Guest guest Posted August 7, 2003 Report Share Posted August 7, 2003 Sat Nam everyone, I've been lurking for a few months now and have posted a few messages, but haven't yet introduced myself. I guess it's time. <s> My spiritual name is Sat Darshan Kaur; my birth name is Martha. I'm a 51 year old homemaker, married to my dear second husband John, a wonderful, spiritual person. He's a vegetarian, though not a yogi, and my best friend, whom I love as my own life. I was introduced to kundalini yoga in the early 70's, and spent a brief time in the Espanola NM and Eugene OR ashrams. I don't know if anyone out there remembers me. <waving shyly> I left 3HO under considerable pressure from relatives, but they're long gone so it would be foolish to blame the detour of my spiritual path on that. Maybe I knew at some level that my learning process demanded that I learn to practice on my own, rather than staying where I could just passively "go along". I feel I've been wandering in a spiritual wilderness all my life, reaching toward a spiritual goal that always seems beyond my grasp. I first became interested in spiritual practice when I read Yogananda's autobiography at age 12, and d to the lessons immediately. Yet, from that day to this, I've had trouble allowing myself to take or make time to do yoga, even though it always makes me feel better. There's always been something I felt I "had to do", whether it was homework, or housework, or cooking, or whatever. John is 62 and took early retirement some years ago, and helps around the house quite a bit. My one son is grown up and teaches college in another state. There's no reason I couldn't take as much time to do yoga as I'd sensibly want... except this weird and strange feeling of "stuckness" that seems to hold me back. I don't know if it's lack of confidence, lack of discipline, lack of self-worth, or perhaps fear of what I'll find if I let the mind's incessant, compulsive chatter die down. Analysis is simply another way to avoid taking action. It's not just the yoga I seem to thwart myself at; there have been many things in my life I wished to do, but don't seem able to generate the "burning desire" to bring thought into action. I dropped out of college after one year. At one time I thought I'd write a health/diet book, but I couldn't get it together to finish that either. I'm a champion procrastinator at things large and small. Some examples: I have messages I've been feeling guilty about not answering for over a year, and last week I put up curtains I washed and got ready last October. (I haven't properly finished fitting them to the windows yet, and with my past performance, it's anybody's guess when _that_ will happen.) I know everyone procrastinates, but this is beyond all reason. "We have met the enemy, and he is us!" <rueful laugh> All that is just "stuff", and maybe it doesn't matter. But sadhana is vitally important, and, with half my life behind me, more or less, it's way past time to get going. I remember a few basics, but after 30 years' absence, I'm almost like a beginner. I do have a time-yellowed copy of _Kundalini Yoga/Sadhana Guidelines_, and I remember some basic asanas and mantras. I have a couple of things going for me physically, having been fortunate to have remained vegetarian and avoided drugs over the years, and stayed slender and fairly fit. With the advance of years I do notice a twinge or two that may be arthritis, and a tendency to easy injury/slow healing that I have to be careful of. (I sprained my back in January doing Vatskar kriya, rocking too hard in exercise #4, I presume, and it hurt until just recently.) I need to make a definite plan of action: what time to get up, how long to spend on sadhana, what exercises to include, and then just commit myself to do it. I need to make it challenging but possible, and to build slowly but steadily, so as to reinforce a sense of success and confidence in the endeavor. It's a matter of decision and commitment, as well as proper selection of the program. Since I really feel I have no idea what I'm doing, this is not an easy matter. ("Do something, even if it's wrong", is how I sprained my back... ) Going to classes or spending time at an ashram is unfeasible; the nearest ashram is about 200 miles from my home. I need to work with books, DVDs, the online lessons, etc. for instruction. Most of all, I need to get my rear in gear and keep up, if I can only somehow find the inner strength and determination. Please, HELP!!!! Any suggestions for selection of routines, instructional materials, how to convince myself to quit work in time to eat dinner in time to get to bed in time to get up, etc., would be Deeply and Gratefully appreciated. I thought of the Guru Ram Das mantra on page 105 of the manual, because I really need for the impossible to become possible, as Yogiji said in the comments - and/or the one on page 102 for habituation, because I am such a workaholic and also overly obsessed with eating "perfectly" (a reaction against unhealthful/overeating habits in younger days) - and/or something for anxiety, which is a serious problem for me. As to choice of physical kriyas, I'm at a loss, and somewhat hesitant to try to teach myself from printed material after my boo-boo last time I tried that, so would love to get some experienced input and guidance. I've been thinking of ordering Nirvair Singh's course on DVDs but hesitating because I don't want it to be yet another thing I started but don't continue, and also am not sure whether it would be at the right level, since I do have a little experience. Any thoughts? Thank you so much for being there and listening to all this. I hope someone will have time to answer. I need to do this myself, but I can't do it all by myself, if that makes any sense. Take care and God bless - Love and Light, Sat Darshan Kaur (Martha) :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 7, 2003 Report Share Posted August 7, 2003 Sat Nam Sat Darshan Kaur, Why don't you begin by removing the pressure of getting up early to practice sadhana...and get up at a time that you can reasonable maintian...then you can have it as your goal to work towards rising in the amrit vela? Choose a practice that is sustainable. If you are lacking "umph!" ...you need to light a fire! Energize your navel center and it will help with your ability to commit. When the mind chatters and we listen and go for a ride with it....we lack presence in our being. Recognize your mind revving up on a tangent and then remind yourself to come back to feeling deeply throughout your body. Bring your presence into the here and now and listen. In that moment you will begin to recieve feedback as to why you are struggling. We remove blocks to moving forward by becoming present in our body and allowing all thought, emotion and sensation to simply be, without thinking about it and fueling feelings and thoughts with more like thoughts. The mind can think without us participating in it. We have a beingness which is more than just our mind and thoughts... and you want to connect to "that." Try to get to a point where you can feel all parts of the body at once, equally, paying no more attention to one sensation, thought or emotion than another. And then expand what you feel and sense to include the "space" within the body and you will begin to relate to the pranic flow...the God force. Once you do that you will be hooked...and you'll never not want to practice yoga and meditation again! ha ha! In your practice...practice sensing the breath moving throughout every part of your body...this will keep you present and aware and it will allow you to pay attention to the physical body so that you won't injure yourself during exercises. I believe it matters less, what we actually practice and more, "how" we practice, what we practice. Choose something that is gentle and simply begin. Develope your awarenesss and practice, overtime, and fall in love with the experience. If we don't take the time to notice and be aware during our practice...it's difficult to love it. Practicing a pranayam or Kirtan Kriya are good places to begin....follow Gururattan's on line course. Be responsible for how your body feels as you practice and respond accordingly...go at your own pace. Good luck....we all have the capacity to make these choices, but we have to train the mind to follow the heart. Otherwise the mind will take us in a million directions usaully none of which we desire with our heart to go. May you connect with the energy to "keep up!" Sat Sangeet Kaur Post your free ad now! Canada Personals Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2003 Report Share Posted August 8, 2003 Sat Nam Martha, The Basic Spinal Series, in the Sadhana Guidelines, is an execellent set to start. It's easy, it will adjust your spine and will balance and energize all chakras. Also you can order many videos in this site and you can ask the forum when you have any doubts; that will keep you motivated. Also, if you have time, go to a chiropractor, that will help you with your energy also. Martha James [marthajames] Thursday, August 07, 2003 8:18 PM Kundaliniyoga Kundalini Yoga returning prodigal student requests help Sat Nam everyone, I've been lurking for a few months now and have posted a few messages, but haven't yet introduced myself. I guess it's time. <s> My spiritual name is Sat Darshan Kaur; my birth name is Martha. I'm a 51 year old homemaker, married to my dear second husband John, a wonderful, spiritual person. He's a vegetarian, though not a yogi, and my best friend, whom I love as my own life. I was introduced to kundalini yoga in the early 70's, and spent a brief time in the Espanola NM and Eugene OR ashrams. I don't know if anyone out there remembers me. <waving shyly> I left 3HO under considerable pressure from relatives, but they're long gone so it would be foolish to blame the detour of my spiritual path on that. Maybe I knew at some level that