amma story for sorts

[Guest guest]

First I am sorry I have been very quiet. As some might know I am a full

time mommy that homeschools and we get busy in the fall taking in each

moment we can outdoors and being with friends before the cold winter

here in New England sends this native Californian into hibernation. I

love Winter though. It gives me time to think about what I need to

change in my life and to read and be uplifted.

 

I think I shared my last darshan with Amma was much different than I

ever thought it would be. Being ultra sensitive to energy I firmly

believe it was just something in the air and a big lesson this child

needed from her mother.

 

but the amazing thing is her darshan is still gleaming in the hearts of

my children. It never really was to much of a thought on how it would

affect my children to meet her and see all the lovely people there that

day. I did hope it would leave an impression on them but well they are

kids and I figured over time it would sort of fade I suppose. Not the

case here. They are working hard to raise money for her charity and have

set a goal of what they want to raise by next year when we go to see her

again. They want to present this to her. They talk about her and over

the past month have shared dreams they have had that are all similar

even some on the same night. having 5 kids and 3 dreaming the same dream

amazes me. It confims this child who sometimes doubts and doesnt fully

trust that the warm hugs and feelings are Mother near me when I most

need her. Threw my kids I am learning to turn to her more and often

first when I feel I am unable to handle something in my life.

 

It has been amazing around here. My real hope is that my husband will be

able to go next year. Since he is not a devotee he thinks it is wrong

for him to go and take time from others to meet her. I keep telling him

to knock it off and come next year. *L*

 

So we continue here with Amma's love all around us and flowing threw us.

Having her on our minds. I have come as well to stop with my struggle on

parenting as well. Knowing that with if I do everything with love I am

doing right by my children. As some may or may not know I had a very

horrible childhood with a mother suffering with bi-polar disorder and

alcholism. She still sufferes threw this. But I never learned normal

parenting skills and wanted the pattern of abuse to die with her. Never

did I want a child to suffer threw what I did as a child or what my

mother or grandmother did. Amma did help bring healing between my

mother. I was able to forgive her and enjoy her in my life for a few

years. Unfortunately we have parted ways again becasue I cannot be a

crutch for her or suffer threw her emotional abuse now as an adult. It

is not healthy for my children to see. But it was Amma I ran to when

this happened. I felt a hug and heard "your Mother is always here for

you...I will never leave you my daughter". I felt it was ok to let go

and say goodbye and I keep my birth mother in my prayers and hope she

will find healing and love.

 

I feel like somehow I just rambled on and got lost in my thoughts. Sorry

about that. Hopefully this will touch someone or be what someone needed

to hear/read today.

 

Much love to everyone

 

Shelly

[Guest guest]

Awesome.

kalima <kalima wrote:First I am sorry I have been very quiet. As some

might know I am a full

time mommy that homeschools and we get busy in the fall taking in each

moment we can outdoors and being with friends before the cold winter

here in New England sends this native Californian into hibernation. I

love Winter though. It gives me time to think about what I need to

change in my life and to read and be uplifted.

 

I think I shared my last darshan with Amma was much different than I

ever thought it would be. Being ultra sensitive to energy I firmly

believe it was just something in the air and a big lesson this child

needed from her mother.

 

but the amazing thing is her darshan is still gleaming in the hearts of

my children. It never really was to much of a thought on how it would

affect my children to meet her and see all the lovely people there that

day. I did hope it would leave an impression on them but well they are

kids and I figured over time it would sort of fade I suppose. Not the

case here. They are working hard to raise money for her charity and have

set a goal of what they want to raise by next year when we go to see her

again. They want to present this to her. They talk about her and over

the past month have shared dreams they have had that are all similar

even some on the same night. having 5 kids and 3 dreaming the same dream

amazes me. It confims this child who sometimes doubts and doesnt fully

trust that the warm hugs and feelings are Mother near me when I most

need her. Threw my kids I am learning to turn to her more and often

first when I feel I am unable to handle something in my life.

 

It has been amazing around here. My real hope is that my husband will be

able to go next year. Since he is not a devotee he thinks it is wrong

for him to go and take time from others to meet her. I keep telling him

to knock it off and come next year. *L*

 

So we continue here with Amma's love all around us and flowing threw us.

