unwanted amorous feelings

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Prithi,

Amorous feelings need to be listened to and expressed somehow. What

you're feeling is probably scaring you, a bit. Act on it, go into it.

Ask him out for lunch (without too much attachment)and see what that

feels like. Flirt but be Alert, is what Yogiji used to say.

I know if I felt what you felt and didn't express this good feeling

somehow, I would have betrayed my heart. I would actually feel an

anger, but an anger toward myself. Most anger is really about US

HUMANS not owning our more amorous feelings and giving expression to them.

Follow your heart,

Sat Nam,

Dharam Singh

MA <---> OR

 

Kundaliniyoga, "Karin" <muskegmama wrote:

>

> I am wondering if anyone can suggest a meditation that would help me

> with these amorous feelings I am having for someone who is not

> available. My feelings don't seem to be particularily sexual, I have

> definitly been in lust before and that's not what this feels like. I

> am very drawn to this person and it is beginning to be distracting.

> Because of my job, I have to be in his presence several times a week.

> Any suggestions?

>

> Sat Nam, Prithi

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Prithi

 

 

 

Normally I would agree with Dharam. It is important to speak up sometimes,

to dare to express oneself. Is this coworker really unavailable or is it a

protection, something he has not been looking at and you are this

opportunity for him and yourself?

 

 

 

But there is a potentially different answer: and it is to feel as completely

as you can what you really want, what you feel attracted to, and to

meditate. Meditate until you realize that what you are looking for is simply

in you!

 

You may be looking outside for something that is inside, that's why it is

not available outside.

 

 

 

Now it is for you to figure out! Enjoy the journey!

 

 

 

And blessings,

 

 

 

Awtar S.

 

Rochester, NY

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Prithi

 

Sat Nam.

 

I liked this answer by Awtar Singh. And I would add to it ...

 

> But there is a potentially different answer: and it is to feel as

> completely as you can what you really want, what you feel attracted to,

> and to meditate. Meditate until you realize that what you are looking for

> is simply in you!

> You may be looking outside for something that is inside, that's why it is

> not available outside.

 

These are YOUR feelings. Feel them, enjoy then, accept them, allow them. Do

this without any stories about another person. Be sure to watch when your

mind starts making stories and gently bring yourself back to your feelings

inside your skin.

 

The stories will however give you some insight about how you are programmed

to think that what will save you is outside yourself, i.e. that you need

someone else to feel this way.

 

Of course, we are always being influenced by outside stimulation by people

and other forms of input. But the reaction is still inside us. Our job is

to monitor our reactions and learn to work with our own energies in a way

that is beneficial to us.

 

The more you experience the feeling as part of yourself, the more what Awtar

suggested will become a reality, i.e. what you may experience as missing

will be found inside yourself.

 

Feelings come and go. These feelings will not last forever, so experience

them now. They are presenting you with an opportunity to experience another

level of self love.

 

Many blessings,

 

Gururattana

[Guest guest]

Dear Prithi,

what Awtar and Gururattana have shared is very wise. Many of us have

confusion about love and attraction...whether that attraction is

sexual or emotional. (One is not more pure than the other, it is that

one is a physical attraction and one is emotional...both are feelings

that are of the body.) As Gururattana so wisely says, these are our

feelings...the love does not come from outside but is generated by us

internally. When we have a crush, there are biological processes that

are set in motion as well as mental ones (and the biological ones

effect the mental ones Love is only problematic when we look to

possess another, when we feel incomplete and buy into the romantic

illusion that another will complete us. If that were true then it

would indicate that we are not a whole person! So Gururattana's advice

to meditate upon the feelings is a most excellent way to discover

ourselves and to see what our desires are trying to tell us about

ourselves.

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with feelings of attraction or

affection. Enjoy them without allowing yourself to become trapped in

obsessive thoughts. We can never possess another, and to attempt to do

so always results in the oppression of the other and, of course,

ourselves. Enjoy your feelings

blessings

ovasoul

[Guest guest]

Many thanks to Dharam, Awtar and Gururattana for your insights.

Sat Nam, Prithi Kaur

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam,

 

These e-mails reminded me of an experience I had during a white tantric, the

first time I ever had a male partner.

 

Prior to that particular tantric I had been coming to understand love and the

difference between what most of our society considers to be love (which isn't

love usually) and sexual attraction...and then what love actually is...as in, a

state of consciousness, that we can experience within ourselves.

 

In learning about all of this I had become aware of some different reactions

etc that would come up when i experienced the above mentioned

experiences.....but it was during this particualr tantric that it all solidifed

for me and I understood very clearly that love is simply a state of

consciousness and that "how", we then express that consciousness, changes from

person to person and from one circumstance to another.....but that the love

that I felt for my husband, is the same love that I feel for my best friend or

my child etc etc.

 

Prior to that, I thought there were different kinds of love...as in romantic

love that requires some kind of physical expression of it, or freindship love

etc etc. I had a lot of stories built up around what particular feelings meant

etc. But as it turns out, the "experience of love" is the constant... and it's

the venue or mode of expression of it, that shifts and changes depending on

the circumstance.

 

And I was able to fully realize that as I looked into my tantric partner's

eyes and all of a sudden was overwhelmed with the same kind of "love feeling"

that I felt for my husband...at first I experienced tons of shame come up

(because i thought oh Lord, what am i doing??) But then, hey..... your in a

tantric line and there's nowhere to run, so i sat with the feelings and

investigated them and allowed them to process out during the meditation....then

the understanding came to me.

 

What I was experiencing was the state of consciousness called "love". It's

an experience within me and it's not actually "because" of the other person.

And if my tantric partner had been my husband, I may have leaned over and

kissed him after the meditation to express it....if it had been a friend I may

have hugged them or shared a smile or a giggle afterwards.....if I had

experienced this love consciousness while singing and performing on a stage, I

may have danced alittle harder...if I had experienced it on my own in

meditation, I may have shared it in a silent prayer of gratitude and blessed

another with it.

 

All Light,

Sat Sangeet

AB, Canada

 

 

 

 

 

 

Share your photos with the people who matter at Canada Photos