Anger, how do you let it go?

[Guest guest]

I realize that I spend much of my energy in anger. I don't mean to

its not something I want in my life. It is so hard to let go of

things. How do you balance between being assertive, and being

consumed by anger?

Please any help would be greatly appreciated.

Sat Nam

T Lee

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Lee:

You ask a very good question. I say it is very good, because I have personal

experience with what you may be experiencing. Please understand, that when we

feel angry, almost all of the time, it is because our anger though triggered by

an outside event, is on the contrary, related to a personal unresolved issue

within ourselves. Thus, for example, if I see my bright student not performing

well on an exam, I get angry, however, if I stop to think why I am angry at her,

I realise that only 2% of my anger is at her, and the rest is at myself, beacuse

I know I tend to procrastinate too much, wait to do things at the last minute

too much, and hence do not accomplish what I know could be a much better outcome

than the one I see take place. Here is what may be helpful:

 

1. Each time you get angry, ask yourself why; and in the beginning all the

reasons you will give yourself for being angry will be external. Let that be,

but soon even when you are not consciously thinking of the situation, ceratin

other reasons will surface which will be much more your own hang-ups rather than

externally derived. Leave them be too, just observe the whole process of you

"telling yourself" first the surface issues and then the deeper issues.

2. Then as you meditate (yes deep and long meditation is essential), from the

middle of nowhere further reasons will surface as to why certain incidents made

you angry, and furthermore, solutions will arise as to how you can fix the

issues. However, once again be careful, because "we" are very good at tricking

ourselves, and very often the solutions that arise might just be cunning tricks

played by our ego on ourselves. I say they may be cunning tricks because they

may just be ways to not really solve the problem in its entirety but ways to

salvage our bruised ego. Once again just observe all these thoughts - solutions

and all arise, and continue to meditate. Finally with time you will be able to

separate the fluff (ego-soothing solutions), from the real solutions that do

eliminate the real source of the anger and with it the anger.

3. Having done this for a while, after certain incidents that used to raise your

body temperature by quite a bit, will just pass by and you will wonder why other

people overreact so much. Incidents similar to ones you encounter now, and

which drive you nuts, will be incidents in which you sit back calmly and watch

others also behave the way they used to, however, you in your altered state will

wonder what makes them so angry and feel even some amusement at their almost

childish behavior.

 

So, to summarize:

1. step back

2. observe

3. continue observing

4. act on deeper problems

5. !!no anger!! --- letting go happens slowly

 

And to address one last thing you mention. Being assertive and calm versus

being assertive and furious -- which of the two would really demonstrate

assertiveness? If a person is calm, well everyone knows there is nothing to

hide and hence the person does not need to scream. But of course the key is

meditation and listening to your inner self during meditation.

 

Watch for the Light!! It's there.

 

 

Lee <trevorslee wrote:

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Lyn,

 

I owe great regards to you for guiding on the subject of Anger in your mail to

"Lee", it was a real eye opener to me, i could very much relate to the matter

you have described, since, sometimes i get really furious on ridicul issues

,which, when i sit back & think i really wonder, was tht me??

 

But, as u have mentioned its all the things accumulated in our mind, the

procrastination, depression, failures & frustration which piles with time & is

thrown out in these instances. I have also observed it is waste of good energy,

deteriorating relationship due to my hyper sensative behaviour.

 

Lyn, since you have understood this subject is so much depth, i wish to bother

you with few querries i have.

I have been an aspirant in seeking depth of KY, i have been meditating since

last 2 years, but not very consistent, i always wanted to be calm quite & a

person who will never hurt someone even in the wildest dreams.

But, unfortunately Lyn, I have come cross some of roughest phase of life, where

my own wife fails to undsertand me & emotions, to describe you an instance,

" My father expired in Dec 2002, it is greatest shock of my life, i lost my self

mentally-emotionally & so were my brothers & my mom....my wife was with me, took

care of me, but fought with me so much tht time , complaining that i did not pay

attention to her. I just failed to understand that how can anyone expect of

attention when there is such a big loss in my life & as an eldest son, it is my

duty to take care of my brothers & mother, when she was in terrible turmoil of

her life" ... this is just one instance, there are many others. She is very nice

to me,but doesnt understand my responsibilities towards my family. This has

caused a deep remorse in mind, a kind of frustration, due to which there are

sometimes emotional outburst & also im a person who will fight injustice back.

