Marriage and Family

[Guest guest]

I've been reading the posts about the pros and cons

of marriage and family life and thought I might

share some quotes I have cherished for years. The

actual Vedic tradition, as most of you know, is to

be a householder first, then reserve the last part

of life for spiritual striving. I knew from an

early age that I wanted to marry and have children.

I'm looking forward to devoting the last part of

my life to spiritual sadhana.

 

Here are the quotes:

 

>From "The Guru" by Manly Palmer Hall:

 

"It is the law of our people that every man

who comes into the world must pay his debt,

and every woman also. It is only by bringing

our own children into life and giving them the

same opportunities we have enjoyed that we fulfill

the spirit of the Vedas. You will be the father

of two children, a son and a daughter. You will

care for them, educate them, and establish them

in their way of life. This is the law of the

householder. When you have completed this duty,

then you may retire into the contemplation of

spiritual things. Now you must live in the same

world that ordinary men have accepted as their

mortal lot."

 

>From "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa

Yogananda:

 

On a previous occasion, before I had joined

the monastic order, Sri Yukteswar had made a

most unexpected remark.

 

"How you will miss the companionship of a wife

in your old age!" he had said. "Do you not

agree that the family man, engaged in useful

work to maintain his wife and children, thus

plays a rewarding role in God's eyes?"

 

"Sir," I protested in alarm, "you know that my

desire in this life is only for the Cosmic Beloved."

 

My guru had laughed so merrily that I understood

that his words had been uttered merely to test me.

 

"Remember," he had said slowly, "that he who

rejects the usual worldly duties can justify

himself only by assuming some kind of responsibility

for a much larger family."

 

Also in the Autobiography of a Yogi, Yukteswar's

guru, Lahiri Mahasaya was an ideal householder

yogi. Quoting again, this time from a conversation

with his supreme guru, Babaji:

 

"A deep purpose underlay the fact that you did

not meet me this time until you were already a

married man with modest family and business

responsibilities. You must put aside your thoughts

of joining our secret band in the Himalayas. Your

life lies amid the city crowds, serving as an

example of the ideal yogi-householder."

 

"The cries of many bewildered worldly men and

women have not fallen unheard on the ears of the

Great Ones....You should guide them to understand

that the highest yogic attainments are not barred

to the family man. Even in the world, the yogi

who faithfully discharges his responsibilities

without personal motive or attachment, treads the

sure path to enlightenment."

 

"No necessity compels you to leave the world, for

inwardly you have already sundered its every karmic

tie. Not of this world, you must yet be in it.

Many years still remain during which you should

conscientiously fulfill your family, business, civic,

and spiritual duties. A sweet new breath of

divine hope will penetrate the arid hearts of

worldly men. From your balanced life, they will

understand that liberation is dependent on inner,

rather than outer, renunciations."

 

So that's my contribution to the discussion. From

my 27 years in SRF (Yogananda's organization) we

were always taught that a balanced life is the

key to liberation.

 

Blessings to all,

Jyotsna

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Health - Feel better, live better

http://health.

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya

 

> "It is the law of our people that every man

> who comes into the world must pay his debt,

> and every woman also. It is only by bringing

> our own children into life and giving them the

> same opportunities we have enjoyed that we fulfill

> the spirit of the Vedas. You will be the father

> of two children, a son and a daughter.

 

I realize I'm treading into dangerous waters with this thread,

but isn't our planet suffering from the effects of overpopulation? A wolf

pack instinctively knows when, due to lack of resources for its survival, it

must limit its progeny to one pup produced by the alpha female. Could this

be figuring into Amma's directions to us?

 

> From "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa

> Yogananda:

>

> On a previous occasion, before I had joined

> the monastic order, Sri Yukteswar had made a

> most unexpected remark.

 

> "Remember," he had said slowly, "that he who

> rejects the usual worldly duties can justify

> himself only by assuming some kind of responsibility

> for a much larger family."

 

There are some people, perhaps some on our list, who haven't rejected

marriage. They desire it but cannot realize their desire. Amma, of course,

says that all desire leads to sorrow, but that is indeed a hard lesson to

learn. Anyway, for such people, this might not be so consoling since they

haven't actually rejected householding.

