Including children at this time... (sharing info)

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam,

this info was sent to me & I wanted to pass this on to

all of you (:

with many blessings, Jiwan Shakti Kaur

 

 

 

>gurukakaur >gurukakaur

>Fw: Including children at this time of

transition >Thu, 21 Oct 2004 09:35:27 -0600 >

>Dear Teachers, Trainers, Members, > >Please share the

following very helpful information which was put

together >by Dr. Sat Kaur, Dr. Shanti Shanti Kaur, and

Dharam Dev Kaur regarding >working with and including

children during this transition time. > >Blessings,

Guruka Kaur > >October 19, 2004 > >From the Office of

the Secretary of Religion >Compiled by: SS Dr.

Sat-Kaur Khalsa, Secretary of Religion > SS Dr. Shanti

Shanti Kaur Khalsa, Assistant Secretary of >Religion >

SS Dharam Dev Kaur Khalsa, Los Angeles, CA > >Sat Nam,

>We have been asked to help with the children at this

time. As an offering >of guidance and support, we have

compiled the following information and we >hope that

it will be helpful to you in dealing with the younger

children >in your sangats. > >Because children sense

and feel everything and have little context from

>their young life experience, death is often confusing

to a child. It is >important to explain to a child, no

matter how young, what is happening. >It is OK to talk

about death. Actually, it is healthy, necessary, and

>important. > >Here are just some simple concepts you

might want to share with them >written in simple

language for them to understand. > >One of the ways to

foster security and understanding in a child about

>death is to explain what happened, “The Siri Singh

Sahib let go of his >body and now he is all spirit.

His spirit is always with us and will >always be with

us. It is even stronger now than before.†>

>“People around you may be feeling lots of different

feelings. They may >feel sad and cry or feel calm or

happy or upset. This is normal and >healthy. Sometimes

people will cry unexpectedly, like a surprise.

>Sometimes people will cry when they feel love or have

a memory of being >with the Siri Singh Sahib in

physical form.†> >The child may see the adults

around them expressing emotions and not >understand

why. They may even think they caused the people around

them to >feel sad or upset. When you are having

feelings, explain to the child >what is going on with

you no matter how young the child is. > >“I feel sad

right now because I am remembering the Siri Singh

Sahib, and >am missing him right now. The sadness will

pass. Let us be together >anyway.†Expressing what

is happening NOW within you is important. Sharing

>with your child or a child in the sangat can give you

an opportunity to >acknowledge your own feelings and

put words to them. > >Another suggestion is to reframe

your feelings in a positive and uplifting >way for

yourself and the child: “I was thinking of how he

spoke with me >one time when he was alive and how much

love I felt from him in that >moment. I feel love

right now. It will always be in my heart and mind.â€

>“I was thinking about how much I will miss him and

then I remembered that >he will always be with me in

spirit.†Ask them, “What are you thinking >about

right now? How are you feeling?†> >You can explain,

“It is OK to not understand everything at once and

it is >OK to feel whatever you are feeling.†> >Once

the feelings or emotions are expressed and heard, it

might be helpful >to share the guidance we have been

given to process our strong feelings >and stabilize

ourselves: >1) Read from the Guru >2) Spend time with

the sangat >3) Sing >4) Chant >5) Talk about the Siri

Singh Sahib, tell stories, share memories >6) Strong

physical activity, even playful, like running,

swimming, >jumping, etc. > >Just as it is important

for us to stabilize ourselves through routine and

>doing things we normally do to relax and rejuvenate,

the same is true for >children. Take time out to take

a bike ride, read stories to them, draw, >paint, plan

some cozy and relaxing time together. It will be

healing for >both/all of you. It is important that you

make an effort to do some of the >normal things you do

with them. They are the future and we want to make

>them feel cozy and secure, especially through this

transition. > >We suggest you sing the “Lullaby

Song†with your children, to connect them >with

life, with their inner security and joy. > >Tell

children what is happening, even if you think they

won’t understand. >Children take in much more then

we can even imagine, yes, even the >littlest ones.

Children tend to ask the same questions over and over

>again in an attempt to create a context of

understanding a powerful event. > Be patient with them

and repeat the same simple answer to them each time

>they ask. Here are some common questions children are

likely to ask and >some sample answers. > >Child:

“Why did the Siri Singh Sahib die?†>Adult:

“Because his soul’s purpose was fulfilled.â€

>Child: “What happens when we die?†>Adult: “At

the time of death, the soul moves into the subtle

body, then >leaves the physical body.†>Child:

“Where does the soul go?†>Adult: For 17 days the

soul stays nearby in the subtle body receiving the

>prayers and blessings of all the person’s friends

and family. This is why >we chant and pray and sing

and read from the Guru. After 17 days, all the

>person’s Gurus and angels guide and protect the

soul and help it soar into >the blue ethers. There the

soul waits for its next incarnation or merges >with

Infinity, ending the cycles of birth and death. Some

souls choose to >come back to help others. The Siri

Singh Sahib has said, when we die, he >will be there

to help us on our journey. > >You can stop at this

point, or say more, > >“The movement of the soul in

and out of the body is safe and protected. >The soul

comes in the body at 120 days and we have a

celebration to >welcome it. When life is completed,

the soul then leaves the body at the >time of death.

We chant and meditate and read from the Guru with the

>sangat for 17 days to help the soul on its journey.

Just like when you >were born, your soul came in for a

special purpose. When you die, it is >because the

soul’s purpose is fulfilled.†> >Child: “Who

will be the next Siri Singh Sahib? Who will take care

of me? >Who will find my spouse or name my

children?†>Adult: “God, Guru, and your parents

are taking care of you. The Siri >Singh Sahib has

guided and directed who will be in charge of what and

he >wants you to know that his family, his students,

you as his grandchild, >and all our organizations are

secure.†> >“Even though the Siri Singh Sahib left

his body, he is still available to >us for guidance.

There was a time years ago when the Siri Singh Sahib

was >at the Golden Temple and he was having a hard

time. He sat on the >parkarma and asked Guru Ram Das

(who was not in his body) for guidance. >Guru Ram Das

gave him the mantra during the Siri Singh Sahib’s

meditation: >Guru Guru Wahe Guru, Guru Ram Das

Guru.†> >A child may hear the Siri Singh Sahib’s

recorded lecture in Gurdwara or in >your home and say,

“But I heard him speaking today! How can he speak

when >he is not in his body?†Just explain that

“It was a recording of his >voice when he had a

body. He is the master of these teachings and our

>lives are based on these teachings, so we will be

listening and watching >tapes of him often. It is

important that you see and hear him teach, so >when

you grow up, you can teach others.†> >It is best

for the child to hear this information from his/her

parent. >However, if you feel unable to do so at this

time, call a friend that your >child knows and has an

ongoing relationship with. Ask them to share some >of

this information with you child. > >We hope this

information proves helpful to you at this time. May

God ever >bless you. > >Sat Nam. > >