my experiences with Ammachi

[Guest guest]

Om Amrutesvaryai Namaha,

I'm one of those who of stayed silent in this list.

Now, I would like to share my experience with Amma

during this winter Tour. Before and during the start

of the Tour I had a real hard time. On the Last

Saturday before the program program organizers told

that I will be going to the airport to pick up

devotees coming with Amma. I was very happy to do this

seva, thinking I can meet Amma at the airport. On

Sunday morning I came to know that I wont be required

for the seva, so left to ashram thinking I can do some

seva there. In the evening I became restless and angry

with Amma and I was not singing the bhajans with

devotion at all. After the bhajans I met my friends

and they asked me whether I can take my car to the

airport. I agreed and I went to SFO to give ride. I

was driving alone. There I parked my car in a level A

which I failed to notice went towards the terminal. On

the way I met Bala and he said that Amma had already

arrived and she left the airport. Disappointed, I

thought I should atleast give ride to the devotees.

Now I was unable to find my car. Somehow, going from

one level to other I managed to find my car. I was by

this time my frustration level rose up. Still I

decided to go to the terminal to pick up the

devotees. Here the real fun starts. The first time I

missed the terminal so I had to go out and reenter the

airport. While entering the airport my friend called

me on the cell, while talking to him I instead of

entering the arrival Terminal I entered the departure,

so I again I have reenter the airport. Here I entered

"Arrivals" and parked my car behind Bala's Van. As I

was waiting for some to get into my car, the police

officers asked me to move my car. Again I had to exit

the airport and reenter again. When I reach the

Terminal all devotees had already left and I was left

alone. I returned home greatly disappointed. For the

next three day things were abosolutely against me, I

was going nuts. One more thing which added to my

frustration is that I have drive all alone for 40min,

which was certainly difficult for me. My frustration

level was too high. I had only one chance to have

Amma's dharshan before the retreat. It was retreat, I

attended the bhajans. The second song which Amma sang

"vyatha yariyikkan vazhi" was abosolutely wonderfull

and it made my heart melt. I cried pleading Amma to

save me from this distress. That night I after doing

some seva I came to the hall and my friend told that

Dayamrita Swamiji was looking for me. I thought it

will be regarding some seva or something else and I

decided to meet him later after the program as he was

standing near mother, and I decided to rest for some

time in the hall. Around 2.00am. Dayamrita swamiji

called me and asked to stand besides him. I was

wondering why. Then Amma saw me started to talk with

me. She made fun of me. As I was looking sleepy she

told that Anand's (Ashram resident) and my face look

like face of Bhramam. She gave her hand and asked me

to stand near her. She looked into my eyes and asked

whether I would like to come to Amritapuri. I told

yes. She then told that I should look after the

elephant. I got scared, I told that I will look after

the elephant standing away from it. Basically my ego

spoilled the great seva which one can get. After a

minute she told Dayamrita Swamiji about me in

Malayalam, which he didn't interpret to me. Probably,

she would have told that I don't have the

self-lessness to serve her. The next day I had the

chance to serve food with Amma and also she asked our

group of boys to sing bhajans around 1.30.am. Next day

during the Bhava dharshan I mentally asked Amma to

give lap seva during the end of the dharshan. I had my

dharshan around 7.00am. After my dharshan I was

standing at the side near the door for some time.

During this time Ramesh and Rajesh came and stood near

me. Amma called both of them for lap seva. I was

thinking I won't be getting the chance. Suddenly I

felt an urge to go to Restroom. When I returned two of

my other friends had taken the position for doing the

lap seva. Intrestingly, every thing happened such that

I did get the chance and also it was the end of the

Bhava. Amma during the marraige ceremony, made some

fun, which I enjoyed.

The lesson was, to surender everything at her Feet,

on which I'm still trying hard. Hopefully some day I

will be able to surrender everything at her Holly

Feet.

Also there was an interesting incident on the first

day's night (Monday). I was sitting in the balcony and

was watching Amma giving Dharshan. Near me where few

people who were in pairs and were looking each others

eyes. I was wondering what they were doing. After some

time I felt that Amma's is going to make me go near

her. Suddenly a girl about 20years came near me and

asked me "How are you?", I didn't respond to her since

I didn't know her and I didn't like her way of asking,

bit rusty. Suddenly she sat near me and touched my

feet and asked the same question. I thought, this is

no good, and fled from that place. Then I went and sat

in the hall near my friend. After a min, Nambudri

uncle came and asked me to do Prasad Seva. After few

min I was near Amma. Then she looked at me and asked

me where were you?. It is all her Drama!!!

I used to pray her to give me strength to overcome

sleep during my drive back to home alone. I used feel

that she give me either good experience or rise up my

anger if I'm not having dharshan so that I will be

able to drive myself home safe!!!.

 

Om Amrutesvaryai Namaha,

At her Holly Feet,

Sriram.K

 

 

 

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