Spiritual Evolvment and Marriage

January 2, 2005

Sat Nam,

Personal issues have slowly been surfacing along the spiritual road for me,

which were expected and reiterrated through various reading. They have also

become much more pronounced, thus making it difficult for me to rationalise them

away. Please know that it is in my complete understanding that we are not all

spiritually inclined or evolved, and must be left to continue on separate paths,

in separate ways. However, over the course of my practice in Kundalini Yoga

practice and religious studies, my earlier beliefs and thoughts once

questionable, have become illuminated, in turn, changing my perspective on

everything. It's as if I have a new set of eyes! Yes, Kundalini Yoga has

brought me closer to my God/Christ Consciousness, and these are all good things.

However, the most difficult, painful, & hurtful, to me of late, is my husband's

lack of spirituality and denial of Christ. This was accepted by me when we

first married, but something has changed on my part, and find that we

are now on totally different plateaus, making it very difficult for me to

connect, and become intimate with him. Has anyone in the group had any

experience with this?

Peace, Love & Light

Monika

Kindest regards,MvGHM

January 5, 2005

I just joined this group. I have been doing meditation for over 25

years, mainly with the Himalyan tradition (Sawmi Rama). I will just

repond to the post by saying that in the last 2-3 years I have become

much more consistant with my practice and I notice the benifits. My

wife is spiritual, but doesn't have the same discipline as I do. I

would love it if we practiced together, but her practice is sometimes

rare and not scheduled. It is also a yoga discipline to allow someone

thier space, and to not allow thier activity to interfere with your

own practice. But we all need intimacy. The question is if you can

still create that outside the context of yoga. I believe it is

possible, but takes the right combination and mutual respect. I do

know of friends who have not made it in marriage when they have been

vastly different in this area. It boils down to a personal level and

being honest with oneself.

shanti

Kundaliniyoga, MHM <mvghm> wrote:

>

> Sat Nam,

>

> Personal issues have slowly been surfacing along the spiritual road

for me, which were expected and reiterrated through various reading.

They have also become much more pronounced, thus making it difficult

for me to rationalise them away. Please know that it is in my

complete understanding that we are not all spiritually inclined or

evolved, and must be left to continue on separate paths, in separate

ways. However, over the course of my practice in Kundalini Yoga

practice and religious studies, my earlier beliefs and thoughts once

questionable, have become illuminated, in turn, changing my

perspective on everything. It's as if I have a new set of eyes!

Yes, Kundalini Yoga has brought me closer to my God/Christ

Consciousness, and these are all good things. However, the most

difficult, painful, & hurtful, to me of late, is my husband's lack of

spirituality and denial of Christ. This was accepted by me when we

first married, but something has changed on my part, and find that we

> are now on totally different plateaus, making it very difficult

for me to connect, and become intimate with him. Has anyone in the

group had any experience with this?

>

> Peace, Love & Light

> Monika

>

> Kindest regards,MvGHM

>

January 6, 2005

I believe that some souls are "younger" than others. Yours is to teach; his

is to learn. At some point I am sure these roles will continue to evolve. How

can You define if a person is "spiritual"? I agree with what Shanti said; in

the yogic world, one has to live and let live.

For the record, I am Jewish; I don't hold it as "Christ" consciousness; but

there is a universal awareness that calls to me while I am in class. We are

all on our own journeys...Ask him to attend a class with you, and allow him to

feel whatever he wants to feel!

seva simran kaur (susan)

January 6, 2005

I have outgrown many intimate boyfriends & a fiancee

by following my spiritual growth to the max. One

counselor I know who works with women assisting them

in their spiritual path called himself the widowmaker,

referring to the death of the relationship they were

in that resulted. He once spoke with me and said

after almost an hour of discussing issues in my

current relationship: "The bottom line is, your

vibrational frequencies just don't match anymore".

More than anything we tralked about the whole hour,

this one sentence helped me realize that the

relationship was doomed.

The back of the book The Love Cards by Robt. Camp has

a wonderful discussion of relationships and states

that to find the person you are to be with, first find

your life mission and make it a priority that the

person you are with is in support of the priorities

dictated by the life mission. Perhaps using this

principle would be useful to you at this point.

I hope you are consoled by knowing you are not alone

with this type of situation. I acknowledge your

commitment to your Path. Blessed Be - all Love &

Peace surround you, all Faith & trust protect you.

Blessing and light from Santa Barbara, California,

Ki

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January 9, 2005

Hello Monika

You have touched a really important issue, how to deal with a relationship where

it appears that you and your partner drift away. Yogi Bhajan once said;

"marriage (and similar relations) are the highest form of yoga". Being married

for almost 20 years I still experience that maintaining a healthy, mature

relation means hard work every day, at least attention every day! In our

relation, I am the more spiritual one and my wife the more earth one. In the

beginning we have had many discussions how to deal with our different spiritual

longings. Your partner has a (spiritual) longing too, but it may be like a seed

in the ground, which does not flower yet. Only with care and little sips of

water Do not "overwater" him, then his seed may drown and rot away! And he will

start to resent you, which will start or increase the disconnetion between you

both. So handle with care, his seed may start growing and flowering. Tell him

your spiritual experiences, but only to the limit he can accept it, then he

feels respected and will accept your growth more easily. That's the way I have

done it with my wife. The remainder of my experience I shared with people of

similar mind and interest. Now she's developing and growing in the same manner

as I do, but not on the same road. But we keep very interested in each other

experiences.

>From your story, I have the feeling that your flowering has become quite mature

by now, which emphazises the difference between you and him. My experience is,

that good and respectful communication is essential to you and also a thorough

understanding of your and his needs. This is very important, because then you

can adress them and find out to what extent you can fulfil his and he can fulfil

your needs. I cannot fulfil all the needs my wife has and vice versa, so that

makes me seek other people to relate to. In the discussions we have we slowly

grew to each other and now I can say, that we have a mature relation. But it

took us both and still takes, a lot of time and energy to maintain it. But now

we both blossom more and more to our full extent and keep on growing. During our

marriage, we read a verse from the poet Kahlil Gibran, out of his book "the

prophet" about marriage. Two lines are still my directives in my relation;

"allow each other to drink, but do not drink out of the same cup", meaning that

you give your partner space to experience his/her own experience and necessarily

do not everything together!! I think this error is often made, that you want to

do everything together. The other line is "An oak and a cypres do not grow in

each others shadow" meaning to me; both grow strong in your own way, when you

both are strong and devoting and loving to each other, then the relation is

strong, mature, as well and many may see you as a beackon for a good

realtionship.

Another thing is, that I found my communication skills poor, therefore I

followed a NLP-training (Neuro Linguistic Programming) which clearly helped me

to improve my communication skills, also towards my 3 children. Furthermore I

read the book "Don't be nice, be real" from Kelly Bryson (ISBN 0-9720028-0-4,

topic: non-violent communication) and that gave me my "final" light in my

communication skills (or lack of it!!!!) Far too often, I became disconnected

while communicating and results were poor, especially towards my children. They

immediately bounced back my lack of skills, which I didn't want to see. But

after having serious problems, now I will and I am improving and observe my

connectness while talking with others. I can strongly recommend this book to you

and others, I think you can also get it at www.yogatech.com.

It has become quite a story, but I feel that some one-liners would not give you

what I like to share with you (and others). Every day I feel the truth of Yogi

Bhajan's saying on marriage. How can we improve the "world", if we're not able

to improve our relation with our closest-to-heart partner? Of course I'm open to

share more with you if you desire so

Good luck, keep up and sat nam, Ad Purkh Singh/Frits Wiegant (NL)

Monika typed: