Guest guest Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 Sat Nam All, I am practising kundalini yoga for last few months. I have a question to ask. I am 30 years old, I never felt that I have to get marry. I feel it will stuck me in my way to spritul practice. I feel I have to stay in jungles (ashrams) or all alone. I feel very happy when I am alone. It never came to mind to get marry. I never dreamed about it. I cant understand it, what it is. Because I am from india and my family memebers are asking me get marrried, what should I do. Sat Nam Parminder Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 Sat Nam, Parminder, if your family is urging you and you do not feel prepared for getting married, I can only say: Don't. Because any person whom you marry just because your family wanted will not be happy. And you won't either. But: What you say about marriage being a block on your spiritual path is not true. Yogi Bhajan used to say: Marriage is a carriage onto infinity. A spiritual marriage, where both partner agree to pursue a spiritual path together can be the most intense and most challenging spiritual thing you will have ever done. Seeing another person as a mirror of shadow and light of yourself can give your spiritual path a real boost which no cave will ever give you (because eventually you will have to come out and test it in everyday life :-))) .... I am in a spiritual marriage since 15 years now and know what I am talking about... Be blessed Sadhana Ka. from Eckernförde/Germany Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 Sat Nam Parminder, I think you should explain your intentions to your folks back in India. I am an Indian too, so i know what you're talking about. Have you considered living with a spouse who has spiritual goals and tastes similar to yours? Anyway, according to the Hindu dharma, one should go thru all the 4 stages of life ie. brahmacharya, grihastha, vaanprastha and sanyaas. Without it there's no "Mokhsa" or "Nirvana praapti". Don't want to preach you but, I would urge you to reconsider your decision to stay unmarried. Wish you luck with your goals. Regards Preeti Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 Dear Parminder: There is absolutely no need for you to get married. We each have a path to live. Your e-mail tells us the life you wish for yourself. Follow your intuition about it. That is your life. Nobody else knows what's best for you! Except perhaps masters like Yogi Bhajan! There are many ways to look at why. but you probably know best. Marriage may be a distraction for what you are to do. The following may be of help understanding where you are coming from As Dharam, I like Osho's way of explaining things. So I'll end with 2 quotes of his: "These three things are to be taken note of: the lowest love is sex - it is physical - and the highest refinement of love is compassion. Sex is below love, compassion is above love; love is exactly in the middle. Very few people know what love is. Ninety-nine percent of people, unfortunately, think sexuality is love - it is not. Sexuality is very animal; it certainly has the potential of growing into love, but it is not actual love, only a potential.... If you become aware and alert, meditative, then sex can be transformed into love. And if your meditativeness becomes total, absolute, love can be transformed into compassion. Sex is the seed, love is the flower, compassion is the fragrance. Buddha has defined compassion as love plus meditation. When your love is not just a desire for the other, when your love is not only a need, when your love is a sharing, when your love is not that of a beggar but an emperor, when your love is not asking for something in return but is ready only to give - to give for the sheer joy of giving - then add meditation to it and the pure fragrance is released. That is compassion; compassion is the highest phenomenon." Osho Zen, Zest, Zip, Zap and Zing Chapter 3 And also: "First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is simple, too. You don't depend on others and you don't make others dependent on you. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness. It never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness. You relate, but you don't create a marriage. Marriage is out of fear, relatedness is out of love. You relate; as long as things are moving beautifully, you share. And if you see that the moment has come to depart because your paths separate at this crossroad, you say good-bye with great gratitude for all that the other has been to you, for all the joys and all the pleasures and all the beautiful moments that you have shared with the other. With no misery, with no pain, you simply separate." Osho The White Lotus Chapter 10 Does this make sense to you? Can you relate? Many blessings to you! Awtar S Rochester, NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 Namste, If I am not wrong, in Geeta, it is said that householder yogi is 100 times more great than otherwise, please correct me if I am worng. best, Nil http://yogalist.blogspot.com Kundaliniyoga, Preeti Dixit <preetims wrote: > > Sat Nam Parminder, > I think you should explain your intentions to your folks back in India. I am an Indian too, so i know what you're talking about. Have you considered living with a spouse who has spiritual goals and tastes similar to yours? Anyway, according to the Hindu dharma, one should go thru all the 4 stages of life ie. brahmacharya, grihastha, vaanprastha and sanyaas. Without it there's no "Mokhsa" or "Nirvana praapti". Don't want to preach you but, I would urge you to reconsider your decision to stay unmarried. Wish you luck with your goals. > Regards > Preeti > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 Thanks to mithun and Preeti, I feel very comfortable to see there are who see the world from other side as well. As Preeti told there are differnt phases of life according to hindu relegion, what if they dont happen in particular order and time. If I get marry now, definately it will take next 20 years to complete my responsibilities and stuff and who konws if I have will have that much energy again to go to spritual path. Its hard to say about partner as well. I cant force her to follow what I want. Moreover its not worth forcing her and its hard to get one when we try. Defintaly if someone comes in my life during this practice i will re-think about my decesion. I have just completed my responsibilities towards my younger siblings and I feel getting married and kids is similar stuff. Now I want time for me and for my future and I am strongly feeling from inside that my decesion to stay alone is right. Anyway thanks again to all. Sat Nam. Parminder Singh Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 Hi Parminder You wrote that you feel Marriage will be in the way of spiritual practice. It depends on what you are trying to achieve. I am not trying to influence you one way or the other here. You need to do what is right for you. I am simply offering you another point of view: Marriage need not hinder your spiritual aspirations if you aremarried to someone who is in sympathy with your needs and aspirations, and has similar interests in that regard. In fact, marriage in that way can be a great blessing, not only to yourself but to those around you. Love helps you do this. People can live unmarried lives and deal with their issues, develop spiritual awareness, compassion, sympathy, love and understanding to a greater and greater degree; gradually expanding the awareness to include more and more of life. That is also entirely possible in marriage. Marriage is a great opportunity to develop a selfless attitude of caring, a sense of unity, cooperation and understanding with another human being…taking us beyond that one relationship to being able to express that awareness with others. In marriage you can still cultivate the awareness of your own presence; the "I AM". Historically there has been emphasis placed on `living in the jungle or ashrams' alone to become spiritually aware. While this can at times be necessary, the yoga of marriage can also help you to achieve this. Kundaliniyoga, Parminder Singh <virk0009 wrote: > > Sat Nam All, > > I am practising kundalini yoga for last > few months. I have a question to ask. I am 30 years > old, I never felt that I have to get marry. > I feel it will stuck me in my way to spritul > practice. I feel I have to stay in jungles (ashrams) > or all alone. I feel very happy when I am alone. > It never came to mind to get marry. I never dreamed > about it. I cant understand it, what it is. > > Because I am from india and my family > memebers are asking me get marrried, what should I do. > > Sat Nam > Parminder > > Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 Sat Nam, Can any one tell me if they still have arranged marriages in Sikh Dharma. I was thinking about asking someone to arrange a marriage for me. Maybe I should do it while I am in Summer Solstice Sadhana this summer. How does the whole arrange marriage thing work? Would it be an issue if I am not planning to become a Khalsa? Any advice would help. Dharam Dev. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 Sat Nam Parminder, You already married to Sangat. Your wife would simply be the one you have chosen to live with.............. and that would be the highest and most difficult yoga. That said, would you be more open to marriage if you can find a woman who would support you in your spiritual practice and who would join you in Sadhana? It can be difficult to find one who walks this particular discipline AND who is acceptable to your family (Indian). Sat Nam, Dharam MA <---> OR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 Sat Nam All, Thanks a lot to all of you. I am amazed to see replies from all over the world. After this discussion, I will definately have a positive approach towards this issue. Sat Nam Parminder Send instant messages to your online friends http://au.messenger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 Dear Preeti: When you speak of living through all 4 stages, do you mean in any given lifetime? I believe we go through these stages over many lifetimes. So it could very well be that Parminder S. is in a stage where he no longer needs the stage of marriage to a spouse. I like the idea that that could be replaced with marriage to the sangat as Dharam suggests. At some point we each have to trust our internal guidance and connect directly to our own divine energy. >From the e-mail that Parminder sent us, it is clear he feels complete without a spouse. Why not let him experience this completely until something shifts for him of its own accord, by the grace of God. We become our self when we dare go our own road, even if we're wrong! But we still learn faster that way than by following other's guidance all the time! Blessings, Awtar S. Rochester NY "Your dream is too small if it does not stretch your life!" I don't know who said this but I like it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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