Intro & White Tantra / inner vs. outer world

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Adi Shakti Kaur,

 

I share your feelings about feeling more connected and yet more isolated at

the same time. I used to live close to a group practicing KY, and have now

moved and am the only one in my area of England who practices.

 

I can do my practice and feel great... quite happy to sit on my own, but

then when I go out and interact with others, seem to so easily loose, that

'something' that I had before.

 

Funnily enough I was reflecting just this morning as I woke up, that I

wonder whether I am *more* or *less* crazy since I started practicing my

yoga. Sometimes it definitely seems like *more*, but I think it's probably

the case, that I was a little mad before, but just not *aware* of it,

*grin*.

 

Sometimes I get in touch with a deeply compassionate part of myself, and go

through my day, unworried by the fact that noone else seems to share my

world, i.e. want to connect and honour the spirit within eachother in the

'real' world, i.e. day to day life, and at other times, I feel isolated, and

that most other people around me, especially in the workplace, are off their

rockers... and quite insane. And it's at those times, when I fall into the

disillusion that others are 'so different' from me, that I feel the worse,

and would rather stay in, feeling quite happy to be on my own, like you

said, stable and connected with your own practice and experience, but

loosing it somehow when you have to go out into the world. And sometimes,

saying to yourself that you will make an effort to go out into the world,

and vibrate your Sat Naamm, just doesn't seem to work. Despite, all good

intentions.

 

I've been practicing about 3.5 years, now and am wondering, those of you who

have been practicing longer, what your experiences were when you were

starting out. Did you sometimes wonder whether you were more of a mess than

you were before you started? That struggle and confusion between the

imminence and transendence, living fully and yet dying to your self (with a

little 's'), your practice going deeply within, then struggling to manage to

integrate your inner experiences and growth into the rest of your life,

workplace, the 'outer' world etc?

 

In truth,

 

Krishan Shiva Kaur

 

-

"kathy overstreet" <quietthunder

kundalini yoga

Saturday, April 26, 2003 1:35 PM

Kundalini Yoga Intro & White Tantra

 

 

> Sat Nam~

>

> My name is Adi Shakti Kaur. (that still feels weird...i recently got my

spiritual name I am in the Teacher's Training in San Leandro, California.

The training will be completed in May.

>

> I look forward to connecting on-line with this community.

>

> I work in the mental health field as an occupational therapist. I am a

single mom of a 14 y/o daughter.

>

> I saw someone's post on White Tantra. I did White Tantra in March. Things

have been, in some ways, more challenging since then. As, it seems that

things don't make as much sense in my world. Meditation is GREAT and DEEP

and i feel very connected AND.....then i have to navigate in THE WORLD! So,

I feel both more connected and more isolated at the SAME time.

>

> I'd love to hear from others on this.

>

> blessings~

> Adi Shakti Kaur

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> "OUR DESTINY IS TO BE HAPPY" - Yogi Bhajan

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[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Krishan Shiva Kaur~

 

I love the questions you posed to the group. I will also look forward to

hear from more of the others.

 

Thank you Sat Sangeet Kaur....your words helped to light my path a bit more

clearly.

 

It is nice to know this community is here for sharing with.

 

I get the "integration" concept....for just this day....i feel as though i

am beginning to integrate the inner and outer world a bit better. I have

been practicing daily surrender and that seems to help. When i see something

that "doesn't make sense", or feel something that "doesn't make sense" ...i

just let it not make sense. Trusting that the Universe/Great Spirit/God is

making sense of that which i cannot. It is really a big giant waste of my

time to MAKE SENSE of everything.

 

And then......

 

in that moment of surrender.....

 

it starts to make sense

 

becoming zero~

Adi Shakti Kaur