Having her on our minds. I have come as well to stop with my struggle on

parenting as well. Knowing that with if I do everything with love I am

doing right by my children. As some may or may not know I had a very

horrible childhood with a mother suffering with bi-polar disorder and

alcholism. She still sufferes threw this. But I never learned normal

parenting skills and wanted the pattern of abuse to die with her. Never

did I want a child to suffer threw what I did as a child or what my

mother or grandmother did. Amma did help bring healing between my

mother. I was able to forgive her and enjoy her in my life for a few

years. Unfortunately we have parted ways again becasue I cannot be a

crutch for her or suffer threw her emotional abuse now as an adult. It

is not healthy for my children to see. But it was Amma I ran to when

this happened. I felt a hug and heard "your Mother is always here for

you...I will never leave you my daughter". I felt it was ok to let go

and say goodbye and I keep my birth mother in my prayers and hope she

will find healing and love.

 

I feel like somehow I just rambled on and got lost in my thoughts. Sorry

about that. Hopefully this will touch someone or be what someone needed

to hear/read today.

 

Much love to everyone

 

Shelly

 

 

Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

 

Ammachi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Namah Shivaya.

 

I

> love Winter though. It gives me time to think about what I need to

> change in my life and to read and be uplifted.

 

This native New Mexican transplanted to Wisconsin knows just what you mean!

Real winter has some very special spiritual blessings.

 

> but the amazing thing is her darshan is still gleaming in the hearts of

> my children. It never really was to much of a thought on how it would

> affect my children to meet her and see all the lovely people there that

> day. I did hope it would leave an impression on them but well they are

> kids and I figured over time it would sort of fade I suppose. Not the

> case here. They are working hard to raise money for her charity and have

> set a goal of what they want to raise by next year when we go to see her

> again. They want to present this to her. They talk about her and over

> the past month have shared dreams they have had that are all similar

> even some on the same night. having 5 kids and 3 dreaming the same dream

> amazes me. It confims this child who sometimes doubts and doesnt fully

> trust that the warm hugs and feelings are Mother near me when I most

> need her. Threw my kids I am learning to turn to her more and often

> first when I feel I am unable to handle something in my life.

 

Amma blesses us all through the children. Many times when I see a baby or

small child with Amma, I try to imagine what it would have been like to meet

Amma like that. Then I realize I am meeting Amma like that by taking it into

my heart!

 

> So we continue here with Amma's love all around us and flowing threw us.

> Having her on our minds. I have come as well to stop with my struggle on

> parenting as well. Knowing that with if I do everything with love I am

> doing right by my children. As some may or may not know I had a very

> horrible childhood with a mother suffering with bi-polar disorder and

> alcholism. She still sufferes threw this. But I never learned normal

> parenting skills and wanted the pattern of abuse to die with her. Never

> did I want a child to suffer threw what I did as a child or what my

> mother or grandmother did. Amma did help bring healing between my

> mother. I was able to forgive her and enjoy her in my life for a few

> years. Unfortunately we have parted ways again becasue I cannot be a

> crutch for her or suffer threw her emotional abuse now as an adult. It

> is not healthy for my children to see. But it was Amma I ran to when

> this happened. I felt a hug and heard "your Mother is always here for

> you...I will never leave you my daughter". I felt it was ok to let go

> and say goodbye and I keep my birth mother in my prayers and hope she

> will find healing and love.

 

I can certainly identify with your story. I think it might be more common

among Westerners and more foreign to our Indian brothers and sisters. Seems

like mothering is much more valued and supported in India. Amma has

commented on that and is urging Indians to keep those values. That's another

way I'm inspired at the programs, to see how loving some parents are to

their children and imagine having that kind of parenting.

 

> I feel like somehow I just rambled on and got lost in my thoughts. Sorry

> about that. Hopefully this will touch someone or be what someone needed

> to hear/read today.

 

Please, dear sister, do not apologize for pouring out your heart! This list

has been a little dry that way, IMHO.

 

May Amma bless you and your family.

Thank you for taking the time to share with us.

In Amma's grace,

kenna

Aum Amriteshvaryai Namah

\

>

> Much love to everyone

>

> Shelly

>

>

> Aum Amriteswarayai Namaha!

>

> Ammachi

>

>

> Your use of is subject to

>

>