to Robin, about the presence of Amma & letters to Her

January 10, 2003

Dear Robin,

I just want to share with you this story of how Amma cares for Her

children. It is an article in the January 2003 Matruvani, a small

magazine with news of Amma, printed in India. I am guessing that

you probably do not have this magazine, so I am posting the article

here. Any typing errors are mine.

In Amma's Love,

Sara J.

----

AMMA'S UNSENT LETTER (Br.Shivamrita Chaitanya)

"It was two years since I came for Amma's darshan. Even so,

during darshan Amma did not utter a word to me. In the past, how much

Amma used to talk to me! Now Amma has many devotees to love Her.

Amma has no love left for me..."

After reading out the letter to Amma, Lakshmi readied the tape-

recorder for Her reply. Amma receives thousands of letters daily in

several languages from all over the world. Amidst Her tight work

schedule, Amma will briefly reply to those who need a direct

response. The normal practice is that these letters are translated

and read out to Amma in Malayalam and Amma's replies are then

translated back into the respective languages before they are sent.

Lakshmi often reads letters to Amma while She is brushing Her teeth,

combing Her hair after bath, or having tea. In fact, owing to the

attention She gives while replying, Amma sometimes forgets to attend

to Her own, personal needs.

When She heard these words, Amma, who was eating, sat silently

for a moment. Then She began to reply as if speaking directly to the

complainant:

"Dear daughter, you are saying Amma doesn´t love you; that

Amma did not talk to you even though you came for darshan after two

years. Amma only knows how to love; She doesn´t know how to show

love.

Amma could not say anything because Her heart was overflowing

with love when She saw you. Can all those things of the past two

years be talked about in just two seconds? Can the ocean of love be

contained in the shell of a word? But daughter, you should know that

for so many years, even now and always, Amma is with you day and

night as your shadow. My dear daughter, you should be kind enough to

show a bit of love to Amma too. You have no idea how eager Amma has

been to hear a word from you or at least to see you thinking about

Amma.

"Let me remind you about some of yesterday's events.

How many times in the early morning did Amma whisper into your ears,

´Get up, get up?´. But you only went deeper under your blanket.

Later, when you got up hesitantly, Amma was sure that you would

remember Her for a moment or at least turn to the table to glance at

Amma's photo.But it doesn´t matter – maybe you had

important things to think about. After all, Amma only has to look

after her children.

"Then, to remind you that you have a Mother, your young

daughter was made to say;´Good morning, mummy.´ To what end?

When your daughter anxiously extended her hands to touch you , you

scolded her and chased her away, shouting, ´Brush your teeth and

take a bath."

Amma thought that perhaps you had gotten up on the wrong side of the

bed. Comforting Herself with the thought that there was still time

left, Amma entered the kitchen. There you started looking for the box

of matches after turning the cooking gas on. When you could not find

it, you started cursing everyone. Fortunately, your husband, who was

shaving then, smelt the gas and thus helped to avoid a mjor accident.

Amma felt relieved. But Amma´s hope of hearing a word of thanks

from your mind for God´s Grace, if not for Amma´s, was wasted.

"Amma was still with you, supporting you when you slipped in

the bathroom; reminding you to take the office key before you stepped

out of the house; stirring compassion in the mind of the bus driver

who had started moving away from you; and ensuring that your feet did

not slip when you jumped onto the footboard of the bus.

"Arriving ahead of you in your office, Amma found that your

boss was in a very angry mood. He was getting ready to shout at you.

What could Amma do? At once a close friend of his was made to

telephone and convey some very good news. It was when he was

rejoicing at the news that you arrived. Fortunately, he didn´t say

a word to you.

"Amma knows that Her dear daughter has a lot of

responsibilities in the office. But Amma had just hoped that you

would consult Her when some of the important decisions were to be

taken. Alas, you do not realize that the fate of the hopes, wishes,

tears and dreams of so many lives hangs on the tip of your pen. Amma

keeps prompting the right course in your innermost being. But more

often than not, this subtle voice is drowned in the echoes of your

thoughts.

