Kundalini Awakening?

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam everyone -

 

I graduated from the level 1 teacher training in spring 2003.

Needless to say, throughout the nine months to a year before that I

was doing LOTS of KY sets and meditations, and for the 4 to 5 months

before my graduation, sometimes more. Also attended 2 White Tantric

Yoga. I felt great, it was the first time I completed anything, and

had such a wonderful sense of accomplishment and purity in my life.

I had also fallen in love towards the end and still am with (we

moved in together) my wonderful boyfriend. Everything was going

beautifully. Toward the end of teacher training, I noticed "things

happening" (like streetlights going out as I walked under them) but

felt so good and positive about life that I didn't give it much

thought. There was one night walking with my brother that I

mentioned it in passing and the streetlight thing happened. It was

easier for me to get that "light headed warm vibrating feeling"

while holding my inhales during a KY meditation or set - the same

feeling that had freaked me out a little bit the first time I felt

it, a few months into teacher training. I literally felt this

spread up my spine and down my arms and to my palms pressed together

in front of my heart center during a meditation in class the first

time it happened. I had such a peaceful weightless feeling...and

felt "high" afterwards for many days. I said something to my fellow

teacher trainers and they said, "Oh, must have been your kundalini

energy!"

 

The thing is...a few months after training was over, I went back to

the "real working world" and moved to downtown los angeles from the

beach area with my boyfriend. It was quite a shock, culturally and

emotionally. I did have this new found sensitivity, that now was

becoming UNPLEASANT, instead of positive...sudden weightless

sensations, strange tingling/numb sensations, feeling of being

overwhelmed or "blowing a fuse"...I had had panic attacks in the

past, so I figured this had something to do with it. Being back in

the world and far from the yoga studio, Golden Bridge, where I

trained and working all those hours kept me from the steady practice

I had grown accustomed to. Also toward the end of teacher training,

my moon cycles got all out of whack. A doctor said I must have some

sort of hormone imbalance (this started when I was doing lots of KY

and continued when I tapered off a bit). Against his better

judgement, I cleared the problem up with topical progesterone

cream.

 

I then started becoming very fearful and thinking about death and

dying and wondering about how to make peace with it. I tried to

read stuff from Yogi Bhajan about the subject, to ease my mind.

But "panic attacks" with the accompanying strange weightless feeling

kept coming. This was really bad over the course of the winter. I

had also started seeing a wonderful, metaphysically friendly

therapist during this time. Again, it never occured to me that it

might be the kundalini awakening side effects. I'm by nature a very

intuitive, introspective and sensitive person, even before teacher

training.

 

Over the course of about a year, I would go up and down. I would

feel especially strange during the gong meditations at the end of

class. I remember one particular class where I was saying to

myself, "if I died now, here at golden bridge, at least I would

depart in a safe place." Physically, I felt so bizarre I thought it

was possible.

 

I'm also aware that I was going through my fourth cycle of

consciousness (I turned 29 in April, when some of the problems

subsided a bit), and 21 years old was another very difficult time of

my life. I just couldn't explain why I was so tormented by these

thoughts and sensations when everything seemed to be going so well.

I finally had a healthy love situation and lots of support.

 

I found myself at a psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago, who

prescribed Celexa for my panicky feelings and subsequent antisocial

tendencies ( I go out very infrequently now because I feel

overwhelmed and panicky ). THEN QUITE SUDDENLY...as I opened the

bottle to just LOOK at the pills...I recalled that some people have

strange psychotic tendencies/thoughts/behavior as a result of

kundalini awakening...I cannot discount this "coincidence". The

thought just descended out of nowhere, like out of the blue. In all

the months that this was plagueing me, it didn't occur to me that I

might be going through a Kundalini Awakening. It was as though I

was in denial of it the whole time. It wasn't until I had gone

through a psychiatric evaluation and prescribed meds for a low grade

depression that I remembered reading about this somewhere...

 

I haven't had a chance to speak to Gurmukh (my teacher at golden

bridge) about this yet, it was just a few days ago. I just wanted

to know if any of you had anything to share with me, any insight.

Sorry this is so long, I tried to be a concise as possible. Thanks

so much everyone and Sat Nam.

 

Blessings,

 

Elizabeth

[Guest guest]

Dear Elizabeth,

 

Feel your body. Feel every sensation in your body. Be very present in your

body. Feel the energy of the fear wherever you feel it in your body. Be

with it. Be in your body. Keep doing this. You have to bring the energy

back down now.

 

Sat Nam,

 

Gururattan Kaur

[Guest guest]

Dear Elizabeth,

 

Sat Nam!

 

What you have described is very important and I will write more in detail

later. In short, these do sound like Kundalini symptoms and not psychotic

disorders. As I mentioned in my previous email, the basic problem is that

you are not present in your body. You have to integrate the higher energies

in the physical body. You have to feel. You have become ungrounded. Could

be pleasant at times, but it is dysfunctional in this world, especially LA!

