Digest Number 673

[Guest guest]

Om Namah Shivaya, Surrdha,

 

Have you read "The Price of Motherhood" by Ann Crittenden? She's an

economist who took "time off" to be with her little boy, and learnt a lot in

the process...Please let me know what you think of it...I thought it was a

really good book.

 

For myself, I KNOW that there are things that I would never have learnt if I

hadn't stayed home with my daughter...patience, wonder (I thought I had it,

but I really didn't anymore), detachment, attachment, MORE patience. It's a

really hard school to be attending though...the constant working at the

small stuff...at the

taken-for-granted-that-you-are-on-duty-24/7-no-sick-days-off...that no one

stands up and cheers you for, or hands you a paycheck for...in other words,

selfless work. On top of that, the big one -- Self Doubt! Is it any wonder

that we all have moments of misgiving? As in everything, I do believe it's

the attitude that counts. If I stayed at home and baked cookies from

scratch, and wove my kids' clothes myself, etc. but if there is ego

involved, or on the other hand, staying at home degrades into a laziness to

do any actual work (I've felt this happen to me a few times!), then it is no

better or worse than any other work, I guess. What do you think?

 

Awareness, constant alertness, existing in the moment, self-control,

emotional maturity, and the chance to do seva are part of the job

description of parent... There's no choice but to grow up when one becomes

a mother, I think. One is impelled to move to the next step...

 

Usha

 

______________________

>

> Message: 2

> Wed, 04 Dec 2002 19:18:49 -0500

> kalima <kalima

> Re: Mothers failing in their duty, says Amritanandamayi

>

> *sigh* She is so right. I must admit I have problems myself dealing with

> how society is and how they look upon mothers. It is hard not to get

> caught up in the traps. I go threw self doubting that I am a good mother

> and wife when around other moms who work and are very glamours (to me

> that means matching outfits and having nails done and seem to have it

> all together) I feel unimportant and silly being simple. Thank Amma for

> my husband putting up with me during these times of uncertainty when I

> think I am doing wrong and should be out making a living.

>

> It is then my children will show me how being home teaching and loving

> them is more improtant than anything I could ever hope to do. They don't

> mean to but it is like a spark that says "hey woman why are you worrying

> about stupid things? You have it all right here! dont look elsewhere" I

> am getting better but it is a struggle.

>

> Oh just to clairfy. I am not saying moms can't work and be good moms and

> raise great kids. One of my best friends is doing just this as a single

> mom. I am talking the moms who seem to have children because it was the

> thing to do or a status symbol or they really should have gotten a

> goldfish. I just sometimes feel like the low one on the totem pole when

> it comes to moms. I stay home full time, dont work and homeschool my

> kids. I have been asked by mom's in my neighborhood if I am looking for

> punishment and am I insane.

>

> I should print this out and put it somewhere I will see it to remind me

> how improtant my job and role in this house is.

>

> Surrdha

> Mommy to 5

> CT