"Still, Amma thought that you would remember Her at least

while taking out your lunch box, before eating. Even when it was

shown to you through the example of the person sitting next to you,

it did not occur to you that you should thank God for the food you

were about to have. Standing outside the room and keen to eat a ball

of rice from your hand, Amma extended Her hand. Even though you saw,

you turned your face away. Finally, when you threw the leftovers into

the waste bin, Amma snatched and ate a handful from the dogs and felt

satisfied. After all, for Amma, Her children's leftovers are

prasad.

"You rested for a while after lunch. Amma waited for you to

say something to her then. But your interest was in speaking ill of

others with your friends. ´Can't Amma expect for Herself a

small percentage of Her daughter's love for her friends?´ She

wondered. ´Oh no, a mother should not have such hopes.

Children have a world of their own. At times they may not even like

their mother to enter into it.´

"While walking back from the office, Amma's eyes were on

your every step. The slab covering the drain on your way was about to

break into pieces. Will daughter step on it? O! Saved just by a step!

While you were crossing the road, Amma's heart sank. My daughter

has not noticed the speed of the car that has overtaken a truck. Oh,

my God! My Child! Amma had to act quickly. All She could lay Her

hands on was a fly. But it took a moment for you to rub your eye, and

in that moment, the car raced past. Though Amma does not know any God

or Goddess apart from Herself, in her sankalpa as Mother, She

sometimes calls out to the Lord. But how is that not a word of thanks

to that Vishwashakti (Universal Power) dropped from your lips?

" The evening chanting of prayers could be heard clearly

through the loudspeakers in the nearby temple; you used to sing those

prayers when you were young. Amma was so eager to hear you singing

once again the way you sung then. Alas, the fruitless hopes of a

mother!

"Amma then joined you in completing the evening chores –

calling to your attention the right things at the right time, lending

a helping hand and transmitting enthusiasm to your tired mind. Amma

knows that a married daughter, who has also become a mother, will be

able to remember her own mother only at the very last moment.

Finally, daughter switched off the kitchen light. A few moments were

left before going to bed. Amma – living like an orphan in a dusty

glass frame in the puja room, behind a tarnished lamp lit by the

servant maid only to prevent scolding – waited hopefully for a

glance from her daughter. It was then that the sound of the TV arose.

Amma went to see what her daughter's favourite programme was.

It was a mindless story, interspersed with tasteless advertisements.

Daughter was yawning and rubbing her eyes. ´If it is so boring, why

can´t she stand up and walk away?´ Amma thought. ´Instead,

´Instead she is watching the

whole serial, criticizing the producers and actors.

Keeping the homework aside, little daughter is also sitting and

watching. If the gardener himself lets the flower buds be attacked by

pests, to whom can we complain? Can a mother contain all her inner

sorrows in a sigh? No! At least, before going to bed, utter one word

or think one thought of prayer! This day has gone like this.

Tomorrow... my dear daughter will certainly remember Me tomorrow.

Sleep well, daughter, let Amma cover you with a sheet of beautiful

dreams. Even if Her daughter doesn´t know it, let Amma's warm

kisses moisten her forehead. Along with an accidental teardrop...´´

Amma stood up suddenly, as if waking from a dream. "Oh,

Lakshmi, what did I say? Don´t write those things to her. My child

will be hurt. ´Amma could not speak because of the rush.

Don´t worry,

Amma is always with you. Kisses...kisses...kisses...´

This is all you should write."

"Amma, you haven´t eaten anything. When will You..."

"It doesn´t matter. It is time for darshan. My children

must be anxious, waiting so long."

January 10, 2003

Sara,

Thank you so much for sharing "Amma's Unsent Letter" with us. I got a

little choked up reading it, it is such a very sweet and inspiring

story, confirming what I already knew but sometimes am unsure of,

that Amma is with each and everyone of Her children each and every

step of the way. I think we all sometimes need to be reassured of

this.

In Amma's Love

Jon

Om Amriteswaryai Namah

Ammachi, "saramj33 <saramj@m...>"

<saramj@m...> wrote:

> Dear Robin,

> I just want to share with you this story of how Amma cares for Her

> children. It is an article in the January 2003 Matruvani, a small

> magazine with news of Amma, printed in India. I am guessing that

> you probably do not have this magazine, so I am posting the article

> here. Any typing errors are mine.