my learning process demanded that I learn to practice on my own, rather than staying where I could just passively "go along". I feel I've been wandering in a spiritual wilderness all my life, reaching toward a spiritual goal that always seems beyond my grasp. I first became interested in spiritual practice when I read Yogananda's autobiography at age 12, and d to the lessons immediately. Yet, from that day to this, I've had trouble allowing myself to take or make time to do yoga, even though it always makes me feel better. There's always been something I felt I "had to do", whether it was homework, or housework, or cooking, or whatever. John is 62 and took early retirement some years ago, and helps around the house quite a bit. My one son is grown up and teaches college in another state. There's no reason I couldn't take as much time to do yoga as I'd sensibly want... except this weird and strange feeling of "stuckness" that seems to hold me back. I don't know if it's lack of confidence, lack of discipline, lack of self-worth, or perhaps fear of what I'll find if I let the mind's incessant, compulsive chatter die down. Analysis is simply another way to avoid taking action. It's not just the yoga I seem to thwart myself at; there have been many things in my life I wished to do, but don't seem able to generate the "burning desire" to bring thought into action. I dropped out of college after one year. At one time I thought I'd write a health/diet book, but I couldn't get it together to finish that either. I'm a champion procrastinator at things large and small. Some examples: I have messages I've been feeling guilty about not answering for over a year, and last week I put up curtains I washed and got ready last October. (I haven't properly finished fitting them to the windows yet, and with my past performance, it's anybody's guess when _that_ will happen.) I know everyone procrastinates, but this is beyond all reason. "We have met the enemy, and he is us!" <rueful laugh> All that is just "stuff", and maybe it doesn't matter. But sadhana is vitally important, and, with half my life behind me, more or less, it's way past time to get going. I remember a few basics, but after 30 years' absence, I'm almost like a beginner. I do have a time-yellowed copy of _Kundalini Yoga/Sadhana Guidelines_, and I remember some basic asanas and mantras. I have a couple of things going for me physically, having been fortunate to have remained vegetarian and avoided drugs over the years, and stayed slender and fairly fit. With the advance of years I do notice a twinge or two that may be arthritis, and a tendency to easy injury/slow healing that I have to be careful of. (I sprained my back in January doing Vatskar kriya, rocking too hard in exercise #4, I presume, and it hurt until just recently.) I need to make a definite plan of action: what time to get up, how long to spend on sadhana, what exercises to include, and then just commit myself to do it. I need to make it challenging but possible, and to build slowly but steadily, so as to reinforce a sense of success and confidence in the endeavor. It's a matter of decision and commitment, as well as proper selection of the program. Since I really feel I have no idea what I'm doing, this is not an easy matter. ("Do something, even if it's wrong", is how I sprained my back... ) Going to classes or spending time at an ashram is unfeasible; the nearest ashram is about 200 miles from my home. I need to work with books, DVDs, the online lessons, etc. for instruction. Most of all, I need to get my rear in gear and keep up, if I can only somehow find the inner strength and determination. Please, HELP!!!! Any suggestions for selection of routines, instructional materials, how to convince myself to quit work in time to eat dinner in time to get to bed in time to get up, etc., would be Deeply and Gratefully appreciated. I thought of the Guru Ram Das mantra on page 105 of the manual, because I really need for the impossible to become possible, as Yogiji said in the comments - and/or the one on page 102 for habituation, because I am such a workaholic and also overly obsessed with eating "perfectly" (a reaction against unhealthful/overeating habits in younger days) - and/or something for anxiety, which is a serious problem for me. As to choice of physical kriyas, I'm at a loss, and somewhat hesitant to try to teach myself from printed material after my boo-boo last time I tried that, so would love to get some experienced input and guidance. I've been thinking of ordering Nirvair Singh's course on DVDs but hesitating because I don't want it to be yet another thing I started but don't continue, and also am not sure whether it would be at the right level, since I do have a little experience. Any thoughts? Thank you so much for being there and listening to all this. I hope someone will have time to answer. I need to do this myself, but I can't do it all by myself, if that makes any sense. Take care and God bless - Love and Light, Sat Darshan Kaur (Martha) :-) "OUR DESTINY IS TO BE HAPPY" - Yogi Bhajan To UNSUBSCRIBE from this list, please send a blank email to Kundaliniyoga NO UNSUBSCRIBE REQUESTS TO THE LIST PLEASE!