more about compulsion/addiction

[Guest guest]

sat nam all!

the conversation about compulsive eating is so very interesting, thanks

for all the amazing comments. i'd like to bring up a related issue. i

have a compulsion for romance (heh) it seems. i have been thinking about

it all the time, for years and years and years, and have been in a

number of relationships with men who have been unavailable in one way or

another (maybe married, maybe just too many defenses, maybe in another

state, maybe all three at once!). i am so tired of doing this. what i'd

like clarification on is, what is the proper perspective and use of our

sexuality? i have gururattan's book 'sexuality and spirituality,' but i

still wonder about a lot of things. like, sex is a normal human urge, i

think we can agree about that, but it's a lot harder to find a good

relationship than it is to find good sex. should we be waiting for the

first before pursuing the second? is it "okay" to have "casual" sex just

to keep the energy flowing? i find "casual" sex to be rather lacking in

nourishment, but sometimes i'm just in such a good mood afterward, it's

worth it. it's hard, though, to keep my heart in a box, and if i don't,

i end up in pain again...

for a few years i have been saying to myself, and my very patient

friends, "no more casual sex." but i go back to it again and again. i

don't particularly believe that there is anything more than luck at work

in the people who present themselves in our lives for relationships.

i've just seen too many people work every angle and still spend years

alone, while others do NOTHING - no "work on themselves," no "putting

out the energy to the universe" - and end up with their soulmate just

kind of materializing. as i get older (i'm 41, divorced with an 11 year

old child), of course men my age have their own baggage too (their own

divorces, children, fears, defenses, etc.) - even if they think they are

"ready." also as i get older, i think my days of feeling sexual are

numbered (a curse of femaleness), and feel torn between wanting to get

it while i can (or want to), and thinking eventually i won't care

anymore, so why sweat it?

i would like to know what you all know about this, mostly about the

proper place of sex in our lives, and what to do when the right person

ISN'T around.

i am currently trying to break my hudson (heh, that's his name!) habit.

when i get caught in dreamy thoughts of him i mentally recite a mantra -

loud in my head! - whatever comes to me. does anyone have any suggestion

of a meditation that would help? a self-love one sounds like a good

idea...any advice is most welcome.

thank you all, bless you all,

sue in seattle

[Guest guest]

sat nam sue

I think you are hitting the nail on the head for an awful lot of us. After

sex, then what, etc. I am looking forward to the replies you may get. in

being so honest you may be helping a lot of women.

 

Teresa

in Van Nuys, cA

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

To Seattle Sue and All,

 

While there are many ways of overcoming addictions, I will mention again the 12

Step Programs.

These are spiritual programs which allow a power greater than ourselves to

effect a psychic

change which allows us to live free of addiction. If you would like more

information, write to me directly.

 

Be in Love (not lust!)

 

Joan

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Sue!

 

I am not asking you to answer on line. I am suggesting that you reflect on

these issues the following way. There is a book by Yogi Bhajan where he

talks about how sex affects men and women. Women for instance carry some

aspect of the man's energy in their aura for at least a month after a

sexual encounter. Sometimes for much longer. This info is in the Aquarian

Age teacher manual but I think there is a more in depth publication or

book... If someone knows which book I am talking about feel free to remind

us, I don't recall right now. His insights may help you decide if casual

relationships are worth it to you.

 

For you:

1) Do you want a relationship with one man? And if you do, what would it

look like ideally to you? If you don't then what is it you do want?

2) Let's assume you do want a relationship with only one man, and you want

it to be spiritually (and sexually) fulfilling. Then why do you think

you're not creating such a relationship.

 

I'll stop here for now.

 

Ask yourself further questions along these line. Ask if you're stuck.

 

Blessings, Awtar

Rochester, NY

[Guest guest]

Sex in it's highest form is a yogic practice. For the most part, we don't see

it practiced as a yoga though and most of us have no concept of how to practice

it as a yoga.

 

The sexual act, when performed with consciousness, brings one into an experience

of union and ecstasy.

 

When sex is practiced in this way, it's actually a strong healing modality,

because everytime you transcend into a new state of consciousness, you naturally

begin to remove whatever it is in your consciousness that "cloaks" that new

state for you. So the sexual act can be a way of experiencing a new state of

consciousness, outside of the ordinary experience.

 

My friend who is pursuing her PHD in tantra tells me,that's why tantra was

taught to the "commoner"...it was a way of bringing spirituality to the common

people and giving them a yogic practice that they could relate to, outside of

sitting in a cave and meditating, which wasn't conducive to the commoners

lifesyle.

 

Yogically speaking, there's an equation, of which I can no longer remember what

it is, that one can do to figure out how much sex they can have in a month

without depleting themselves. Especially for men, with ejaculation, they are

losing their "ojas" (brain food). But basically, for the most part it works out

to about once per month.

 

When you are channelling the sexual energy (Sat Kriya etc) it strengthens you.

That energy also can be expressed through other creative means.

 

What I am suggesting sounds a little watered down...like that wouldn't be any

fun?!!

 

But actually the more I work with sexual energy/creative energy, the more I

understand that it is always present and we can consciously, in the moment it

arises, make a choice to express it sexually...or to channel it into another

creative project....that can be just as euphoric and joy building as a great

sexual encounter can be.

 

Going back to True and false desires.....the casual sexual encounter is probably

a false desire and it is cloaking the true soul desire that is laying dormant

underneath it....and by seeking the casual encounter, you never get the

opportunity to investigate, what is it that your soul is actually desiring?

 

When you connect with soul desires and begin to clear the path towards

manifesting them....you will feel sated, joyful....you will feel everything that

you are yearning for...there will be no sense of lack. And whether or not it

will involve sexual experiences, will be niether here nor there.

 

So 1st, 2nd, 3rd chakra work....self love , self acceptance meditations...work

with intentions....investigate below the surface into what it is that you are

truly desiring.....

 

All Light,

Sat Sangeet

AB Canada

 

 

 

 

 

 

Find your next car at Canada Autos

 

 

[Guest guest]

SAT NAM,

Book Name is "Sacred Sexual Bliss" By Sat Kartar Kaur.

 

 

Thanks

AKkama

 

--- yoga wrote:

 

> Sat Nam Sue!

>

> I am not asking you to answer on line. I am

> suggesting that you reflect on

> these issues the following way. There is a book by

> Yogi Bhajan where he

> talks about how sex affects men and women. Women for

> instance carry some

> aspect of the man's energy in their aura for at

> least a month after a

> sexual encounter. Sometimes for much longer. This

> info is in the Aquarian

> Age teacher manual but I think there is a more in

> depth publication or

> book... If someone knows which book I am talking

> about feel free to remind

> us, I don't recall right now. His insights may help

> you decide if casual

> relationships are worth it to you.

>

> For you:

> 1) Do you want a relationship with one man? And if

> you do, what would it

> look like ideally to you? If you don't then what is

> it you do want?

> 2) Let's assume you do want a relationship with only

> one man, and you want

> it to be spiritually (and sexually) fulfilling. Then

> why do you think

> you're not creating such a relationship.

>

> I'll stop here for now.

>

> Ask yourself further questions along these line. Ask

> if you're stuck.

>

> Blessings, Awtar

> Rochester, NY

>

>

>

 

 

 

 

__

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