Seva around Amma

[Guest guest]

Dear Divine Siblings,

It was very interesting to see all the posts on 'in' and 'out' crowds,

sevas - sevites and wanting to know about vibhuti etc.

I'll share some amusing tales and insights gathered from my experience -

 

In the beginning (when we have just come to Amma), we are impatient

(This does not apply to the disabled and those with young children) and

feel if we don't get darshan right away, maybe Amma will be tired later

on!!! That myth is dispelled after sometime, when we realize that Amma

is the same every moment. I shudder at the little games I used to play

(in full view of Amma!). I would sit in front of her and ask my husband

to join the line. When he came up, I would tell the lap assistant that I

needed to be blessed with him. I would ask a friend to keep my place,

get a quick hug from Amma and come back to my place right up in front.

Those days, the crowds used to be no more than 400 maximum, and I am

sure Amma was aware of all these little games but let me play them

anyway, knowing very well that one day I would outgrow them.

As new sevites, the ego swells up tremendously. I recall a time, when

with, great sense of self-importance I asked Swamiji whether we should

stop giving tokens as the crowd was quite large. He answered very

politely that Radhika would take care of it. Next day (since it was a

retreat, he made a point of looking straight at me as he narrated this

story - there was a man in Bombay who had just come to know Amma. When

he came to see Her on Her North India tour, it seems the gates to the

Ashram were kept closed until the very last minute to keep the crowd

from rushing inside. Caught between the bars of the tall gate and the

pushing crowd behind him, he could see some sevites frantically running

around, some waiting to let the crowd enter, some attending to other

chores. He wished he were part of the inside group. So, the next year,

he was smart enough to get himself listed as a sevite and this time,

with satisfaction, he could see that he was one among the fortunate who

was inside the tall gates and the mad rushing crowd was outside.)

Swamiji's intent was to let me know that I was functioning from the

point of ego (I am a line monitor!), instead of feeling humble, knowing

the Almighty Supreme Mother had a strange compassionate streak to her

personality, which included an unworthy person like me to serve Her.

This is not one isolated incident. There are too many like this!

Thanks to these experiences and the compassion of people around me, now

when it comes to having responsible positions, I am able to deal with

all kinds of behavior from people - to reassure if they are frantic,

scared, impatient; to say a word of encouragement to those anxious; to

comfort the sick and people in pain; to joke around and relieve the

stress and tension. Thank God (Amma) that She lets us make many mistakes

and learn from them. So, next time, we come across a line monitor, who

may be rude, gruff or controlling, knowing that there awaits a mature,

loving, sensible, warm individual waiting to come out, would give us the

strength to maintain our equanimity.

Coming to the attitude of waiting for darshan - I heard this from

someone - it seems a psychic saw rays of light emanating from Amma's

body and touching each and every person in the hall. This person also

saw many celestial figures bowing to Amma during the Arathi. Next time

we are waiting for darshan, knowing that Amma's omniscient and

all-compassionate love holds each of us safely cucooned, would help us

focus on our mantras, enjoy singing the bhajans, or simply drink the

nectarean bliss or even enjoy the drama that takes place around Amma.

Re Vibhuti: Yes, Amma only gives vibhuti to Indians, since they use

them. In my case I have a boxful of Vibhuti from Her, which I give to

people, who are having some suffering. A friend of mine (a Westerner)

begs me for one or two, every time she visits. This year, when she went

up to Amma, she had urgently relayed the request for vibhuti. For some

strange reason, twice Amma hugged her and sent her away. On the final

night during Devi Bhava, she again repeated her request. Amma had

finished hugging her, but quickly drew her back in for another hug and

smiling gave her a packet of vibhuti! I call this friend of mine "the

Vibhuti Thief". She loves to go through my box, arrange the vintage

vibhuti packets in order (from '88) and just loves to gaze at them.

Re: the bookstore and Amma's clothes - Amma has no need for anything.

Her food is plain, boiled or steamed with no spices or oil. She sleeps

little (if at all). Every moment, Her attention is only on Her children.

Without going into too much details, I can only state that it is

impossible for Amma to even attend to her bodily functions, unless

someone is there to care for her. It is beyond human understanding how

this Divine Love functions. We get a glimpse of it from time to time,

soon to be veiled behind Maya. Let us not try to measure this Ocean of

Love with our human yard-stick. Amma allows various actions to help us

on many different levels - on the physical level - to satiate our

cravings, on the mental level - to feed our intellectual curiosity; on

the spiritual level - to quell the soul's hunger and expedite its

reunion with the Universal Consciousness.

During the recent Rhode Island Retreat - Amma gave out a strange

directive - no tokens! The hall coordinators were at a loss to figure

out how the system would work. I could see the panic in some faces as I

happily announced to the people entering the hall that they could sit

where they wanted and get into darshan line when they wanted. For the

westerners, organization, schedule, discipline, understanding the rules

of any situation is very important. Why was Amma breaking a smooth

running system? Would it not create chaos? I dare not second guess Amma

- but my instinct told me that this was the Divine Doctor's way of

stirring the cauldron, to bring out our hidden vasanas, so we could take

a good look at them and prepare to discard them. Some were confused,

some angry, some very uncomfortable, some resigned, some cheerful and

accepting. The reactions were different, each according to our own

mental make up. I find that the Swamis rarely get rattled by anything.

The secret may lie in their strict training, and also the level of

surrender - where they accept each situation as it comes. Which would be

better - to get a smooth darshan, to have no problems when we come to

see Amma or to develop a strong, iron-clad demeanor, whereby we may

remain unfazed by whatever life doles out to us?

Jai Ma!

Chandrika