> In Amma's Love,

>

> Sara J.

>

> --

--

> --

--

>

> AMMA'S UNSENT LETTER (Br.Shivamrita Chaitanya)

>

> "It was two years since I came for Amma's darshan. Even so,

> during darshan Amma did not utter a word to me. In the past, how

much

> Amma used to talk to me! Now Amma has many devotees to love Her.

> Amma has no love left for me..."

>

> After reading out the letter to Amma, Lakshmi readied the tape-

> recorder for Her reply. Amma receives thousands of letters daily in

> several languages from all over the world. Amidst Her tight work

> schedule, Amma will briefly reply to those who need a direct

> response. The normal practice is that these letters are translated

> and read out to Amma in Malayalam and Amma's replies are then

> translated back into the respective languages before they are sent.

> Lakshmi often reads letters to Amma while She is brushing Her

teeth,

> combing Her hair after bath, or having tea. In fact, owing to the

> attention She gives while replying, Amma sometimes forgets to

attend

> to Her own, personal needs.

> When She heard these words, Amma, who was eating, sat silently

> for a moment. Then She began to reply as if speaking directly to

the

> complainant:

> "Dear daughter, you are saying Amma doesn´t love you; that

> Amma did not talk to you even though you came for darshan after two

> years. Amma only knows how to love; She doesn´t know how to show

> love.

> Amma could not say anything because Her heart was overflowing

> with love when She saw you. Can all those things of the past two

> years be talked about in just two seconds? Can the ocean of love be

> contained in the shell of a word? But daughter, you should know

that

> for so many years, even now and always, Amma is with you day and

> night as your shadow. My dear daughter, you should be kind enough

to

> show a bit of love to Amma too. You have no idea how eager Amma has

> been to hear a word from you or at least to see you thinking about

> Amma.

> "Let me remind you about some of yesterday's events.

> How many times in the early morning did Amma whisper into your

ears,

> ´Get up, get up?´. But you only went deeper under your blanket.

> Later, when you got up hesitantly, Amma was sure that you would

> remember Her for a moment or at least turn to the table to glance

at

> Amma's photo.But it doesn´t matter – maybe you had

> important things to think about. After all, Amma only has to look

> after her children.

> "Then, to remind you that you have a Mother, your young

> daughter was made to say;´Good morning, mummy.´ To what end?

> When your daughter anxiously extended her hands to touch you , you

> scolded her and chased her away, shouting, ´Brush your teeth and

> take a bath."

>

> Amma thought that perhaps you had gotten up on the wrong side of

the

> bed. Comforting Herself with the thought that there was still time

> left, Amma entered the kitchen. There you started looking for the

box

> of matches after turning the cooking gas on. When you could not

find

> it, you started cursing everyone. Fortunately, your husband, who

was

> shaving then, smelt the gas and thus helped to avoid a mjor

accident.

> Amma felt relieved. But Amma´s hope of hearing a word of thanks

> from your mind for God´s Grace, if not for Amma´s, was wasted.

> "Amma was still with you, supporting you when you slipped in

> the bathroom; reminding you to take the office key before you

stepped

> out of the house; stirring compassion in the mind of the bus driver

> who had started moving away from you; and ensuring that your feet

did

> not slip when you jumped onto the footboard of the bus.

> "Arriving ahead of you in your office, Amma found that your

> boss was in a very angry mood. He was getting ready to shout at

you.

> What could Amma do? At once a close friend of his was made to

> telephone and convey some very good news. It was when he was

> rejoicing at the news that you arrived. Fortunately, he didn´t say

> a word to you.

>

> "Amma knows that Her dear daughter has a lot of

> responsibilities in the office. But Amma had just hoped that you

> would consult Her when some of the important decisions were to be

> taken. Alas, you do not realize that the fate of the hopes, wishes,

> tears and dreams of so many lives hangs on the tip of your pen.