> WEB SITE: kundalini yoga KUNDALINI YOGA ON-LINE TRAINING. Details from kundalini yogaclasses.html Transitions to a Heart Centered World - Gururattan K. Khalsa Ph.D. The most comprehensive source of Yogi Bhajan's Kundalini Yoga sets and meditations available! transitions.html Your use of is subject to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2003 Report Share Posted August 8, 2003 I was moved by your e-mail as I have found myself over the years in similar patterns where I needed to get things done and somehow got sidetracked (that "stuckness" you speak of ). I agree with Sat Sangeet that you should work with your navel or power center. I call this my Nike center it helps me "Just Do It !" I too read Parahamsa's biography and was deeply moved by it. My practices became much more consistent as a result. I suggest maybe reading it again to get that original fire back. Try to do some yoga practices each day. Even if it is only 15 minutes. You will notice the benefits and soon look forward to your daily practice. I like to ride my bike for cardiovascular exercise. Ideally, I will go 10 miles. On certain days I did not have the mental energy to go 10 miles so I did not ride at all. After a while I came to realize that if I can't (don't feel like) going 10 miles, at least go 4 which I find quite easy. I am always glad that I did. Hope this helps and good luck, Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2003 Report Share Posted August 8, 2003 Sat Darshan Kaur, I am 54 years old. I lived in 3HO ashrams in L.A., Phoenix, Santa Fe, Albuquerque and Washington D.C. from Spring, 1971, through Fall, 1973. Then, I returned to Wisconsin to complete school. Though I read widely in various spiritual disciplines and occasionally attempted to meditate, I did not practice yoga for twenty years after that. In the early 1990's, with 4 kids and my own law practice (civil rights), and having returned to the Presbyterian Church of my childhood, I still felt something was missing. I felt the need to go deeper in spiritual exploration; to make a sincere effort to meet God. I decided to dust off my teacher training manual from Phoenix and start doing a sadhanna. I started out with just 3 exercises from the spinal set: spinal flexes ( in easy pose and sitting on heels) with breath-of-fire and a variation of cobra (in which one performs a series of repetitions rocking back from cobra to sitting on heels with forehead on the ground and back to cobra) with long deep breaths. I also chanted, "Ong namo, Guru dev namo," three times at the outset. The whole routine took less than 15 minutes. As I continued every day, it became easier and easier to get up 15 or 20 minutes earlier to do the sadhanna. Before I knew it, I added another exercise -- cat and cow with BOF. I started to notice how good it felt to have a more flexible spine. Soon I was doing the morning navel set and aura-charging series. Over the years my sadhanna has lengthened to 1 1/2 to 2 hours every morning. I now include 31 minutes of Sat Kriya with a cool down of about the same length, as well as time for reading, meditating and, sometimes, chanting. I love it so much, and it is so essential to me, that I do not miss a day even when I'm in trial, on a camping trip with the Boy Scouts or staying in a motel while traveling. The expansion of my sadhanna has occurred naturally, without my forcing it. From time to time a knowing emerges, a gentle prodding within, and I try the next step that I feel I'm being led to. I don't get angry with myself if I backslide on the new component at first. I just pick it up again the next day until it sticks. (I've been doing Sat Kriya for 2 years and 4 months now. I started out with 11 minutes per day, increased to 22 minutes per day when I felt the prompting, and then to 31 minutes per day when that prompt came.) What I'm trying to say is, follow the prompting that you describe you are feeling. Start with something easy that feels good, and go easy on yourself with it. (I still rarely do a cold shower in the morning!) Don't do a "number" on yourself, as Yogiji used to say. The sadhanna energy will carry you, if you let it. And, don't worry, if you miss a day, just pick it up the next day -- or, better yet, in the evening of the same day. I think you will find that, if you go in small steps and gently persist ("keep up"), the sadhanna will gently make time for itself in your day. And, your day will be much enriched by it! Enjoy!!!! Steve Porter Martha James wrote: >Any suggestions for selection of routines, instructional materials, how to >convince myself to quit work in time to eat dinner in time to get to bed in > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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