Naturally, im very ambitious, want to scale highest position in my career &

provide the best to my family.But, have deep insight of Yoga & Veda's.

I have read some part of RigVeda, i love read & understand it indepth whenever i

find time from my work.

These days i have been meditating , with supreme mantra recitation of ....

"OMMMMM....." since i have a mysterious attraction to Lord Shiva & his physical

despostion in Samadhi. I feel my reverberates when i recite OM , also , i recite

Gayatri Mantra.

 

Lyn, i would be grateful if u can help me suggesting with your indepth

knowledge.

 

 

SAT NAM ,

Nilesh

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Dear Nilesh,

 

I read your mail. Also find that you became aware of accumulation of some

worries or thoughts perhaps in your mind.

 

I would like to suggest few practices, which I feel may help you - when you

damn angry perhaps that time you may hardly in position to think about your

breath or mind - now note that when you are angry you have to observe your

breath - it might be very high and rapid - close your eyes and bring your

mind on your breath, allow it to come to normal breathing - I am sure by

this time your anger would have reduced to a great extent.

 

One more practice is there which purges your mind of unwanted thoughts and

accumulation of images - which may disturbe. The practice is

"Sakshi-bhavana", means to be witness to your own emotions, here what you

need to do is to sit on a comfotable adharasana (sitting position), now

close your eyes, then watch you breath, slowly take mind to thoughts coming

in your mind - be a passisve spectator, do not analyse, think the thought is

good or bad, ugly or beautiful, vulgar or serene, you simply watch the

thoughts - which initially mightly be in crowded and heavy slowly they may

reduce in numbers and finally you may find your mind is blank. Process is

called catharsis of mind cleansing the mind of emotions and make light and

fresh.

 

Sat Nam,

 

K S Iyer

 

>Nilesh Londhe <nilesh_londhe2000

>Kundaliniyoga

>Kundaliniyoga

>Re: Kundalini Yoga Anger, how do you let it go?

>Mon, 9 Jun 2003 00:16:49 -0700 (PDT)

>

>

>

 

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[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Nilesh:

We have to constantly "dig" deeper and deeper to find the real essence of

everything, be it anger at others (and hence our own anger at ourselves), or

compassion.

 

Could it not be true that when someone asks us for help, truly they have been

sent to us to help us? If there is compassion for x, y, and z, surely there

should be compassion for a and b, if the essence of compassion is understood?

Expand on compassion, there is no shortage of it, right?

 

The Gita says, that your efforts can never fall short, the outcome is not upto

you, however, your actions are. Hence, how can you feel that there is any undue

demand on you. Were person a to be replaced by another who might fall into the

"right" category, would there be compassion for that person within you

regardless of all the other circumstances in your life? We are blessed, Nilesh

to be asked for help by someone else, we do not do them a favor, they do us.

 

You like reciting the Gayatri mantra, right? Hav eyou ever tried reciting the

mantra while you gazed into the sky? See how you will feel your whole being

expand, it will seem like there is no shortage of things you can do, a little

more help, a little more of something will seem almost nothing in the real path

of yoga. The essence of the help/compassion/anger has to be understood and it

can be worked out only by ourselves for ourselves. On the journey there are

guides, but the work is each one's alone, we cannot rely on external aids too

much.

 

Try the Kauri Kriya that Seva Simran mentioned. Fill yourself with sound.

 

Sat Nam

 

Nilesh Londhe <nilesh_londhe2000 wrote:

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

SAT NAM Mr. Iyer,

 

Im thankful to u , for taking your time to help me get out of cobwebbed thought

& cleanes the mind.I am aware of the breathing practises but couldnt practise

much. I will surely practise the " Sakshi Bhavana" im confident it will help to

drain lot of impurity in me. I will surely mail u my experience on the same.

Thank you again.

 

Regards,

 

SAT NAM

 

Nilesh

 

 

 

 

 

 

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