Amma

> keeps prompting the right course in your innermost being. But more

> often than not, this subtle voice is drowned in the echoes of your

> thoughts.

> "Still, Amma thought that you would remember Her at least

> while taking out your lunch box, before eating. Even when it was

> shown to you through the example of the person sitting next to

you,

> it did not occur to you that you should thank God for the food you

> were about to have. Standing outside the room and keen to eat a

ball

> of rice from your hand, Amma extended Her hand. Even though you

saw,

> you turned your face away. Finally, when you threw the leftovers

into

> the waste bin, Amma snatched and ate a handful from the dogs and

felt

> satisfied. After all, for Amma, Her children's leftovers are

> prasad.

> "You rested for a while after lunch. Amma waited for you to

> say something to her then. But your interest was in speaking ill of

> others with your friends. ´Can't Amma expect for Herself a

> small percentage of Her daughter's love for her friends?´ She

> wondered. ´Oh no, a mother should not have such hopes.

> Children have a world of their own. At times they may not even like

> their mother to enter into it.´

>

> "While walking back from the office, Amma's eyes were on

> your every step. The slab covering the drain on your way was about

to

> break into pieces. Will daughter step on it? O! Saved just by a

step!

> While you were crossing the road, Amma's heart sank. My daughter

> has not noticed the speed of the car that has overtaken a truck.

Oh,

> my God! My Child! Amma had to act quickly. All She could lay Her

> hands on was a fly. But it took a moment for you to rub your eye,

and

> in that moment, the car raced past. Though Amma does not know any

God

> or Goddess apart from Herself, in her sankalpa as Mother, She

> sometimes calls out to the Lord. But how is that not a word of

thanks

> to that Vishwashakti (Universal Power) dropped from your lips?

> " The evening chanting of prayers could be heard clearly

> through the loudspeakers in the nearby temple; you used to sing

those

> prayers when you were young. Amma was so eager to hear you singing

> once again the way you sung then. Alas, the fruitless hopes of a

> mother!

> "Amma then joined you in completing the evening chores –

> calling to your attention the right things at the right time,

lending

> a helping hand and transmitting enthusiasm to your tired mind. Amma

> knows that a married daughter, who has also become a mother, will

be

> able to remember her own mother only at the very last moment.

> Finally, daughter switched off the kitchen light. A few moments

were

> left before going to bed. Amma – living like an orphan in a dusty

> glass frame in the puja room, behind a tarnished lamp lit by the

> servant maid only to prevent scolding – waited hopefully for a

> glance from her daughter. It was then that the sound of the TV

arose.

> Amma went to see what her daughter's favourite programme was.

> It was a mindless story, interspersed with tasteless

advertisements.

> Daughter was yawning and rubbing her eyes. ´If it is so boring, why

> can´t she stand up and walk away?´ Amma thought. ´Instead,

> ´Instead she is watching the

> whole serial, criticizing the producers and actors.

> Keeping the homework aside, little daughter is also sitting and

> watching. If the gardener himself lets the flower buds be attacked

by

> pests, to whom can we complain? Can a mother contain all her inner

> sorrows in a sigh? No! At least, before going to bed, utter one

word

> or think one thought of prayer! This day has gone like this.

> Tomorrow... my dear daughter will certainly remember Me tomorrow.

> Sleep well, daughter, let Amma cover you with a sheet of beautiful

> dreams. Even if Her daughter doesn´t know it, let Amma's warm

> kisses moisten her forehead. Along with an accidental teardrop...´´

>

> Amma stood up suddenly, as if waking from a dream. "Oh,

> Lakshmi, what did I say? Don´t write those things to her. My child

> will be hurt. ´Amma could not speak because of the rush.

> Don´t worry,

> Amma is always with you. Kisses...kisses...kisses...´

> This is all you should write."

>

> "Amma, you haven´t eaten anything. When will You..."

>

> "It doesn´t matter. It is time for darshan. My children

> must be anxious, waiting so long."

January 11, 2003

Dear Sara,

Is there anyway to order this to my house?

"saramj33 <saramj" <saramj wrote:Dear Robin,