I had to stop teaching, now my students are stalking me...

[Guest guest]

For about a year and a half I expanded my practice and taught yoga at

a local gym. My curriculum was based just on what I know and what I

had to offer. There came a point where I was teaching more than

learning and eventually my well ran dry. I felt that if my personal

practice was failing, then I wasn't doing my students any good.

Financial problems forced me to take another job, which will

eventually afford me the opportunity to pay for my certification in

yoga instruction. I'm very comfortable with my path, but...

 

Some of my students are coming into my place of employment and

begging me to come back. They are also sending me emails with much

melodrama. It seems the more I try to explain, the more they just

don't understand. I feel like I've failed as a teacher in that they

cannot stop thinking of themselves and consider my present plight.

They are not practicing on their own and feel as if I abandoned

them. For months I told them that I was eventually going to have to

leave.

 

Can anyone suggest how I handle this situation? Am I the selfish

one? Should I continue to teach, even if I feel like it isn't doing

anyone any good? Some words of encouragement or even a good scolding

would do right now, I just don't know if I'm right or wrong.

 

Thank you for any input.

 

namaste.

[Guest guest]

Dear Soul,

 

Your email really touched my heart, I'm sure many teacher's onlist will have

advice to offer.

 

"There came a point where I was teaching more than

learning and eventually my well ran dry. I felt that if my personal

practice was failing, then I wasn't doing my students any good."

 

I too am a teacher.. and have *nearly* given up teaching classes on several

occasions... doubting whether my own sporadic practice 'entitled' me to

teach. Doubting whether yoga is even the path for me, yet still teaching...

doubting whether my students were *getting* anything from my classes since

my own life seemed to be in such a mess.

 

There's no doubt that regular personal practice is what will enrich your

lessons and give you a substance and depth that you can share with your

students. However don't feel bad if you are going through challenges or

*lazy* spots with your own practice. Just be authentic. Be honest with

yourself. And as much as you can be authentic with your students.

 

I once asked my learned teacher, how can I teach, when I know nothing? When

I've no real experience. He told me that when I was feeling doubtful,

before I go in to teach a class, to remember one of my personal strengths

(in my case being authentic) and tune in knowing you have that strength to

share.. and trust that the rest will come.

 

I continually have to deeply hand it over to the higher power before I teach

a class... and I know that's what we're *supposed* to do anyway... but I

think that's really the only way. Know where your strengths lie, whether it

be your honesty, your kindness, you empathy.. and bring that to mind. Be

real, then you can relax into your Self. You don't have to be anything

else.

 

My own practice changes as I do. At the moment, I realised that the main

thing I need to do is Left Nostril breathing... so that's all I'm doing

right now.. and that's fine. Don't feel pressured by thinking about what

you *ought* to be doing, feeling or thinking. Just look inside and allow

yourself space to be yourself... and everything else will flow.

 

I remember a while back... I had a lot of resistance to my KY pratice, I

would wake up in the morning and it would feel like I was fighting my way

through a thorn bush doing every exercise. It took me well over a year to

admit to myself that something was not working.. as I thought, no I *should*

be able to do my kriyas, this is what I'm *supposed* to be doing... and I

pushed the fact that it wasn't working for me.. to the sides of my

awareness. That is I ignored my feelings. Needless to say, it all blew up

in my face one day and I crashed realising that I had been ignoring my inner

feelings for a long time. Too much masculine drive and intellectualness and

not enough feminine receptivity and feeling. So I stopped everything, quit

my Level 2 teacher's training course that I was doing at the time, stopped

my practice. And for several months did nothing and became really

depressed, doubting whether I would *ever* find a path that I jived with.

 

Slowly, a feeling started to bubble up in me that all I wanted to do was be

myself. And the blockages and struggle I had been feeling had been coming

from trying to be a perfect yogi. I started doing some simple mindfulness

meditations, just becoming aware of body sensations, and breath.. and pretty

soon was feeling better again (and eventually rejoined my Level 2 course).

Becuase I'd given myself *permission* to feel what I was feeling, and not

*judge* it.. and in that moment do what I *needed* to do for myself rather

than what I thought I *ought* (i.e. someone else's opinion) to be doing.

 

Now I'm gradually starting to enjoy my practice again, KY and mindfulness

meditation.. and have realised that I needed to re-evaluate why I do my

practice.. i.e. is this actually helping me to feel better?