 

> "A deep purpose underlay the fact that you did

> not meet me this time until you were already a

> married man with modest family and business

> responsibilities. You must put aside your thoughts

> of joining our secret band in the Himalayas. Your

> life lies amid the city crowds, serving as an

> example of the ideal yogi-householder."

 

This is indeed consoling for this child, who prays, by Amma's grace, to stop

wasting precious time on such regrets.

 

 

> "No necessity compels you to leave the world, for

> inwardly you have already sundered its every karmic

> tie. Not of this world, you must yet be in it.

> Many years still remain during which you should

> conscientiously fulfill your family, business, civic,

> and spiritual duties. A sweet new breath of

> divine hope will penetrate the arid hearts of

> worldly men. From your balanced life, they will

> understand that liberation is dependent on inner,

> rather than outer, renunciations."

 

Reminds me of Amma saying that renunciation is stilling the mind.

Pranams to all, including our dear sister Shelly, who manage to do that

amidst the challenges of households and jobs, etc. Has anyone noticed that

being on tour with Amma or even being at the Ashram can be quite challenging

when it comes to stilling the mind? Just ask the NYC devotees who had to

deal with the crowds, the rain, and the fire codes....

 

> So that's my contribution to the discussion. From

> my 27 years in SRF (Yogananda's organization) we

> were always taught that a balanced life is the

> key to liberation.

 

Thank you, dear sister, for sharing your treasures with us.

 

At Amma's feet,

kenna/premarupa

Aum Amriteshvaryai Namah

[Guest guest]

Another thought that comes to mind is that it¹s my understanding that in

ancient Vedic society, one lived with the Guru until age 25 and generally

attained enlightenment by that age, or at least Self Realization. Then one

was fit for marriage if that was one¹s dharma. Of course if our society made

enlightenment the prerequisite to marriage, that would solve the population

explosion in a generation. In fact, the planet would soon be deserted.

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the excelelnt quotations.

 

Everything -- hormones, societal norms, parental expectations,

research on mental and physical health, even tax and property laws --

encourage marriage or relationship. Amma need not add another

encouragement. Marriage or relationship is the default.

 

There are believed to be four stages in life: brahmacharya or the

celibate student life; grhasta or householder status; vanaprastha or

semi-retired simplified life close to nature, and sannyas, the

renunciate life. Those were considered normal stages in life.

Adsankara remarked that a person in whom discrimination and

dispassion were well-developed could move to the renunciate status

sooner than in the golden years. Renunciate status implies that the

person is dedicated full time to some type of spiritual pursuit and

service for the benefit of all. It's not the same as being single in

the U.S. and avoiding relationships. In the tradition the person is

supposed to have a strong dedication to something he/she believes is

a higher goal in order to forego householder status.

 

Some of these ideas don't travel very well between cultures. In the

U.S. today, where is celibacy during the student years?-- for

example. And a fear of commitment or relationship is hardly the

equivalent of sannyas. Meanwhile, many people in relationships, with

or without children, must use discrimination and dispassion often in

order to keep peace in the house and move ahead in something like

normal balance.

 

Aikya

 

Ammachi, Ellen Lamb <jyotsna2> wrote:

> I've been reading the posts about the pros and cons

> of marriage and family life and thought I might

> share some quotes I have cherished for years. The

> actual Vedic tradition, as most of you know, is to

> be a householder first, then reserve the last part

> of life for spiritual striving. I knew from an

> early age that I wanted to marry and have children.

> I'm looking forward to devoting the last part of

> my life to spiritual sadhana.

>

> Here are the quotes:

>

> From "The Guru" by Manly Palmer Hall:

>

> "It is the law of our people that every man

> who comes into the world must pay his debt,

> and every woman also. It is only by bringing

> our own children into life and giving them the

> same opportunities we have enjoyed that we fulfill

> the spirit of the Vedas. You will be the father

> of two children, a son and a daughter. You will

> care for them, educate them, and establish them

> in their way of life. This is the law of the

> householder. When you have completed this duty,

> then you may retire into the contemplation of

> spiritual things. Now you must live in the same

> world that ordinary men have accepted as their

> mortal lot."

