 NMB Taurus -- From Satotage to Satisfaction. I have covered the topic of anger and how to deal with the negative emotions as they come up. Try out the ideas I suggest and let us know your experiences. Blessings, Gururattan Kaur Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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