For me, it was a matter of bringing things in to balance. Helping myself

find things that were more calming and grounding.. as well as the KY which

can sometimes be too stimulating for me.

 

Throughout all of the above I continued teaching.. and dispite my own

personal story and drama, my students continued to benefit from the

teachings.

 

I guess I may have rambled a bit, partially because I'm on my way out the

door for the weekend, but I picked up in your email that you're struggling..

feeling like you *ought* not to feel the way you do. Acceptance is

first...don't feel guilty but instead let yourself feel what you are

feeling.. and you'll open up new spaces inside yourself to be able to

understand why things are going the way they are.

 

I know there are many points in your email that I haven't touched upon,

perhaps others can help more with those.

 

I wish you all the best... blessing of authentic being and love to you.

 

Krishan Shiva Kaur x

 

 

 

-

"Mary Kathryn" <yogaonthego

<Kundaliniyoga>

Friday, November 07, 2003 3:36 AM

Kundalini Yoga I had to stop teaching, now my students are

stalking me...

 

 

> For about a year and a half I expanded my practice and taught yoga at

> a local gym. My curriculum was based just on what I know and what I

> had to offer. There came a point where I was teaching more than

> learning and eventually my well ran dry. I felt that if my personal

> practice was failing, then I wasn't doing my students any good.

> Financial problems forced me to take another job, which will

> eventually afford me the opportunity to pay for my certification in

> yoga instruction. I'm very comfortable with my path, but...

>

> Some of my students are coming into my place of employment and

> begging me to come back. They are also sending me emails with much

> melodrama. It seems the more I try to explain, the more they just

> don't understand. I feel like I've failed as a teacher in that they

> cannot stop thinking of themselves and consider my present plight.

> They are not practicing on their own and feel as if I abandoned

> them. For months I told them that I was eventually going to have to

> leave.

>

> Can anyone suggest how I handle this situation? Am I the selfish

> one? Should I continue to teach, even if I feel like it isn't doing

> anyone any good? Some words of encouragement or even a good scolding

> would do right now, I just don't know if I'm right or wrong.

>

> Thank you for any input.

>

> namaste.

>

>

>

>

> "OUR DESTINY IS TO BE HAPPY" - Yogi Bhajan

>

> To UNSUBSCRIBE from this list, please send a blank email to

> Kundaliniyoga

> NO UNSUBSCRIBE REQUESTS TO THE LIST PLEASE!>

>

> WEB SITE: kundalini yoga

>

> KUNDALINI YOGA ON-LINE TRAINING. Details from

> kundalini yogaclasses.html

>

> Transitions to a Heart Centered World - Gururattan K. Khalsa Ph.D.

> The most comprehensive source of Yogi Bhajan's Kundalini Yoga sets and

meditations available!

> transitions.html

>

> Your use of is subject to

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam...

 

That was a very beautiful and inspired response that

Krishan Shiva Kaur gave....thank you, you inspired

me as well! ha Ha!

 

Mary Kathryn ....I'll offer a perspective from the

angle of healing...

 

You could view all of your students as different

aspects of yourself. What they have to say to

you and how they interact with you...is some

reflection of what is going on within your own

psyche.

 

We all have many "people" within us and they

all have says in our thoughts and actions, until

we can consciously look at them and begin to

integrate those parts of ourselves...let the crap

go and keep the rest!

 

I think focusing on..."am I right or wrong"?? Is

ultimately...a road leading nowhere....but if you

take that out of the equation and just begin to look

at the messages that the students are giving

you...and it might not be what they are saying..it

might just be how you feel when they say it, that

is the message.....and begin to work with those

feelings and emotions that you are

experiencing....rather than looking at it as a

problem between me and them...just relax them

from the equation and bring it inside and work

with it from the point of view of... this is a

reflection of my internal landscape...and now

what do I need to work on in order to experience

some peace around this?

 

When we work with something at the level of

manifestation we will never see results that

stick. ie. These students are not happy with

this decision I made so...if they would stop

hassling me...I would feel okay then. (This is

from the point of view that the problem/challenge

resides outside of myself...and the cure comes

from the external world). But through continuing

a spiritual practice we come to understand that the

entire world is within us and all of our enviroments

are really a reflection of what is happening within

us...so to find the cure or transformation... we need

to work at a deeper level, which would be the

emotions and thoughts within us that produce

our current circumstances. In this way we find a

cure from within.

