Joyful tears for Amma

[Guest guest]

Om Amrtesvaryai Namah!!!

 

Namaste Darling sisters and brothers....

 

ohhhh....that last post by dear sister Jyotsna!!!ooohhhh!!!!

 

Mother is so tricky isn't She?????telling an SRF devotee that She's

the reincarnation of dear Yoganandaji......ohhh!!!the tears are

flowing now....They do have the same Navamsha Lagna...and many Chart

connections...(although i haven't yet posted any of this as i've been

busy with other letters....)

 

However, one could also see it as Divine Mother having incarnated in

the Forms of Yoganandaji and Sri Ramakrsna...had now incarnated in the

form of our darling Amma....i too, had soooooo missed not meeting

Yoganandaji...and Christ, and Krsna...i had SSOOOO longed to be with

Them....all my life...and now with Amma here....i know that i am with

them...all of them...all rolled into our tiny little

Powerhouse, Beloved Drill sergeant of an Amma.....!!!

 

i too, do not know really what to think of this...but it does

certainly fill the mind with wonder, and the heart with adoration....

 

Amritanandamayi Ma ki Jai!!!!

 

Sri Guru Ki Jai!!!

 

Jai Bolo SatGuru Mata Amritanandamayi Devi ki. Jai!!!

 

in the Names department...i think i may already have told my little

story....but in case not....

 

it was also in 1996 (a lot seems to have happened and started

happening around thennnnnnn)....

 

however it was the spring at San Ramon...i had finally asked Amma

earlier in Seattle if She is my Guru, (a year after meeting Her) and

laughing heartily, She had said "Yes, Yes yes yes"....with that in my

"pocket"...i dared to ask Her for a Mantra at the Devi Bhava....Oh She

was so majestic, and like the Queen of the Universe, in Her ever so

dark blue Sari....She seemed to be so dark that She was Darkness

itself...as Black as Kali....and yet radiating a light from

within...so that the Blackness appeared to be shining with light....

anyways....i had the luck to get to San Ramon that spring...(the

only spring too)armed with my new Mantra and the knowledge that

Here was my SATGURU...and on an ordinary Morning darshan...i got up

the courage to ask Amma what my name is....in darshan i just

asked..."Amma, what is my name?"... i didn't really expect any

particular response, and in fact was getting up to leave, after a

wonderful darshan, when Dayamrita Brahmachari said..."no no...don't

leave...Amma's going to give you a name...go up over there...on the

stage"....(he said less but that was the meaning)...so i went up onto

the stage behind Amma, and sat there in Bliss, watching Her sweetly

give darshan to child after child....watching the beautiful loving

soft faces of Her children as they came up to Her....i saw that each

of these darling children of Amma's was a Gopi or Gopa...and that they

had exactly the same expression as the Gopis had when lovingly

regarding their Lord Krsna....(those paintings are right!!!)

this was simply wonderful...just a few feet behind Amma....and this

bliss....just washing over one....this went on for an hour and a

half...just blissed out on the scene and Amma's Grace......

Finally after about an hour and a half...my bladder let me know it

needed attention....just at that moment, that my mind noticed this,

Amma turned around with one of THOSE Looks....looking right at me for

a second or so....then She turned to Dayamrita Brahmachari...and said

something to him....he wrote furiously, and then came to me and told

me what my name was...and the meaning, and gave me the piece of paper

with the Sanskrit writing of it....

you know what...Amma's name just confirmed in me my feelings about

whom i'm having the most affinity in Deva land...(other than Mother of

course!!)...and it showed me that Amma knows me better than i know

myself....all my tendencies, my attitudes, and even my Atmakaraka...

You see, visvanathan is a name of Lord Siva, meaning "lord of the

universe"...which i understand as "the servant of

everybody"....especially when He's living in Kasi, with His Darling

Spouse...Kali...Sri Ramakrsna, when visiting Kasi, so long ago....was

out on the Ganga in a boat at the Manikarnika Ghat....watching the

activities....Manikarnika Ghat, for those who don't know,, is a

burning ghat...a Smashana...a place where they burn the corpses....one

of the main ones in Varanasi (Kasi)....As He stood there watching, He

suddenly gave a cry...and went into samadhi....His friends quickly

steadied Him, lest He tumble into the river....and when He returned to

"ordinary" consciousness, He told them that He had seen a tall fair

Man going about to all the corpses, whispering in their ears, and just

behind Him came an enchantingly Beautiful Dark Lady...with a noose in

Her lovely hand....and She was drawing out the Jivas (souls) with Her

noose, and taking them along with Her and Her Beloved Spouse,

Lord Kasi Visvanath....Lord Siva...

in so many ways can i identify with the Lord Siva...and now i've

discovered (a while ago) that my Atmakaraka Graha in my vedic chart,

is Sani (Saturn)...whose ruling deities are LORD SIVA and MOTHER

KALI.....my two favourites already...it's like this Being is

subconsciously knowing what its' Atmakaraka is....and is identifying

with it from day one of this birth itself...even before "knowing" the

details consciously...and Amma of course knows all this...and so

sweetly let me know that She knows me better than i know myself...and

STILL loves me despite those obvious faults which She and i and many

others know of....and even many of the faults are contained within the

name....within the implications of it...the ascetic, withdrawn,

tantrika yogi type...that feels equally comfortable in the smashan as

in the high Himalayas...meditating in the snow...by rushing Ganga

waters....as the lofty spires scrape the sky.......(i had even gotten

into the drum in earlier years of the Sade Sati i was in....even made

my own drums...oh yes i could identify with Lord Siva....the

outsider....society's reject....the ganja puffing drummer at the edge

of the world....friends with the Ganas and despised by high

society...(such as King Daksha...Sati's father)....Oh Yeah...this is a

role i can get my TEETH into....! Saturn is also the outsider....the

alone fellow drumming at the edge of infinity...wandering His slow

route among the stars....(poetically speaking not Jyotishically)

 

Of course along with the name came the everyday realities which

remind you that you are NOT the lord of the universe on this plane, in

this ego, as lost as we are....but it is a good reminder of Who i

REALLY Am....(and of course Who we ALL are really...)

So i think Amma gives us Names which describe both Who we really

are...and are pointers to that...reminders of Who Amma sees us to

BE!!!and if Amma sees me as visvanathan...that's who i really

am...even though my birth name is equally beautiful...and even has

similar overtones...Hans comes from Johannes...which means "God's

Grace"...thus Hans means "Grace"...like "Kripa" i suppose....so that's

not a problem....

Here's a good one....My Norwegian Grama and Dad used to call me by

a nickname...which resonates totally with Amma and our current world

family.....

They used to call me "Hansamon....Swan son" in Malayalam if i am

correct....or one could relate it to that great mantra...Hamsa....or

Hong Sau for the SRF types....(Bengali pronunciation of Hamsa i guess)

strange connections between the worlds....my Norwegian nickname turns

out to be Malayalam....

Well my dears...it's again getting late, and this body needs to lie

down soon....too many hours on the computer are not so good for the

eyes...

Much Love to you all...i see you as all my own selves...as my own

twin sisters and brothers....all Mother's little hatchlings....leaning

out of the nest with open beaks....waiting for Her to drop that little

tidbit in.....

 

In Our Amma's Divine Love,

and in Her Service

this little brother

salutes You all

with folded hands,

and a full heart

bowing again and again

 

as ever

Your own Self

 

visvanathan

 

Om Amrtesvaryai Namah!