TO KARUN my experiences with Ammachi

[Guest guest]

Dear Karun, How beautiful that you shared your lovely leelas with

honesty

-

 

-- In Ammachi, sriram karunagaran <karun_sriram>

wrote:

> Om Amrutesvaryai Namaha,

> I'm one of those who of stayed silent in this list.

> Now, I would like to share my experience with Amma

> during this winter Tour. Before and during the start

> of the Tour I had a real hard time. On the Last

> Saturday before the program program organizers told

> that I will be going to the airport to pick up

> devotees coming with Amma. I was very happy to do this

> seva, thinking I can meet Amma at the airport. On

> Sunday morning I came to know that I wont be required

> for the seva, so left to ashram thinking I can do some

> seva there. In the evening I became restless and angry

> with Amma and I was not singing the bhajans with

> devotion at all. After the bhajans I met my friends

> and they asked me whether I can take my car to the

> airport. I agreed and I went to SFO to give ride. I

> was driving alone. There I parked my car in a level A

> which I failed to notice went towards the terminal. On

> the way I met Bala and he said that Amma had already

> arrived and she left the airport. Disappointed, I

> thought I should atleast give ride to the devotees.

> Now I was unable to find my car. Somehow, going from

> one level to other I managed to find my car. I was by

> this time my frustration level rose up. Still I

> decided to go to the terminal to pick up the

> devotees. Here the real fun starts. The first time I

> missed the terminal so I had to go out and reenter the

> airport. While entering the airport my friend called

> me on the cell, while talking to him I instead of

> entering the arrival Terminal I entered the departure,

> so I again I have reenter the airport. Here I entered

> "Arrivals" and parked my car behind Bala's Van. As I

> was waiting for some to get into my car, the police

> officers asked me to move my car. Again I had to exit

> the airport and reenter again. When I reach the

> Terminal all devotees had already left and I was left

> alone. I returned home greatly disappointed. For the

> next three day things were abosolutely against me, I

> was going nuts. One more thing which added to my

> frustration is that I have drive all alone for 40min,

> which was certainly difficult for me. My frustration

> level was too high. I had only one chance to have

> Amma's dharshan before the retreat. It was retreat, I

> attended the bhajans. The second song which Amma sang

> "vyatha yariyikkan vazhi" was abosolutely wonderfull

> and it made my heart melt. I cried pleading Amma to

> save me from this distress. That night I after doing

> some seva I came to the hall and my friend told that

> Dayamrita Swamiji was looking for me. I thought it

> will be regarding some seva or something else and I

> decided to meet him later after the program as he was

> standing near mother, and I decided to rest for some

> time in the hall. Around 2.00am. Dayamrita swamiji

> called me and asked to stand besides him. I was

> wondering why. Then Amma saw me started to talk with

> me. She made fun of me. As I was looking sleepy she

> told that Anand's (Ashram resident) and my face look

> like face of Bhramam. She gave her hand and asked me

> to stand near her. She looked into my eyes and asked

> whether I would like to come to Amritapuri. I told

> yes. She then told that I should look after the

> elephant. I got scared, I told that I will look after

> the elephant standing away from it. Basically my ego

> spoilled the great seva which one can get. After a

> minute she told Dayamrita Swamiji about me in

> Malayalam, which he didn't interpret to me. Probably,

> she would have told that I don't have the

> self-lessness to serve her. The next day I had the

> chance to serve food with Amma and also she asked our

> group of boys to sing bhajans around 1.30.am. Next day

> during the Bhava dharshan I mentally asked Amma to

> give lap seva during the end of the dharshan. I had my

> dharshan around 7.00am. After my dharshan I was

> standing at the side near the door for some time.

> During this time Ramesh and Rajesh came and stood near

> me. Amma called both of them for lap seva. I was

> thinking I won't be getting the chance. Suddenly I

> felt an urge to go to Restroom. When I returned two of

> my other friends had taken the position for doing the

> lap seva. Intrestingly, every thing happened such that

> I did get the chance and also it was the end of the

> Bhava. Amma during the marraige ceremony, made some

> fun, which I enjoyed.

> The lesson was, to surender everything at her Feet,

> on which I'm still trying hard. Hopefully some day I

> will be able to surrender everything at her Holly

> Feet.

> Also there was an interesting incident on the first

> day's night (Monday). I was sitting in the balcony and

> was watching Amma giving Dharshan. Near me where few

> people who were in pairs and were looking each others

> eyes. I was wondering what they were doing. After some

> time I felt that Amma's is going to make me go near

> her. Suddenly a girl about 20years came near me and

> asked me "How are you?", I didn't respond to her since

> I didn't know her and I didn't like her way of asking,

> bit rusty. Suddenly she sat near me and touched my

> feet and asked the same question. I thought, this is

> no good, and fled from that place. Then I went and sat

> in the hall near my friend. After a min, Nambudri

> uncle came and asked me to do Prasad Seva. After few

> min I was near Amma. Then she looked at me and asked

> me where were you?. It is all her Drama!!!

> I used to pray her to give me strength to overcome

> sleep during my drive back to home alone. I used feel

> that she give me either good experience or rise up my

> anger if I'm not having dharshan so that I will be

> able to drive myself home safe!!!.

>

> Om Amrutesvaryai Namaha,

> At her Holly Feet,

> Sriram.K

>

>

>

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