 

The thought that I am having, is that you are

"waiting"..saving money etc. so that you can

take this certification course and increase your

understanding etc...but the enviroment is sending

you a message, that transformation starts right

here, right now...you don't have to "wait" to have

this experience of growth you are looking for...your

current life situation *is* your schoolground....if you

get the money to go and get some training great...but

if you don't, it doesn't stop or limit your ability to

continue growing inspite of that.

 

More training, doesn't do squat...it's the *practice*

of the training that transforms. Putting the teachings

into practice...and there are a million books around

that lay out the teachings....and spend time with

people who "light your fire"...spirituality is contagious!

 

Blessings,

Sat Sangeet kaur

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post your free ad now! Canada Personals

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam

 

I sometimes feel concerned with interactions between myself and the clients

who are coming to me. I found this answer to another's problem helpful and

insightful, thank you.

 

Vanessa JM Buck

Stress Manager

 

79 Tollers Lane

Coulsdon

Surrey

CR5 1BF

Appts/Home: 01737 551558

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Krishan Shiva Kaur...krishanshivakaur

 

And, as a ripple effect, your email to Mary Kathryn really touched my Heart. I

am not a teacher...but I am a student longing to learn.

I read somewhere that "when the student is ready, the Teacher will show up."

Well, perhaps the opposite is also true that "when the Teacher is ready, the

student will show up...and insist to receive the teachings" No matter how little

or how much knowledge you feel you have to share, by all means please, share it.

For instance...simply reading your comments about being authentic, and tuning in

on one personal strenght was a great lesson learned for me today.

My heartfelt gratitude and blessings go to all the teachers...with a special

thought of encouragement for Mary Kathryn.

 

Humbly...

Francine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Protect your identity with Mail AddressGuard

 

 

[Guest guest]

Thank YOu SAT Sangeet,

I really needed this message although I come across

the jest of it so many times I am finding it hard to

stick to it and work at that the level .

I find I still react profusely to the external

circumstances.

 

I think there is a hard balance between coping up with

external circumstances and health going hand in hand.

Is this right? Can we still achieve peace with pain

radiating based on circumstances...

 

I dont know when I will get to the phase of staying

myself at PEACE irrespective of circumstances..?

Oh! I am really longing for it.

 

Please bless me.

Akkama

 

 

 

 

Protect your identity with Mail AddressGuard

http://antispam./whatsnewfree

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam!

 

Thanks for the heart-felt answers to this request for help. We all need help

and your students are asking you for help too.

 

I felt that if my personal

practice was failing, then I wasn't doing my students any good.

 

* But your students are telling you that you were doing them a lot of good. So

listen to them. At least hear what they have to say and don't invalidate them.

When you have empathy for them, they can have empathy for you. (Read Don't Be

Nice, Be Real by Kelly Bryson available on www.yogatech.com

 

 

Financial problems forced me to take another job, which will

eventually afford me the opportunity to pay for my certification in

yoga instruction.

 

* This is a legitimate reason -- the need to take care of yourself financially.

So that is part of your being honest with yourself. Could you have one class a

week at another location where the students paid you directly? In fact, ask

them to find it for you and organize it. You will be glad to show up That

offer will prove who really is willing back to get the value you have to offer.

 

Just an idea so that both of you get your needs met. I know the pay at gyms is

very small and no way to earn a real living. I also know that sometimes

students only attend the classes at the gyms because they do not have to pay for

them. So find out their real commitment. They find the place and pay you

directly and you will teach one or maybe two classes a week. If they follow

through, great. You both get your needs met. If not, well, another drama

played to the end.

 

I'm very comfortable with my path, but...

 

* Keep listening to yourself. But I do hear two different stories.

 

Some of my students are coming into my place of employment and

begging me to come back.

 

* At least accept the complement.

 

They are also sending me emails with much

melodrama. It seems the more I try to explain, the more they just

don't understand.

 

* You both need to understand the needs of each other.

 

I feel like I've failed as a teacher in that they

cannot stop thinking of themselves and consider my present plight.

 

* We all think of ourselves. The trick is to be honest and think of of

ourseves in a loving way. And also to be honest so we can get our needs met

without being dependent and sneaky or by making excuses.