 

Let us know what Gurmukh Kaur advises you.

 

Sat Nam,

 

Gururattan Kaur

-

"Elizabeth W." <lizwags4

<Kundaliniyoga>

Monday, August 02, 2004 10:48 AM

Kundalini Yoga Kundalini Awakening?

 

 

> Sat Nam everyone -

>

> I graduated from the level 1 teacher training in spring 2003.

> Needless to say, throughout the nine months to a year before that I

> was doing LOTS of KY sets and meditations, and for the 4 to 5 months

> before my graduation, sometimes more. Also attended 2 White Tantric

> Yoga. I felt great, it was the first time I completed anything, and

> had such a wonderful sense of accomplishment and purity in my life.

> I had also fallen in love towards the end and still am with (we

> moved in together) my wonderful boyfriend. Everything was going

> beautifully. Toward the end of teacher training, I noticed "things

> happening" (like streetlights going out as I walked under them) but

> felt so good and positive about life that I didn't give it much

> thought. There was one night walking with my brother that I

> mentioned it in passing and the streetlight thing happened. It was

> easier for me to get that "light headed warm vibrating feeling"

> while holding my inhales during a KY meditation or set - the same

> feeling that had freaked me out a little bit the first time I felt

> it, a few months into teacher training. I literally felt this

> spread up my spine and down my arms and to my palms pressed together

> in front of my heart center during a meditation in class the first

> time it happened. I had such a peaceful weightless feeling...and

> felt "high" afterwards for many days. I said something to my fellow

> teacher trainers and they said, "Oh, must have been your kundalini

> energy!"

>

> The thing is...a few months after training was over, I went back to

> the "real working world" and moved to downtown los angeles from the

> beach area with my boyfriend. It was quite a shock, culturally and

> emotionally. I did have this new found sensitivity, that now was

> becoming UNPLEASANT, instead of positive...sudden weightless

> sensations, strange tingling/numb sensations, feeling of being

> overwhelmed or "blowing a fuse"...I had had panic attacks in the

> past, so I figured this had something to do with it. Being back in

> the world and far from the yoga studio, Golden Bridge, where I

> trained and working all those hours kept me from the steady practice

> I had grown accustomed to. Also toward the end of teacher training,

> my moon cycles got all out of whack. A doctor said I must have some

> sort of hormone imbalance (this started when I was doing lots of KY

> and continued when I tapered off a bit). Against his better

> judgement, I cleared the problem up with topical progesterone

> cream.

>

> I then started becoming very fearful and thinking about death and

> dying and wondering about how to make peace with it. I tried to

> read stuff from Yogi Bhajan about the subject, to ease my mind.

> But "panic attacks" with the accompanying strange weightless feeling

> kept coming. This was really bad over the course of the winter. I

> had also started seeing a wonderful, metaphysically friendly

> therapist during this time. Again, it never occured to me that it

> might be the kundalini awakening side effects. I'm by nature a very

> intuitive, introspective and sensitive person, even before teacher

> training.

>

> Over the course of about a year, I would go up and down. I would

> feel especially strange during the gong meditations at the end of

> class. I remember one particular class where I was saying to

> myself, "if I died now, here at golden bridge, at least I would

> depart in a safe place." Physically, I felt so bizarre I thought it

> was possible.

>

> I'm also aware that I was going through my fourth cycle of

> consciousness (I turned 29 in April, when some of the problems

> subsided a bit), and 21 years old was another very difficult time of

> my life. I just couldn't explain why I was so tormented by these

> thoughts and sensations when everything seemed to be going so well.

> I finally had a healthy love situation and lots of support.

>

> I found myself at a psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago, who

> prescribed Celexa for my panicky feelings and subsequent antisocial

> tendencies ( I go out very infrequently now because I feel

> overwhelmed and panicky ). THEN QUITE SUDDENLY...as I opened the

> bottle to just LOOK at the pills...I recalled that some people have

> strange psychotic tendencies/thoughts/behavior as a result of

> kundalini awakening...I cannot discount this "coincidence". The

> thought just descended out of nowhere, like out of the blue. In all

> the months that this was plagueing me, it didn't occur to me that I

> might be going through a Kundalini Awakening. It was as though I

> was in denial of it the whole time. It wasn't until I had gone

> through a psychiatric evaluation and prescribed meds for a low grade

> depression that I remembered reading about this somewhere...

>

> I haven't had a chance to speak to Gurmukh (my teacher at golden

> bridge) about this yet, it was just a few days ago. I just wanted

> to know if any of you had anything to share with me, any insight.

> Sorry this is so long, I tried to be a concise as possible. Thanks

> so much everyone and Sat Nam.