>

> From "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa

> Yogananda:

>

> On a previous occasion, before I had joined

> the monastic order, Sri Yukteswar had made a

> most unexpected remark.

>

> "How you will miss the companionship of a wife

> in your old age!" he had said. "Do you not

> agree that the family man, engaged in useful

> work to maintain his wife and children, thus

> plays a rewarding role in God's eyes?"

>

> "Sir," I protested in alarm, "you know that my

> desire in this life is only for the Cosmic Beloved."

>

> My guru had laughed so merrily that I understood

> that his words had been uttered merely to test me.

>

> "Remember," he had said slowly, "that he who

> rejects the usual worldly duties can justify

> himself only by assuming some kind of responsibility

> for a much larger family."

>

> Also in the Autobiography of a Yogi, Yukteswar's

> guru, Lahiri Mahasaya was an ideal householder

> yogi. Quoting again, this time from a conversation

> with his supreme guru, Babaji:

>

> "A deep purpose underlay the fact that you did

> not meet me this time until you were already a

> married man with modest family and business

> responsibilities. You must put aside your thoughts

> of joining our secret band in the Himalayas. Your

> life lies amid the city crowds, serving as an

> example of the ideal yogi-householder."

>

> "The cries of many bewildered worldly men and

> women have not fallen unheard on the ears of the

> Great Ones....You should guide them to understand

> that the highest yogic attainments are not barred

> to the family man. Even in the world, the yogi

> who faithfully discharges his responsibilities

> without personal motive or attachment, treads the

> sure path to enlightenment."

>

> "No necessity compels you to leave the world, for

> inwardly you have already sundered its every karmic

> tie. Not of this world, you must yet be in it.

> Many years still remain during which you should

> conscientiously fulfill your family, business, civic,

> and spiritual duties. A sweet new breath of

> divine hope will penetrate the arid hearts of

> worldly men. From your balanced life, they will

> understand that liberation is dependent on inner,

> rather than outer, renunciations."

>

> So that's my contribution to the discussion. From

> my 27 years in SRF (Yogananda's organization) we

> were always taught that a balanced life is the

> key to liberation.

>

> Blessings to all,

> Jyotsna

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Health - Feel better, live better

> http://health.

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya,

 

> Some of these ideas don't travel very well between cultures. In the

> U.S. today, where is celibacy during the student years?-- for

> example. And a fear of commitment or relationship is hardly the

> equivalent of sannyas.

 

There are also people who have limited abilities to be in relationship.

In earlier times they were the sons and daughters who never left home.

May Amma bless them with the support that they need and may we all serve

each other according to her will.

 

Aum Amriteshvaryai Namah

[Guest guest]

--- Kenna <kenna wrote:

> Namah Shivaya,

>

>

> There are also people who have limited abilities to

> be in relationship.

 

Moi. It would be virtually impossible for me to marry

or be in an intimite relationship. I haven't even

dated anyone since Jimmy Carter was president. In my

case due to Asperger's syndrome, a social disability,

partially related to autism that severly affects a lot

of social skills.

 

To learn more about Asperger's, visit

<http://www.asperger.org/ >

 

 

Keval

 

 

 

 

Health - Feel better, live better

http://health.

[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya,

 

>> There are also people who have limited abilities to

>> be in relationship.

>

> Moi. It would be virtually impossible for me to marry

> or be in an intimite relationship. I haven't even

> dated anyone since Jimmy Carter was president. In my

> case due to Asperger's syndrome, a social disability,

> partially related to autism that severly affects a lot

> of social skills.

 

How amazing! I was in fact referring to people with Aspergers!

I could tell you why off line, if you'd like.

I urge other members of our list to learn a little more about this syndrome.

More and more young people are being diagnosed with it. Many older adults

are undiagnosed and often terribly misunderstood.

 

Aum Amriteshvaryai Namah