 

They are not practicing on their own and feel as if I abandoned

them.

 

* Co-dependency at its best. :+)

 

 

For months I told them that I was eventually going to have to

leave.

 

Can anyone suggest how I handle this situation? Am I the selfish

one? Should I continue to teach, even if I feel like it isn't doing anyone any

good?

 

* You are mixing things up here. One, you say that it is not working for you

financially and two, you say you don't feel adequate as a teacher. Don't use

one to justify the other.

 

Some words of encouragement or even a good scolding

would do right now, I just don't know if I'm right or wrong.

 

* Right and wrong never solves any problem. Maybe there is a way to meet both

needs. Maybe by teaching one or two classes a week you can meet their needs and

give yourself time for your other job that you need to meet your own financial

needs.

 

Sat Nam,

 

Gururattan Kaur

 

 

[Guest guest]

You and me both Akkama!! I long for peace in every moment.

I was just reading something where someone gave a

definition of happiness as being based on external

conditions, where as peace was an experience that

was based on nothing but pure beingness. The soul

never suffers...so if we are suffering in our experience,

it's because we are identifying with something besides

our true nature/beingness/soul. In other words Ego.

 

Everyone struggles with this, I would imagine Akkama....we

can't expect to be masterful at something until we have

"learned" how to do it. So in the process of learning how

to do something, we fail and succeed, fail and succeed

(if those are words we'd like to use)..until we fully learn

the skill. We just have to stay as present as we can

in every moment...and if we fail then begin again when

we notice that we have lost our presence.

 

Just remember that everytime you muster some presence

and become conscious within a situation...you naturally

begin to transform the moment...so you move closer

towards that which you long for....peace within and

without.

 

Blessings to all,

Sat Sangeet

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post your free ad now! Canada Personals

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Mary,

Sat Nam. I think that the universe is calling you to come back and it's

using your students' voices. If there was nothing else you had to give

anymore, nobody would look for you after you left. But it seems that your

students need you and they are calling you back. You know deep in your heart

what you really want to do but it's pretty clear to me that there are some

people out there who see you as THEIR TEACHER...so that should answer your

question of whether you have anything to give them or not. This is so

touching what they do...it sounds like it comes straight from their heart.

Congratulations you must be an excellent yoga teacher.

Love and Light

Sat Atma

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam, Ji,

 

In my opinion, it is always a huge mistake to stop teaching. I know

from firsthand experience, because I've stopped teaching a few times in the

past, always with bad results. For one thing, when a teacher stops teaching,

the

students invariably feel that the teacher is letting them down, and they are

right! More importantly, when a teacher stops teaching, not only is he

letting his students down, he is letting himself down. To master something, you

must teach it. Teaching in and of itself forces the teacher to continue to

learn. In class, I always have next to me my briefcase full of past issues of

Aquarian Times magazine, as well as various Kundalini Yoga books and manuals.

While my students are exercising or relaxing, I am frequently leafing through

materials, looking for new things to say that are pertinent to that particular

class. Even more importantly, teaching constantly forces us to confront our

own imperfections and failings, many of which we would otherwise gloss over.

For example, last week I taught a couple of classes on the Navel Chakra. The

things that I said in class motivated me to get back into practicing stretch

pose on a daily basis. Although I have been doing a lot of Sat Kriya the last

few years, I have not been consistent with stretch pose; therefore, I am very

grateful that something got me back into it. While Sat Kriya is definitely

the most important thing in my life, doing stretch pose every day makes me feel

even immeasurably so much more uplifted!

In the past, I have found that, when I stop teaching, I start to

become a real nuisance in conversations. Yogi Bhajan said that if we don't

teach,

all of the undispensed knowledge bottled up inside of us makes us puff up like

toads, and we start trying to lecture and teach in situations when it's not

appropriate. I know there have been times when, during casual conversations,

everyone in the room got to the point where they just wanted me to shut up.

Anyway, typing this response has given me the energy to go and do some

of my daily Sat Kriya, instead of taking a nap like I was planning on before

I saw your email, so thank you very much for the inspiration you

unintentionally have given me.

Please start teaching again as soon as possible. The world needs us to

teach, and it needs us to teach now. There is no time to waste.

Sat Nam. Keep up, and keep in touch.

 

 

S.S. Swami Dev Singh Khalsa

jaapsahib