>

> Blessings,

>

> Elizabeth

>

>

>

>

>

> Kundalini Yoga - for the best online

selection of Books, Videos and DVDs on Kundalini Yoga, based on ancient

technology as brought to the West by Yogi Bhajan. Also a great range of

beautiful Meditation and Mantra CDs, all with RealAudio sound clips.

> - visit

> Links

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Elizabeth,

 

Sat Nam!

 

You also need to do some physical work to come back into your body -- house

cleaning, gardening, dog walking, washing dishes. Be actively engaged in

something that requires physical movement.

 

Blessings,

 

Gururattan Kaur

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Elizabeth,

 

I have had similar experiences. I have been practicing KY

for just over 5 years now, but when I first began a daily

practice of KY I remember going to my teacher and saying

to him "you know, I thought with a daily practice I would

feel better (because with only practicing twice a week prior

to that I did!) but frankly, I think I am doing worse now!! I

am feeling paranoid, like people hate me and they are

talking about me behind my back etc etc" Lots of crazy

stuff that I had experienced as a child began to come

again, long after i thought I was through with it.

 

At the time my teacher's comment was, "GOOD! You're

getting in touch with your subtle body"...and he walked off.

At the time that basically, meant absolutely nothing to

me....but what I did take away with me is that worsening

symptoms doesn't necessarily equal "I'm not healing

or moving forward".....and through experience I know this

to be true now as well.

 

When you practice KY and Meditation whatever is

suppressed or unconscious and not serving your Soul consciousness, within you

will eventually rise to the

surface of your awareness to be let go of and healed.

This is the process that takes place. To people who

are not aware of thisprocess, it can look like we're all

going crazy ! haha!

But actually we are just healing.

 

In my experience, the more secure and safe one begins to feel (you had mentioned

you are in a comfortable loving relationship now and have the technology of KY

at your finger tips) the more the shit begins to surface....basically because

the enviroment for healing is being cultivated.

 

I am also familiar with panicking and over sensitivity....and although I still

experience this at times, because I understand the process at hand, I am able to

ride the wave, rather then be pulled under by it more successfully.

 

I agree with the suggestions Gururattan gave you...but what was also helpful for

me was having a support system (this can be your teacher or a healer or

basically someone who has been down this road before and survived) that can put

what you are experiencing into perspective for you.

 

The average person doesn't have an understanding of this process...therefore

they give well meaning advice, but it is not always the most Soul promoting

advice if you understand what I mean?

 

Finding someone who can really help you to dwelve into your inner

landscape.....emotions, thoughts, feelings and how these are playing out in your

enviroment, what conditioned them etc etc... and be able to offer healing

support when necessary...can be extremely helpful as you wade through this

experience of clearing, letting go and purifying yourself.

 

I was in LA once and had an interaction with a healer at The Golden Bridge...her

name was Hargopal....perhaps if you spoke to her she could help you ar direct

you to someone who could?

 

All blessings of balance, presence and self-understanding to you,

 

Sat Sangeet kaur

AB, Canada

 

PS I would also mention that deciding to teach

(atleast in my experience) ups the ante in quick

fashion....in terms of sending you into an intense

healing mode. I would imagine that is because if

you presently are not up to speed with what you have

decided to undertake in the form of teaching, then the

Universe brings you up to speed quick, so that you

can move forward with your mission....and that can be

quite intense at times.

 

"

 

 

 

 

Post your free ad now! Canada Personals

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam, Sat Sangeet Kaur:

 

Thank you for taking the time to write this. It is very reassuring

and kind. I have received lots of wonderful feedback. I also want

to thank Gururattan for her kind words. I am so grateful to you all.

 

You are right, Hargopal is the Sat Nam Rasayan healer at golden

bridge in LA. Fortunately, I have access to very kind teachers -

it's just been difficult to "get out" lately, logistically and

otherwise. I have recently decided to change jobs to reduce the

stress in my life. I think working in a high pressure law office

contributed to some of my turmoil...and reinstating my practice will

be helpful. Isn't it amazing that, like YB says, "Keep up, and

you'll be kept up!"

 

I really appreciate your ability to relate, Sat Sangeet, and I love

what you said about teaching...and how it accelerates healing.

Naturally that acceleration would be uncomfortable...there's SO MUCH

healing to be done! And I can't believe I forgot this...with the

Aquarian Age beginning...I mean we learned about this stuff in

teacher training. I guess some things never change...I was very

hard headed in high school too, haha! Took a LOT for things to

penetrate this thick head!

 

It seemed as soon as I got off my "path" - spiritually speaking -

was when these things became UNCOMFORTABLE. When I had to go back

to work, knowing it wasn't what I wanted or needed, etc. etc.

 

I feel much better now just being able to resonate with everyone's

kind words, thoughts and prayers and knowing that I'm headed in the

right direction.

 

Fortunately, this all came before I took any of the

antidepressants. I still haven't and don't plan to. Instinctively,

it just didn't seem right.

 

Blessings and gratitude to all!

 

Elizabeth

Aradhana Kaur