Digest Number 668

[Guest guest]

My opinion is that Amma's children are all races,

religions and persuasions and are welcome to

participate in this forum.

 

 

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Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service,

 

Supriti Omenka Nnadi

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

to Sriram K.

 

SURRENDER!!!

 

 

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Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service,

 

Supriti Omenka Nnadi

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

I had a wonderful time with Amma in Michigan. I am a

member of the local satsang. I worked very long and

hard for months getting ready for Amma's visit. The

blessing this year for me was that I worked at my own

pace and was able to choose when to participate and to

rest when it was time to rest.

 

I experienced very beautiful moments with Amma and was

able to also say hello to so many beautiful children

who came to visit. Such a change for me from the

first retreat that I was a host for.

 

I really appreciated how much the Swami's were able to

sing to us in Michigan. It seemed longer than at

other retreats. When I sang for Amma I was able to

sit directly in front of her and watch her eyes as I

sang.

 

Amma greeted me so lovingly when I did prasad seva.

And it was wonderful to be so close and witness the

exchanges that take place during darshan.

 

One of the things that always makes me cry is when

Amma showers us with flowers. I dread and welcome

this time because Amma is so close and yet I know at

the same time she is leaving, again. It is so

difficult to say goodbye to her. Even though I know

she is really everywhere and with me in my heart, the

mind wants to take over and wail and panic because she

is physically leaving. As time goes by, though, it is

getting easier each time I see her and though I still

cry, it isn't the wailing, sobbing, exhausting ordeal

that it used to be. Amma is healing my heart each

time I see her.

 

One year I decided I would just skip Devi Bhava

altogether because it was so painful. So I chose to

load up my car and take stuff back to the ashram and I

figured I would be back just in time for the flowers

being thrown. Well, I arrived back and Amma was gone!

I burst into tears and must have cried for at least

an hour. I was driving and crying so hard I could

hardly see the road. I cried and cried and cried and

sobbed and yelled at myself for being so stupid. I

finally cried myself to sleep sometime later. I awoke

later around noon feeling like a pale shadow of

myself. Weak and listless. Then I got a phone call

that Amma was going to feed us at the ashram. I was

amazed. I was thrilled. I remember looking in the

mirror at my puffy swollen eyes and smiling. A big

smile. I tried to pull my face back together. It was

like remolding clay. I had cried so hard my face was

swollen and stiff and didn't want to smile. I smiled

anyway. I got ready to see Amma and realized what a

miracle this day would be. I was going to see my Amma

and she hadn't left after all. I felt totally like

she had done this just for me. And I was so grateful

that I would have a chance to see her and to say

goodbye. My Amma is the sweetest!

 

=====

Om Namashivaya - In Amma's service,

 

Supriti Omenka Nnadi

 

 

 

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